My almost husband & his unhealthy relationship with sex

[An0nym0us2011]

Me & my partner (due to get married in almost a month) have been together since we where 13, we've had our upside downs, but were generally really happy & have great communication and trust.
However, we've always had a really great sex life, probably 5/6 times a week. We both have some kinks were Into.
However the past ,2 or so years his have been abit more intense e.i him sleeping with men (I knew about and gave him the green light because I wanted him to explore) , wanting me to sleep with other men (which I didn't do) but he really wanted me to, wanting to go to swinging clubs etc. We've discussed him sleeping with other women but with only me there & involved. He was fine with that and agreed. He talks about sex 24/7 it's all he thinks about, he's always watching porn, it's abit unhealthy.

He works away 4 nights a week quite far away. He asked me to get another guy round and sleep with him on Friday, I told him I wasn't sure about it but he kept telling me too and how happy it would make him. I started messaging people on a site, he asked for the messages so I screen shotted and sent him them...he got upset and said he didn't like it and he felt jealous so I immediately stopped and apologised loads. He fell out with me for a few days. But said it wasnt my fault but he just wasn't mentally okay lately ( he occasionally goes through bouts of bad depression). So we made up, he came home from work all was fine.
He was asleeo and left his phone downstairs so I thought I'd have a look through it, to find messages to a bunch of girls on a dating app, sexting and inviting to his hotel. I saw red because were always so open and agreed with each other and communicated everything.

He swears he never had anyone round because he doesn't have the confidence and it was just the thrill of talking to other girls, I kinda believe him but I'm heart broken.

I don't want to leave him but could he have some kind of addiction? I just needed to tell someone as it's not really something I can talk to people about

At the very least, cancel the wedding and don't have any more kids.

It must be a shock, OP, to find that everything you considered 'normal' is just simply repulsive to almost all other women.

Start to understand exactly who has brainwashed you into thinking all this is normal. Then get as far away from them as you can.

I am guessing you are completely alienated from your parents because they are the people that you would usually learn 'normal relationship' from. Do you have friends that you can confide in, or have you been isolated from anyone not into your partner's scene?

If you are indeed isolated, then you can call Women's Aid. Their number can be googled. They will listen and they can help.

Please also consider that this fuck of a partner is the man who will be bringing up your children with you. Again, a normal woman would not want a relationship like this to be the example that her children grow up seeing.

That's good that you're still reading, OP, and the fact that you only replied to that one message suggests to me that you're choosing not to fight against the ideas that have been repeated over and over on the thread: that he's groomed you, that there's a whole normal world out there you know nothing of, which you can be part of if you're brave enough to take the steps to leave.

Part of that bravery is not hiding behind the defence "I like this stuff as much as he does; it's him and me against the world." You've partly admitted your discomfort with the stuff he wants from you, but given the number of posts all saying the same thing, it's going to be difficult not to bury your head in the sand and keep acknowledging there's a problem.

Stick with it, OP.

You don't need to hold on that tight, OP, no one else will want him.

Grim.

Beyond words.

RUN.

This can't be real?