Dating thread 180 - Deep thoughts on attachment styles, psychology and love bombing. (Oh my!)

[PerfectPretender]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Quick update from me - I spoke to Miss Confusing towards the end of last week, and suggested me buying her a drink. She replied OK, but she's about go away for a few days but will be back in a week - which I took to be quite positive although not exactly dripping in enthusiasm - although she seemed quite tired/down that day.

She also replied quite flippantly when I asked her how she was feeling (saying she felt awesome, when clearly she didn't), and then said she thought I was asking if she'd thought anymore about me and her - which I wasn't. Not quite sure what to make of that - I'm guessing just the fact she mentioned it means she is still thinking about it?

Anyway, I left it for a few days and she was back in touch today - sending me a photo of something that she knew I'd like.

In the meantime, I have a re-scheduled first date with Miss Running on Thursday, and Miss Pens has just asked if we can meet up next week instead of tomorrow. I've been chatting to a few others on Bumble, but they take a day or two to respond sometimes so not sure if any of those will go anywhere. Tinder has been pretty unsuccessful this time around - no decent matches yet. I might sign up to Hinge again tonight as well when I get back from the gym.

@marlbs so pleased for you. He's a lucky man too.

@bangheadhere40 a date with mr straight 😬 I’ll be on the edge of my seat

@crazycatlady20 I stopped with the silly q texts and found I got more texts to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

@jane so am I! This is like 3 months of chatting, although the last few weeks I've cut it right back . I am so nervous, more so because I feel like I know him. I am aware this could go very wrong, and half expecting him to flake , it will be the oddest experience ever 😅

What should we do? We are meeting at 10am....and it is raining on friday

@cat good about the dates, I'm not sure what to make of miss confusing

@Stuckinarut79 say you are always early and ask what he drinks and have it waiting

@Jane I joined this thread just as you were meeting your mr message, I was on the edge of mine! I know yours was really different in person.

Nothing from mr smile tonight, so I'm not making an effort if he isn't.

Mr Friday he was yes ! Short, boring, bad bad dress sense, defo old or filtered photos on the app 😬. He talked for an hour about every illness he’s ever had. But I met my mr gray a week later and that’s all good 😀

Thank you salty

I will shitwith I promise. Not tonight though, he has his daughter. Tomorrow though. Gahhhh.

bangshead friday morning wooohoo I was panicked your date would be same time as mine and I would be stuck in the loo checking for your updates!

I need to give up my job to be able to keep up with everything happening on here!!
I would be seriously pissed off if I didn't get a text til that time after dtd for the first time - that's not on...
The discussions have made me think about Mr Popcorn - he was 90 mins away and we dtd on the second date, then met and he stayed over 2 more times...texts dropped off a bit after the first time, and became more about logistics etc. Then, he couldn't commit.
I think I am seeing it all a little more clearly now.

I am now chatting in-depth with 3 irons, all who would like to meet :)

Mr Movies - hopefully this weekend (working in the US this week)
Mr Vegetarian - next Tuesday
Mr Spa - next weekend (spoke for nearly an hour on the phone this evening)

there is one more who is keen to meet me but his messages are all a bit 'how are you', 'have a nice day' etc, so I am not sure even if I'd get on with him.

@undecidedsofa sounds great ! Hopefully you click with at least one of them

@Jane1978xx. I hope so - I seem to be rattling through quite a few of them!!

@shitwithsugaron woohoo! Boom Chica wah wah

@Undecidedsofa maybe they need a rattling 😜

Shitwith's gonna get laid! 🤪

@shitwithsugaron yeah !!

@bangheadhere40 thanks - I’ve decided to not wait around for her, and will just see what happens.

I don’t know what to make of her either - she’s certainly living up to her nickname! But my gut feeling is that she is still interested, so I’m playing the long game.

@TheCatWithTheHat If she was interested then you wouldn't have to play the long game...I'm sorry but you're doing the right thing in moving on.

@TheCatWithTheHat women do play games a little sometimes but she’s been blowing hot and cold a while now and I think if she did like you a lot she’d have jumped at the chance when you offered attention. Move on there’s plenty of other women out there who will confidently tell you what they want

@Sunshineandflipflops I’m going with my gut feeling which is telling me she is still interested but needs to sort her head out first. I can’t remember who it was on here who said to base my feelings on how she acts face to face rather than what she says on WhatsApp, but that makes sense to me. She’s pretty much said she’s up for meeting again next week, so I’ll have a better idea where the land lies then if we do meet.

In the meantime I’m not going to put myself on ice while she makes up her mind, so will just see what happens - you never know, one of my Bumble irons may blow me away and make me realise what a fool I’ve been getting so stressed about her!

Hi all - been lurking here for a couple of weeks after dipping my toe into the online dating world.

Thought I'd break cover after I read @TheCatWithTheHat's posts just now. Similar situation in some ways: been messaging someone, going well and finally agree to meet but she's now umming and ahhing because they're planning something else that day. "Quite positive although not exactly dripping in enthusiasm" kind of sums it up.

Tempted to go with my gut and just move on right now... I mean, if someone was seriously interested, surely they'd be a bit more proactive about making it happen?