But it was all virtual. He didn't meet me early on because he was away for a few weeks but when he came back he was supposed to meet me. so he let you down early on
Only he didn't. To cut it short: that was the first stage of him moving 100+ miles away for a minimum of 6-9 months. He hadn't told me this because he was scared I wouldn't talk to him any more. I was not impressed and said so and he really apologised said he liked me and that it would have to be long distance for the first few months but he still very much wanted to meet me. he lied to you. This is a BIG DEAL.
He was only 2 hours away so I agreed. We continued to talk and got on well. 2 hours is not long distance. It would take you about an hour or maybe 2 to see him. This is another excuse
Trying to cut it short he had a habit of not being so talkative and being flirty and vanishing. not the way you treat someone you say you like
Then it came out He had been unhappy in his career for a couple of years. again, hiding something from you or making something up?
His new contract was worse than the last. He was bullied by management. He has had anxiety all his life and he told me he has always been a bit of a wreck. you do not know if any of this is true
He sunk into depression and for the last few months has been partially off work, on medication and having therapy. I let him alone. Occasionally sent a how are you message. you don’t know if this is true and if it is, he isn’t ready for a RS if he is depressed
I was a bit upset as we had established we wanted the same things in life. We're open to a family, have so much in common. you don’t - he’s not trying to make a family happen at all he just says he wants it
I gave him so many outs that he did not take. I said to him does you not meeting me tells me what I need to know. He always said no, for what it is worth he still wants to meet me when he has recovered bit. this is so unfair to keep you hanging around
We finally met after several months when he was doing a bit better and the chemistry was there for real. No awkwardness and we got on so well. Holding hands and flowing conversation.
We on 3 lovely dates and he asked me the right questions as if planning a new future.
He was offered a new permanent job much closer to me. He even said you can commute to your job from here.
Only after being offered the job he had a nervous breakdown and suffering anxiety over starting it. He apologised to me for this.
I asked him if he wanted to meet again and he was noncommittal saying he didn't know what he was doing over Christmas.
I put my cards on the table and said I think you know how I'm going to have to take that.
Bottom line is he really does like me he said but is struggling with anxiety and depression and he backed away as he knows he needs to sort himself out. yes he does, and you can’t fix him
He apologised for upsetting me. again