@TheBlueStocking having control over your life including relatively minor decisions such as what to eat is a pre requisite to being psychologically healthy. That is obviously a simple way of putting it, but if you don't accept that you could look into it yourself, look into why it is thought that, look into the significance of choices, what it is considered to mean to be psychologically healthy.
I wonder whether for some subs who have powerful jobs it roots back to childhood, being given the narrative that one could not be a powerful person who makes "high profile" decisions all the time - ALL the time - and so though some subs have fallen naturally into a career where they have control and power, they feel they need to offset it a bit in their private life by being sub in their private life. I have no idea whether this applies to you, obviously, but your phrase "ugh that is disgusting" does sound childlike to me as though this is part of harking back. I may have gone over the line in saying that though, if so apologies.
The women I know who have teetered on the edge of sub have done so because they were sexually abused as children and they associated sex and relationships with being sub. Some then broke through that by changing how they thought about things consciously - setting new pathways meaning that they went on to see sex as an equal thing, getting rid of the d/s narrative entirely.
I wonder if any kind of kink is to do with avoiding emotional intimacy as I cannot see how you can have both at the same time, in any genuine sense - how can you deeply love someone and want the best for them and still enjoy subjugating them? Or people who have been brought up to not even know what emotional intimacy is, like a pp said, being attracted to this lifestyle because of its familiarity, not realising what they are missing out on.
I don't think that this is about feminism, it is about humanity, free will, respect for ourselves and others. Many adults make unhealthy choices - smoking, alchohol, too much food - and i am not going to judge at all if both are consenting adults. If someone told me eating something bad for me is not healthy choice I would ignore them. Though not every unhealthy choice is born equal obviously.
As for the past - men being men, women being women - up until relatively recently in our culture women could not do certain jobs, own property, vote, be educated beyond a certain level - back in the day when you think it was not taboo - and you are wrong, historically, I feel - you would have had no choice but to be subjugated to some extent - in fact, instead it was taboo to question that and want an education and a high pressure career.
So bottom line - it is your choice, it may be something to do with you wanting control even, same as your choice of career. But I would die a thousand deaths if my dc chose either d or s, I would see it as my fault and that i had failed them. Maybe I am more judgemental than I thought I was.