Dating thread 180 - Deep thoughts on attachment styles, psychology and love bombing. (Oh my!)

[PerfectPretender]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@echoelephant that is what I did after Mr U. Went on the apps, got depressed and came off them. For 4 months. I'm still not 100% sure about being back on them but I'm feeling less cynical and more like actually meeting someone.. I don't know how others get back on so quickly, it doesn't work for me. Take a break if you need to. It's different for everyone. And Mr FO messed you around for quite a long time.

@Jane1978xx thanks, going to give that a go

@EchoElephant I swiped through 100 at a time in bored moments. I might have swiped 1 out of that 100. It only takes 1 after all.

It depends what mood I am in as to how many I will say yes to. I often try to guess if they swiped me first. I think this then leads to me swiping because its a safe bet (usually right)

@shitwithsugaron sounds like it's going really well, it's good if the conversations are getting deeper as well I think.

Why oh why can't I just meet Alex Turner and have him fall madly in love and write songs about me 😂

@YeahJackie he sounds like a massive game player these men who try to set you up for these kinds of relationships are never going to love you they're too busy loving themselves best to steer well clear. @TigerDater it's not that Mr pep isn't interested there's a physical and emotional connection between us definitely, I just think he's never going to ask me out because that's just who he is, he may surprise me and do it, but I think it's unlikely. But if anythings going to happen between us one of us needs to ask the other one out so it's going to have to be me, and the trouble is it's not something I really do either, I have only ever done it once before, with another guy like this, and it took ages for us to get together, two and a half years, and we were housemates, he would never have asked me out himself, some men are just like that I guess. But really that was the man I should have married. I left him for the man I did marry who turned out to be a narcissist hence the 17 years of single parenthood! anyway that's why I don't want to walk away from Mr pep there's definitely something there its just he's a follower not a leader and so am I but one of us is going to have to take the lead if anythings going to happen between us! I know this probably sounds really pathetic to those of you who have no problem asking men out!

Argh I’ve got into a chat with an iron I really like already. Over investing! He’s just my type - stocky, beardy and cute. His DC are slightly older than mine. He lives 40 miles away but there is no one left in my area anymore!

@menora 40 miles might be ok if it’s up the motorway or you could meet halfway easily

Hmm we were chatting and then he’s gone quiet after he asked me what I like doing in my spare time so perhaps he’s not that interested 😂

Yeah I think it’s 40 miles up a motorway. I live next to a motorway between 2 large UK cities in the SE

This guy is so bloody cute and hot but look at his profile statement 😂
He is Portuguese and lives like 2 miles away

I’ve seen worse. At least it doesn’t say well hung or something 😂😂

Err...yeah ?! that would probably put me off too @Menora , both good books though, The Power and The Secret.. worth a read!

I asked him what his top 3 dreams are
To be a singer
To travel the world
To have a farm

😂

I wish I could show you how fit he is 😂😂

This one could be called Mr Dreams. He’s not boring that’s for sure! And he’s clever too

I love those dreams, am I lame?

stillsexy I’m still confused though - if you haven’t met, how can there be a physical connection?

We know each other through work and have fancied the pants off each other for ages we're just both really shy!!!! Pathetic I know! I will sort it out I promise!

I love those dreams too!

So I have Mr History and Mr Dreams as my main irons.
I have something stupid like 37 matches in the last hour but I will never keep up with all those so I am trying to be a bit selective

I got straight back on the apps after Mr SAS but to be honest I knew it was over and although I was a bit gutted, we weren't right for each other long term so he just initiated the inevitable.

I went back on for a distraction/ego boost really and didn't really expect to swipe the next day on someone and have a proper relationship with them!

I have just had:
'Roses are red, violets are blue....I can't rhyme, but can I date you'
and a message calling me cutie..

bleurgh

I just had someone who went to Cunt College

I’ve got a confession that I have a massive random horn crush on someone at work. Completely professional relationship, he’s married and I would never ever act in any way unprofessional, I just could never. He is just So Cute. I am swiping on men that loll like him

The guy I like at work is single @Menora although I get chased about by a lot of the married guys too a lot of them seem to be in open relationships or up for having affairs ... neither of which appeal to me

My work crush is probably a bit of a complex as he is a doctor (outing myself 😂) and I contract him to work for my organisation. I had to work alone with him recently and he is just a real lovely cute gorgeous family man. I also had to call him in an emergency and he came dashing down to help and I basically had to take a moment to compose myself (obviously the person was ok 😂😂)
He has the nicest eyes. I’m a real sucker for eyes

I'm still at mr smiles house,I can't quite put my finger on it but something is not right. He is too confident, and overly happy and loud. I think I'm being silly but sometimes you can just feel something isn't right. I know I have a tendency to overthink but something doesn't feel right to me, can't put my finger on it.