The Happy Singleton - All welcome!

[SirChing]

Hello, following a thread where I discussed how happy and excited I was to have consciously decided to be single for 2020, it seems there are loads of us out there: People who are single through choice and happy about it.

Some plan on being single forever, some for a shorter time, but none of us are dating or want to date at the moment. We are too busy focusing on the important things in life: us!

This is a thread for anyone who wants to join it, to support and encourage each other, to discuss what we have or hope to learn by being single, and to discuss random practical stuff, like which companies don't charge single supplements for holidays.

Come on in and pull up a chair if you fancy a chat.

Happy 2020 all

I'm not yet happily single. I want my ex back so much it hurts.

But I was happily single for years before he came along and I will be again. I don't know if I want to be single forever, but I certainly don't want to date again any time soon.

It is nice not having him moaning about the DC being dc. And I get all the duvets to myself. And no one talking over Corrie

Hi @NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace Loving the vibes on here!

@Porpentina I’m sure there’s more you could add to the list Sorry to hear you are hurting. You will get there.

Lovely to see you; wish you a fab 2020

So good to see you! Happy new year to you too

SirChing - Northerner here too!

@TwilightPeace I'm sure I could! I'm mostly done and then I remember hes gone and ouch pain. But then I think of all the positives (ds2 is a lot happier. I didn't realise how unhappy he was becoming) and try and focus on those.

Anyway. Cheers. And here's to happy single 2020

Love this thread, can I join you? that article really resonated with me too.
Separated last year and I probably too quickly ended up in a 6 month relationship with a lovely but quite full on man. After having no intimacy in my marriage I revelled in this new found attention. We split up and are now on a more casual basis (my choice) but he wants more commitment but I really feel I don't want the hassle!
He had financial problems and I felt guilty if I wanted to treat myself to new shoes/meal out with friends as that money would have bought him founds/bills. Thankfully I don't think like that now and treat myself and son when money allows it!
My ideal scenario is meeting once/twice a week for a meal and company but with no commitment or demands what so ever.

Evening beauts!

Hugs to all of you who would like one 💙

As someone said further up the thread (sorry, phone is slow and ancient and my short term memory is appalling!) this thread is making me really appreciate some stuff I was totally taking for granted - I forget to celebrate the things singlehood gives me.

So... Night owlishness, toast for dinner, taking two hours to wake up properly, having a mattress that fits what I want rather than a compromise of two very different people, amazing friends who are huggy and with whom I have long intimate chats, ridiculous but wonderful cats, hanging out in my PJs, cooking exactly what I fancy for dinner, never having to deal with in-laws, having rainbow hair (my last boyfriend hated "unnatural colour hair" and as mine is never less than three different colours at once, we were clearly not well suited!), the list is endless!

What do your weeks hold? I have some clients to see and a massive stack of admin to do, plus really want to finish my 2020 planning, and out with some friends for dinner Monday night.

Evening everyone, and welcome to even more newbies!

@PorpentinaScamander I bet you get to the point where you think that your ex is an absolute tosser, especially if he made your DC unhappy. My alki ex did that with my DD. He was mean to her when he didn't think I could hear him. Horrible man. I was sad at first but rapidly lost all feelings when I realised just how horrible he was. Git!

@JacquesHammer Yippee, another Northerner. Where are you? I am in West Yorkshire.

@undercoveraessedai your hair sounds cool!

@Rainydayss That bloke you were seeing sounds like a right drain. Glad you have got out of it.

Thanks @SirChin annoyingly he wasn't/isn't a horrible person. Hes just not suited to be a step parent to teens (not surprised. Teens can be horrible). He did have a lot of bad habits though. I keep reminding myself of them.

@PorpentinaScamander Well, you're a package deal so if he isn't right for them, then you would always have felt torn. I bet he had loads of bad habits - he was a man and breathing for starters

(That was a joke, male singletons - I adore men, I just don't want one at the moment!)

Exactly. Shame it took him 2.5 years to decide he didn't want them. But we are better off without him. Yes him breathing was always an issue

ooh is this like a nice pub?

Single forever now. Sometimes life is very very hard and being single is the only thing that gets me through. As a pp said, knowing I can close the door to my home and only I'm here....and the fact that relationships are such a drain and so unrewarding.

I'm also childfree which is terrific.

@RuffleCrow how are you getting on? I hope you're feeling a bit happier?

@TheStoic I hope today is a little easier for you

I'm North Yorkshire, SirChing!

DD1 was staying this weekend to help clear out the house, and when I got back from work just now she was gone. I had a brief moment of 'awww', going in to a quiet house again, but it only lasted a millisecond before I put my slippers on and sat down with a nice cup of tea and doggy cuddles.

No more getting home from a late shift to someone who had no conversation and expected me to come in and be sociable after a long shift with people in my face. The dog doesn't care if I don't want to talk!

Yay, Zaphod! I knew there must be some of us fairly local to each other.

I feel your pain about coming off a late shift and being expected to talk. Nope, I used to be all talked out by that point, and just want a cup of tea and to stare at the telly. It might seem like a small demand they were making, but I used to find it selfish - like I was there for their entertainment.

I spent the best part of 10 years single, I really miss sleep alone these days.

I hated having to talk after work. Even on the phone!

I love talking after work! My exP has the same job as me. My exH would not allow me to talk about work at all, didn’t want to know. My exP and I, being in the same field, always talked about work. We still text each other with work stuff, feels good to offload to someone who gets it.
Day off for me today, gym, running club and house chores:)

Not sure if this is for me or not... But I'm about to become single with a young toddler and bricking it.
Thanks for being inspiring though x

@Oggden1 my DS was 10 months old when I split with my ex. It's daunting at first but you will be fine.

I've been single for almost 4 years, if I ever did get into a relationship I wouldn't ever live with a man again.

Thanks. I'm fine financially and practically as I'm competent ish.
I just am a bit daunted by the whole thing. X

After 20 years together ( for 10 of those I have been trying to "cure" his depression) we are separating. It's very sad and I do not relish the fight over our property but I am starting to consider the positives. Teenage DS has suffered from the very toxic atmosphere so I think even he is cautiously optimistic.
As an older MN member I do wonder if I will now be single for the rest of my life. It will be nice to not be walking on eggshells every day though.

Not sure if this has been said but apparently the happiest people are single women and married men!

I get the eggshells thing and not responsible for someone else's stuff.
I think I will be single for a very long time, I can't even imagine wanting to date esp with a toddler