Dating thread 181 - into 2020 with finesse and strong boundaries!

[Menora]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@crazycatlady20 he said casual and I agreed but I’m not sure what that means really 🤷🏼‍♀️. I’m not seeing anyone else and I’m 99% sure he isnt currently but that doesn’t mean he’s not keeping an eye out

@Jane1978xx but do you want more?

eesha jane FWB is the most complicated bollocks ever. After this whole Mr Big saga I won’t do it again. I think it must only work if you can remove all feelings which I can’t and the fact you are both wondering what’s going on means it might not be right for you either. Sorry if I’m projecting but my mind is whirring today with it all

@Eesha not at the moment it’s only been a few months. But I’m not sure what more there is unless you promise not to see other people which could happen anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️. I don’t have any more time to spend with him and we are in contact every day. It’s too early for meeting friends and family etc so maybe I’ll see where I’m at in a few months

@Marlboroandmalbec34 for me it’s early days anyway and i don’t think it would be any different anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️. Maybe just wouldn’t be looking at other people but people go off or find other people anyway

I don't think it's going to be straightforward with mr straight....we are chatting but the distance and his no free time is awful.

I could see it being FWB possibly...but I would want more, time will tell.

@marlborough mr smile not a gonna, completely cooled it with him though, he is growing on me but I'm not sure so early on.

Enjoy your date tonight @marlborough x

@jane are you happy with the casual situation? Maybe bring up if not, he might be thinking the same.

I’m good for now as I don’t think anything would be different.

Oh wowzers I got a message on Pof that I almost didn’t reply to but I’ve not laughed so much in ages spent an hour sending messages, he’s so flirty while respectful, he’s looking for casual, but I’d be so up for that with him and he’s local he’s already suggested coffee and cake, I think I’ll call him Mr Med, I was gutted the children came home from school so I had to stop messaging!

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I agree with you though in my situation, I think I'm looking for emotional support in the wrong place with my FWB and as @tigerdater said, he can't really offer me that plus we aren't suited long term at all. I've gone back on tinder and matched with a few so I'll see what happens there, might be nice to have more male chat.

@eesha how often do you see him?

AverageGuy she died over two years ago. And we do live in the south east in a particularly expensive place. I do feel there is a slight 'failure to launch' with the SDC - but then they didn't go to uni or anything ... I did once say to him that there are flat and house shares etc but it's not my business. He has said he's told them they'll have to move out eventually .... one SDC is struggling with grief and one of Mr BCs friends told me that this DC is quite highly strung so I think he's being kind. He's quite pragmatic about stuff so I don't think he's molly coddling ....

My own feelings are that I don't have time to waste with someone who isn't quite ready to move forward (rather than move on) so in a couple of months I'll have to have a think ... We have plans for the summer, but I don't want to be a bit of 'light relief' - been there and done that, and it ended in (my) tears

Feel like a giddy schoolgirl. I'm about to spend an ENTIRE WEEKEND with Mr C.

POF weirdos:
A bloke swipes yes to meet me, looks at my profile then adds me to favourites. All within 10mins.
So I send him a message - thanks for adding me to favourites.

He denies he added me.

Now he's returned saying, I see you are actually local to me. Where do you live?
I haven't bothered to reply

Hey all happy dates on this friday night. I'm off for a weekend date to somewhere in Europe with mr sailor. Boom or bust peeps. Boom or bust x

Evening all,
I've tried to catch up - but that's a lot going on!
Happy dates to anyone out tonight.

My update
Mr Popcorn messaged me last night - he was out of the country for a week (No 'phone due to job restrictions); I didn't think I'd hear from him again...confused...

Meeting Mr Movies this evening - was going to call it off as he lives so far away + he explained he's relocating to this area, so we'll see..

Mr Vegetarian on Tuesday night - he has started getting suggestive/flirty on messages, not sure what to do about that as not met him (or am I being naive?)

Mr Spa - not sure what is going on there - spoke for an hour on the phone on tues, both busy this w/e..

But, I'd love to see mr popcorn again ....urgh

@undecided why is it always the ones we want that things go wrong with...😅

Good luck to those with overnight dates....

Been chatting to Mr straight for hours now, I just don't see how we can meet up with his schedule...

If he had told me he loved me instead of mr smile I would be all his.

@echo..what a weirdo

My update from my depressing day 😂

1 iron bothered to reply to me out of all my efforts, he is 47 and looks like he may have baby twins. This is a little bit off putting. If they are not his twins I don’t know why they are on there in a few photos. They could be grandchildren. I will have to ask. Also one really unflattering photo of his pot belly/hairy chest/huge tribal tattoo

Have a great weekend of dates everyone!

@menora why do they think that is attractive!☹

He’s actually not unattractive at all it’s just so unflattering. He’s kind of leaning over a sofa in a dark room with the TV on and it cuts his face off so all you can see is his belly, chest hair and tattoo

I replied to my pof weirdo saying "yes I'm local, where did you think I live"
Him - it says X on your profile but that doesn't always mean that you live there. Where do you live?
Me - in X, like my profile says
Him - you're not giving much away, are you?

Hope you all have a good weekend and happy dates to those who have them

@echo 😅😅😅😅