Dating thread 180 - Deep thoughts on attachment styles, psychology and love bombing. (Oh my!)

[PerfectPretender]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn. That would hurt my tummy too

I'm just angry. And tonight a lot of it is directed at FWB.

He got all the fun he wanted and then fucked off right before Xmas. He's always having a nice time, doing nice things. All loved up and I'm on my own. And I can't even go on a date cos of my dodgy stomach. Having a shit time lately, health issues, loneliness, stress.

He's off having a great time and my life is just shit.

Stillsexystillsingle I know what you mean. More often than not I'm more than happy on my own but often I really want some company to go out or stay in!

Also being tense/nervous/stressed always used to make my IBS flare up much worse, so if you were feeling a bit nervy about tonight that may be something to do with it.
Either that or just avoid trifle and cider together ☹

P.M

@Ant330 I think I'm going to have to stick to the blandest diet possible ☹️

Gin doesn't seem to affect me too badly. Will have to stop cider.

Honestly I'm really thin because I avoid eating too much and avoid things I think will upset my stomach. Then sometimes, like today, I almost forget, because sometimes it's fine. Ugh I'm fed up tonight.

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn.
It may not be helpful, but can you go and have a hot bath or watch a favourite tv show, or something you’d not always have time/ inclination to do?
I understand loneliness and stress, and feeling stressed exacerbates the loneliness; it’s shit.

Dairy is my nemesis now I’ve switched to oat milk I’m a lot better but I know if I’ve had too much cheese, and I love cheese!!!

@Undecidedsofa I'm laying on my bed listening to music which is nice and chilled tbf. You lot help, there's a lot of support on here 💐

I've been stressed out lately because of stuff going on at home and actually managed to lose weight over Christmas which was a first, I actually bought some camomile tea I don't really like the taste but I think it is helping me to feel a bit calmer. Someone who just fancied going for a drink on a Friday after work and maybe a pub lunch on a Sunday plus the occasional weekend away would be a good place to start! I know exactly what I'd like my relationship to look like I just need to find a man who shares my vision! But seems so hard to find when most of them run away before you've even got to a first date and especially the online ones!

So a ‘The chemistry wasn’t there’ message from Mr Local.
I’m finding it really hard to find anyone where there is any chemistry 😕

@Undecidedsofa that sucks. Did you feel any on your part?

@shitwithsugaron glad it's going well 👍

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn yup, a little, he said he ‘distinctly felt there wasn’t any ( chemistry) there for you either’
So, not sure how I came across..i do get v nervous,

@shitwithsugaron yay!

@Undecidedsofa it's so hard to judge how the other person is feeling sometimes.

I'll never understand men. I also don't understand how you can have loads of chemistry with someone and it doesn't go anywhere. Wish I wasn't at home- I feel fine now too.

Its sat night and I'm home alone and lonely . I dont mind so much as it's my weekend to have the children anyway and so I need to be home but I'd love to get a date lined up for next weekend when I'm child free. I just really need something to look forward to. My life is boring. The evening are very long when you're on your own and the weekends especially are worse.

The people who like me on OLD are not the sort of people I'd go for, and the ones I like dont seem to be interested in me. Sigh!

I hate bumble but I don't see it as proper OLD as noone ever replies. I agree with you Tiger. But I'm not feeling like going the full tinder yet.

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn that's rubbish. I had Ibs/stomach troubles for years and it's really wearing. For some reason it stopped. No idea why but I can't eat bread or drink wine/beer still but that's ok. I feel for you esp as it's not something you want to go into to a date. Or have on a date. My health is terrible, have several low level conditions which rear their heads every now and then and make me feel shit.

@TheresGotToBeMoreToLife
You and me both!

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn I always used to forget when I'd had quite a few drinks, then eat a pizza on my way home from a night out.
I woke up in the morning not having a clue why I'd got a bad stomach until somebody reminded me about my takeaway visit 😂
I'm old now so those kind of nights out are rare ☹

TheresGotToBeMore same, been home all day as the dc’s didn’t want to go anywhere, they have been in their rooms all day and all evening so I’ve been on my own. I have a day tomorrow without them but not date , a bit of a rubbish, lonely weekend.

I have finally dumped Mr FO.
Well, I think I have. He didn't follow through on his promise to phone me so I phoned him and left a voice mail explaining why I'd had enough of his behaviour.
No idea if he's listened to it. And I don't care.

Ok so got 4 chats going, that's not bad. Not sure I'm actually interested in any of them though. I'm being sensible this time. I've put my actual age and my lowest is 40. I'm also not only swiping clones of Mr Unsuitable I'm swiping men who are well, suitable!

@shitwithsugaron glad you still fancy him. Hope the boobs are doing their thing.

@EchoElephant well done.

Aw sorry you missed your date leavebefore

And for all of those feeling lonely and blue. Single parenting is hard and the evenings are long when your on your own. We are a super strong group and this supportive thread is wonderful.

Have an excellent night shitwith