Dating thread 180 - Deep thoughts on attachment styles, psychology and love bombing. (Oh my!)

[PerfectPretender]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn clearly mine isn’t that great either, to be fair

Actually it's not my judgment- it's what I choose to do about what is obvious and plain to see 😂

Ladies I am very new to the old scene. - I'm single but dipping a tie in to see what happens.
However I don't know the etiquette - I only signed up a day ago and already had 30 messages for men wanting to strike up conversation - lovely but I don't know how anyone does this? If I chat does that mean they think I'm into them or can it just be friendly chat for a bit to see? My profile is very short because at moment I'm being the flake and not exactly sure what I want out of it . Am I committing OLD faux pas? I've said hello to everyone 😱🙀

Hi SueDoeName, from my experience when you sign up there are desperadoes that message every new member so keep that in mind.

I only ever responded to those I was interested in, although I'm sure others will/do it differently

I already had one tattoo on my foot/ankle pre-split but got another one on my 40th birthday (about 8 months post split).

Back from Me Ad's now and I have to say, for the first time in almost 5 months, I am quite glad to be home.

I had a nice enough weekend but whether it's his meds (AD's) or another medical condition he has been known to have, he just can't stay awake at the moment so I spent a fair bit of the weekend a bit frustrated. I am not a dog nothing' kind of person and I don't do day time naps or sleeping in for hours, which is basically what he wanted/needed to do.

I've told him he should make an appt this week at the docs to try and get it sorted.

@Sunshineandflipflops ADs shouldn't make him tired. I've been on them for 20 odd years. Yes I know I mentioned I'm not an early riser but they don't cause sleepiness. You did say he was ill over the weekend, maybe it was that.

I have a good few chats going on bumble but not that interested in any of them so far. I must be so picky! I often find that by about message 6 I'm thinking, oh yeah. Not really for me.

@unambiguousbeard He takes them at night because they make him too tired in the day if he takes them in the morning but they also then make it difficult for him to wake up in the morning. I've suggested he speak to the gp about changing them to some which might not have this side effect. His thyroid had also been low/underactive in the past which can make him tired too so he is going to get that checked.

Antidepressants can make you tired, especially if you are new on then, it's a common side effect. Hopefully the GP can sort something.

I was on them for a short while years ago and was constantly needing to nap!

Hopefully his GP will be able to find a solution

Yeah, I trim and keep my bikini line neat (when I'm likely to be seeing some action) but don't have the time or the inclination to do much lore than that and the itchiness of the re-growth is waaaay too bad!

Fatigue and tiredness are a side effect of most SSRIs. How long has he been on them? It took me a good 6 months for the fatigue to go, sometimes it felt like really bad jet lag no matter how much I slept.

It has got to the point where I have had to print out profiles and have them next to me when answering messages - peri-menopausal brain anyone??

@Sunshineandflipflops. my ex is on ADs for a pain related condition and one lot he was given made him really, really bone-tired, he was so lethargic. It helped with the pain but he couldn't cope with the side effects.

Thanks all, he's been on them for years but stopped taking them for a while around the time he met me and then realised he needed to take them again so maybe that's had an effect.

Laughing at the thought that pube designs could indicate the type of relationship you're looking for 😂
I can just imagine suddenly seeing a design that makes me want to run for the hills but its now just a bit too late 😂

Oh ok! Just me that doesn't get tired on them then.... low thyroid will do it too. Although actually I don't even get tired/sleepy when my thyroid is on the floor. I'm clearly an anomaly.

Instead of pube designs how about a mirkin? That way you can have any design and colour!

@YeahJackie I had that so speech of the man I am seeing as he thought I had ‘feelings’ which I don’t really I’m just the organising and instigator with people generally. I think they say they don’t want to hurt you as they are worried for themselves. I said let’s just keep our time together in a bubble and not label it. Could you salvage it by just living in the moment with each other ?

Question to those who got straight back on the apps after a break up.
How did you do it?
I decided to have a look at tinder again today and ended up swiping left on 99% of them.
There were a lot that I've seen on there for years, some that I've chatted to before. And the rest were the usual collection - no photos, photos with their kids, sticking their tongue out etc etc.

I tried to be open minded, looked through all the photos and read the profile but no one grabbed my attention. I did a few half heartened right swipes then decided to just delete it.

I’ve got this cream you put on after shaving only a few £ and no itching or lumps 👍🏻.

🤣🤣

that was re mirkin btw - not laughing at anyone!!

@Jane1978xx oooh what cream is it? I need this in my life!

God what is going on here? 😂 pubes?
I take off the underneath and sides only. I don’t like it full all over. Don’t care what a guy would like

IBS has been horrendous recently so I have been quiet. Back on Bumble. Am getting a lot of matches but I do take these with a pinch of salt, I know that guys swipe on most women 😂. My profile picture is nice too - no filter but I’m wearing make up and I have got quite good at putting it on!

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn. It’s femfresh post shave balm. I don’t normally agree with the femfresh stuff but this is just cream for post shave. There is also a shower shave cream.