Dating thread 180 - Deep thoughts on attachment styles, psychology and love bombing. (Oh my!)

[PerfectPretender]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@bangheadhere40 didnt you also say the sex wasn't great. Perhaps he felt you thought it wasn't great either and then thought not to contact you as much. Just a thought.

It's also a change in his texting pattern @Windmillwhirl just after he has had sex... are you actively dating out of curiosity?

I am, notcoolmum. Met someone recently online.

@notcoolmum I know, it's annoying. things have prob been good cos I've not been stressing, now I'll prob blow it !

I probably will but I know the reason why hes not coming, so prob unfair of me to say. frustrating thing is he is in the area sometimes but then has to drop someone home (a distance away) and at the min cant really afford to come back 🙁

Maybe prick was a little harsh but when you’ve had sex with someone th first time
And they’ve had a decent drive home I would think you’d check in 🤷🏼‍♀️.

I stand by the word 'prick'

No, I hear you Jane, it's not nice. Perhaps he doesn't realise the importance of the first text after DTD and is a little clueless. Perhaps he picked up the sex wasn't great and isn't sure what to say.

I agree that a check in out of courtesy would have been the right thing to do.

I’m with everyone else leaving a text till 3pm when that’s not his usual pattern especially after dtd is definitely telling you something - listen.

Having said that how much is too much texting in the first few days (1st date Wednesday), he texted to say he’d hope my children had a good day at school, I’m going with he’s over invested but he’s starting to irritate me now.

bang just throwing in my tuppence worth.dont forget mr straight isn't great either - what with the never meeting - it's not a choice of mr smile or mr straight - there may be a 3rd option out there waiting for you.re mr straight I would meet him ASAP and if he won't then go nc with him.

@Stuckinarut79. That is a lot but maybe he’s new or nervous or very keen.

This really resonated with after an iron I was having a great conversation with last week stopped replying suddenly then blocked me.

Thought a few of us might need it after reading the posts

Nice welsh, words to live by thank you

@Jane1978xx I’m keeping an eye but I realised he’d messaged last at last lunchtime and was maybe trying to think of something to say to justify messaging me again!
The more he texts (when it’s not weird) the more I’m starting to like him, must not over invest, must not over invest, must not over invest!!

@stuckinarut79 he sounds like the male version of me 😂 I used to send how’s your day, how was your day, what you up to tonight messages 🤦‍♀️. I think some
People just need validation the other is interested Still. But once you meet them and it’s all good then it does get less

This is the meme from late last year that made the most sense and I can't be bothered anymore

Myume - I feel like that too and I haven't been doing it long!

The sex wasn't great no with mr smile .

Whoever said about mr straight I realise both may be no good, but his home issue is kind of sorted now and he wants to meet Friday, and yesterday but I couldn't yesterday. It's a huge chunk of curiosity with him, we have chatted for so long so I need to see who this man is, if it goes ahead on friday.

I wasn't going to but after the red flags with mr smile I'm going to.

Another one to think about

@bangheadhere40 do you think it has potential because if it’s not then that’s another really good reason to not see him again!

@jane...love it!

@stuck, with mr smile you mean? I'm not sure just yet.

@bang the sex with me smile. Will it be anything other than not great?

@jane love it

bang it was me that messaged about mr straight - I think you should meet him but I just thought from your previous posts that he had been flakey in terms of lots of communication but struggling to meet with you. I completely think you should get him to commit to meeting you so that you can see if you get on in real life but if he still won't meet you then I think you're worth more x

Hey all. Bang there is nothing wrong with meeting up but don’t dive in too soon again and listen to your instincts and trust them!

I have been chatting to Mr 40Miles all day on and off - nothing deep all quite silly silly banter type chat, which is perfect.

@stuck it could be, he may just not know what to do, too early to call it. It's the over declarations of love which is too much too soon, I might just say that.

@coco, yes mr straight has now committed to this Friday.