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Original poster

What’s your most irritating thing about OLD?

175 replies

OldTownRoadHome · 12/01/2020 11:39

Forgetting the freaks and the weirdos of course!

My biggest irritation that gives me the sadness/rage is how cowardly men (maybe women too wouldn’t know) are.

So you date for a bit, then something happens or the messages go bland, I always give an out eg. “Feel things have dropped off a bit, sensing you want to call it a day?” And you get a “”no just busy want to stay in touch/go out again/be friends”.

Then you text and get yet more blandness, no progression, ignoring and just feel like a bit of a dick!

If someone has given you an out why can’t people be honest and say “yes let’s leave it” or whatever, gives me the total rage Hmm.

And of course I always just delete number and move on but still grrr!

So what is your biggest irritation?

OP posts:
BeenN77 · 15/01/2020 11:02

I am so glad someone has pointed out the pictures of children, as I've been criticised for being unreasonable on this point. I immediately reject any profile with children's pictures. If you have children, put it in your profile, but why must I (or anyone) see their faces. Are they the ones dating? What's worse, "not my kid, it's xxx's." So you have put a child's pic on what is technically an anonymous forum, for gknows, who to look at and they are not even yours???? To me that's a red flag, that you aren't very protective, respectful of boundaries and/or potentially lack in common sense.

It would seem this time round, the majority of my matches only seem to be interested in a quickie. I don't have a problem with that, as I prefer upfront honesty than wasting my time. However, I am also being unreasonable or "demanding" (as one "gent" put it) to think that if I am going to agree to casual sex, I still want to be good and treated like a woman and not just a vagina for their use. Half of the conversations I have had in the last month, have been the type of transactional conversations I assume a punter would have with a prostitute.

My favourite over the festive period - as I was bored, and so played along - have been the multitude of "American" servicemen, who are all stationed overseas, but are shortly going to be finishing their tours and relocate permanently in the UK - because they have dual citizenship? All these "American" men, who can NOT string a properly worded english sentence together.

Those that after swiping on the four pics I have on the site (and not having read my profile), have decided I am the woman they have waited their whole life for. "Buddy, you don't even know me - I could be a fucking nightmare!"

ArranUpsideDown · 15/01/2020 11:37

I have a family member in her 80s who has used OLD and had several LTRs in the past 15 years (the LTRs ended because of a DP's death not because they broke up).

I don't know if there are wide generational differences. It does seem as if people who are 70+ can be very transactional in their communication because they absolutely know what they want and are prepared to state it and move on if it doesn't seem there's agreement on the first date.

Tip from that generation - they all date several people at once until such time as they have the "going steady" conversation.

And yes, my relative does get the OLD chancers who get in contact despite being 50 years under the preferred age range and state that they're looking for a sugar mommy.

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 15/01/2020 11:43

My biggest gripes:

Women using filtered photos.. why? If you post photos with smooth skin, nice sparkly eyes etc and turn up to a date looking anything but.. first impressions won't be good.

People wanting to message for weeks.. why? Get to meeting up so you're not eating each others time.

Ghosting cause they don't have the balls to say, "Sorry, didn't fancy you"

Being led on.. second date snogs and hugs but then 2 days later they suddenly don't fancy you anymore.

Basically is all horrific.

NameChangeNugget · 15/01/2020 12:30

I can imagine those idiotic pictures with cats ears would be annoyance for both sexes. Just why??

Sexnotgender · 15/01/2020 12:36

Filtered photos are so ridiculous.

I’m a member of a beauty group on Facebook and so many women post filtered photos and everyone fawns about how amazing they look and oooh what foundation do you use your skins amazing. Total bollocks.

Tiffanysetting · 15/01/2020 13:45

Dated hundreds of women over the past 2yrs.
What most annoyed me was the pics didn't match the real life person. Complete waste of a journey and time.
Funniest was a woman who had crystal in her bra and knickers. Also dated a woman who booked a hotel room on her husband's expense account.
Now I've met someone who I asked out randomly as we had zero connection with via messaging.
We both had the electrifying, nervous butterflies on our first glimpse of each other. Second and third dates were the day after the first, consecutive days.

Love on the first date it seems. Moved in, buying a house, planning marriage and children.

Macaroni46 · 15/01/2020 15:15

Omg BeenN77 I had this too with the 'American' servicemen who suddenly were madly in love with me just after a few messages. 🤮

ravenmum · 15/01/2020 16:41

The American servicemen are a very well-known scam. Not worth starting a conversation with at all.
www.army.mil/socialmedia/scams/

ThirtyAndASmidgen · 15/01/2020 17:13

“I still want to be good and treated like a woman and not just a vagina for their use. Half of the conversations I have had in the last month, have been the type of transactional conversations I assume a punter would have with a prostitute.”

I’ve had exactly the same experience with men of a variety of ages. I think it’s the lack of respect that bothers me the most - not just in OLD but in dating in general.

grecianurn82 · 15/01/2020 19:00

My biggest gripe probably isn't relevant to most of you, but from the point of view if a woman seeking another woman, the amount of girls on there looking for someone to have a threesome with them and their boyfriend/husband/partner is ridiculous. Fair enough if they state that in their profile or bio but when you've been talking to someone for a while before they bring it up it's really annoying.

IdiotInDisguise · 15/01/2020 21:34

@grecianurn82 Shock

God, that’s bad! What planet are they on?!?

grecianurn82 · 15/01/2020 21:43

@IdiotInDisguise it's awful, every gay girl I know who has tried OLD has had it happen to them.
Its particularly annoying because I state in my profile that I want a relationship and not into one night stands.

IdiotInDisguise · 15/01/2020 21:52

Good grief, and it is not as if you can add to the profile that you are NOT available for that kind of activity, because that would make it worse.

Dealing with stereotypes is always a problem... I think some people in OLD heard my name and immediately assumed they were going in a date with a “Latin lover”, instead they went on a date with the catholic girl who had it hammered into her to wait for sex until marriage. Grin

Japanesejazz · 15/01/2020 23:24

When your job status is lawyer
I get lots of messages from men wanting free legal advice about their divorce (I don't touch divorce) and why the fuck are they dating when they aren't single?

Deadsouls · 15/01/2020 23:29

I can't bear the flakiness and ambivalence or lack of transparency.

Like trying to fix a date and it becomes like the most difficult thing in the world. If you're not interested it's okay! Just say so, just don't faff about and flip flop around.

I don't think unmatching without some sort of 'I don't think we're suited' type message is on either.

sunshiney78 · 15/01/2020 23:42

Men pouting in pics. Just. Why??
And using photos that are 10-20 years old so look nothing like their photos when I’ve used previous time, effort, babysitting money etc to get to the date.

IdiotInDisguise · 15/01/2020 23:58

Oh yes, why? Why? Pouting looks awful in women, in men is just disgusting!

IdiotInDisguise · 16/01/2020 00:00

... but it can be worse, men photos with filters applied to have little animal ears and a cat nose. Another crap thing to do as a woman that looks creepy in men.

Deadsouls · 16/01/2020 00:01

Oh have seen others mention men posing with children in their profile pics. This really puts me off. I think its really strange to put pictures of your children on a dating site. It makes me wonder what the purpose of doing this is.

Deadsouls · 16/01/2020 00:21

And when it says in a profile: 'I'm looking for my partner in crime' or 'I don't do drama'

WatchingFriendsOnRepeat · 16/01/2020 07:32

The last time I did OLD was about 8/9yrs ago. Then I was really badly catfished by someone on Facebook actually, so never met anyone via fb or OLD again.
I thought it was bad enough back then but it sounds like it has got a lot worse!

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 16/01/2020 08:23

I'd just like to have a special shout out to those people that detail their qualifications and job titles on POF.
Graduate Woking as an executive.
Bachelor's degree working as a teacher.
Etc
Gives an air of intelligence to their profiles.
3 messages in you realise that air of intelligence is more like the air of a brain fart and they're as bright as a 1watt bulb.

Sidge · 16/01/2020 08:40

Ah I did OLD for about six or seven months and it was a mixture of fun, entertainment, soul destroying and time wasting.

I was matched and messaged by one guy and he asked if I liked his pics (little red flag there straight away). I said yeah they were ok but would be better if not taken in a public toilet as whilst he looked good the urinal behind him didn’t. He got in a right huff and deleted and blocked me 🤣🤣

I had some nice dates, have acquired a FWB, a pen pal, and had a short term thing with a lovely guy but OMG I met or chatted with some horrors.

PhannyPharts · 16/01/2020 10:19

With the children's photos. At best you're using your child as a prop to pull, at worst (especially as a woman) you could be advertising them to nefarious types who prey on single parents. If you have kids mention it in your bio or some apps give you the option to tick the box.

I saw my ex husbands profile on bumble- that was bad enough, then I saw one of his pictures was with my son. It was awkward as hell but I had to address it and several weeks of enraged arguments followed with him kicking back trying to justify why he needed to use it- there isn't a justification. My son is not a pulling prop.

TwistinMyMelon · 16/01/2020 10:41

I found exactly the same thing OP. I was starting to feel disheartened and insecure. I was cynical at first but I read this book on kindle...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Rules-digital-generation-bestselling/dp/0749957247/ref=mpssa111?keywords=the+rules&qid=1579170956&sprefix=the+rules&sr=8-1

I want to believe I'm too grown up to be "playing games" but I can't help become a bit to invested too quickly when I like someone (as it's so rare I find someone that I actually like!). I met a guy last weekend, had a great first date and he was super keen to arrange a second, but a couple of days later his texts were going a bit dry and unenthusiastic... I read this book and just decided to not answer his texts so quickly and basically ignore him a bit and then he texted yesterday to pin me down and confirm our date next weekend! Also I am going against my instinct and continuing to go on the sites etc as it is a distraction and after all we are not exclusive after one date..,

Hate to say it but it seems to work! Disappointly men are so predictable! 😂