Dating thread 181 - into 2020 with finesse and strong boundaries!

[Menora]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

shitwith I empathise - I cannot get over Mr BC wanting to do nice things for me. I'm trying to get used to it! I think we need to believe we're worth it. My exh was never ever as lovely as Mr BC is, even right at the beginning!

@sexy, know what you mean about not appearing desperate / needy, but I was reading an article. It basically said having needs isn't needy....I think you should tell him what you expect.

Mr Smile has asked to see me later...I did completely cool it with him but he said he understands I don't want to be tied down so early on and would still like to see me so I thought why not.

Mr Smile is a nice guy, we do have fun, the chemistry physically and mentally isn't the same as Mr Straight. Mr Straight though can't commit at the moment and it's very much just see how things pan out with him we have agreed.

I feel similar to marlborough I think which is trying to give guys a chance but no one gets me somehow like Mr Straight.😐 I should just enjoy tonight.

Maybe I should go back on the apps, but that would just be to distract myself.

@shit just enjoy it, he sounds lovely x

I had a lovely 3rd date with Mr Joiner last night! We have agreed we are exclusively dating each other and I'm seeing him again on Monday!

@shit how's your uterus??

@shitwithsugaron @BatshitCrazyWoman the other thing as well as general nicenesss is someone wanting to touch me like hold my hand or sit next to me on the sofa or stroke my hair etc I prob didn’t have that for the whole time I was married 🤷🏼‍♀️. I like it but it feels alien to me 😂

@dancemom good news !

@bangheadhere40 Sounds like you have a choice to make maybe ?

OK people, still no word from my FWB almost 24hrs after we had our text exchange. Do I just leave it? I was last to explain, he said very little. I have a feeling he thinks I can't be bothered with him so he isn't bothering either. I'm quite sad but not sure whether to text.

You know I was saying about my ex giving me hassle. I have just found I have been signed upto loads of dodgy sites with my email...I didn't do it and it's only happened since the barrage of abuse.

I can't prove its him but I know it is.

@bangheadhere40 my stbxh did the same. I really think you need to contact the police and he shouldn't be having contact with your DC

I'm not sure how the police can prove it was him signing me up?

My daughter has nothing to do with him now, I know my son will contact him off his own back without telling me sometimes.

@leave did you go to the police? How can I prove this.

I'm halfway through my deliriously lovely weekend with Mr C (still in bed and he's downstairs making breakfast!) and I've just started receiving abusive texts from my ex. Our dc are with his mum and their cousins for the weekend and he is texting saying "stop using my mum so you can have your dirty weekends"
It's just horrible.

@peanut why do they do this????

Jesus it's horrible, I don't know whether to tell mr smile later why I'm so shook up or not mention it.

@bangheadhere40 the police did try to investigate it but it's not easy. They were already aware of his abuse in the first place before I had to contact them about the digital abuse.

What has he signed you up to? To protect yourself I think it's a good idea to report anyway. Disassociate yourself with what he's doing.

@peanut will you tell Mr C?

@bangheadhere40 yes I did- would you like me to PM you?

@leave just loads of fuckbuddy sites...which ties in as he was calling me names and saying I must have loads of fuck buddies in the messages....

I hope he hasn't put a photo of me up anywhere....

I had no idea he was capable of any of this.

@leave yes please, although for some reason I can't get PMS on my phone, only on monday when I'm at a pc x

And I saw my email password had tried to be reset a few times.

I'll PM you- i wish Mumsnet would change it so you can get pm's through the app- I have to log on to the proper site through my phone to send/read them.

So basically the police tried to investigate and contact the companies involved to try and find out who was responsible. It got nowhere but I'm glad I have it recorded as I have a crime reference no if I ever need it.

I'll put more detail in a PM.

Thanks @leave x

@Esha...what did you both say and how was it left?

@bangheadhere40 at first he thought I was joking, then asked me what I wanted. I said I liked things as they were but wanted to be treated more as a priority than just a FB. He said it's not all on him, I am 50% responsible, but I think that was referring to our lack of chat the other day. I replied well he clearly thinks tv etc is more important than contacting me, that with his ex he was chatting all day and in the night too. Argh, I ended saying I wasn't too bothered but that if he treated people as insignificant, they wouldn't bother. No reply since, and it's been 24hrs. I don't believe I'll hear anything now.

@eesha....tricky. How long have you been seeing him?