The Happy Singleton - All welcome!

[SirChing]

Hello, following a thread where I discussed how happy and excited I was to have consciously decided to be single for 2020, it seems there are loads of us out there: People who are single through choice and happy about it.

Some plan on being single forever, some for a shorter time, but none of us are dating or want to date at the moment. We are too busy focusing on the important things in life: us!

This is a thread for anyone who wants to join it, to support and encourage each other, to discuss what we have or hope to learn by being single, and to discuss random practical stuff, like which companies don't charge single supplements for holidays.

Come on in and pull up a chair if you fancy a chat.

Happy 2020 all

@lifegoes definitely save up and go on a cruise! I went on two last year with my ex but there were lots of single people onboard. There was a lone traveller’s host who organised group meals and activities for those holidaying alone who wanted to join in with others. There was also so much going on that even those in couples would often split up and go off and do stuff separately so there were plenty of people to talk to. The crew were really friendly and the entertainment hosts would make sure everyone was included. You can join in with as much or as little as you want.

There you go @lifegoes! First hand experience from @olive122. You’ll be eating at the Captains table before you know it (you can take that as a euphemism if you like )

@SirChing yes I was so sorry to hear the news too. My teen DD came into the room with the news and we had a wee chat about life and stuff. And I heard a little quote today on trusty Radio 4 - it’s a long term solution to a temporary problem. Easier said than done but all that hurt and sadness . Awful

Evening lovelies. Yes- so sad about Caroline Flack. I'm not a big telly person, but regardless - no one should ever feel that helpless.

@lifegoes ooooh! A cruise! I went on a couple when I was married and loved them! You should. Best thing was waking up in a new country every day.

I've been doing house setting up this weekend. I've put a photo of my efforts below. Little squiff but not bad for a first attempt! I also had my dinner with my lovely bloke mate last night. A real treat as we went to the ivy. If only I could fancy him- but I just don't 🤣! It was a great evening. But driving in those winds was awful 😕

Going to make some dinner and iron, and try and be in bed at a reasonably sensible time!

@mildlymiffed love your photo. Great result (can you come and do my house?)

Oh wow @Olive122 thank you for that insight, it's made me so excited. I'm going to look now and get saving.

Hahaha @Upyerbum70 I might try that, what happens on the cruise stays on the cruise right 😉

Such sad news about Caroline, it really knocked me yesterday. Same age and I always seemed to relate to her. I hate thinking of someone so low, that their only way out is death. Terrible.

Ohhh @mildlymiffed I love your room. It looks lovely. I really love those draws.

@lifegoes definitely save up and go on a cruise. My mum is sometimes a guest speaker with Cruise & Maritime. Apparently they are a smaller company who are quite nice. @Olive122 who did you go with? I quite fancy it too.

@Upyerbum70 every time I see your username it makes me giggle. With your positive posts too, thank you for being a spark of fun on our thread.

@mildlymiffed That's looking great! My whole house needs decorating. Theres a job here for you if you want it xx

Oh thank you @SirChing I'll have a look.

That's one thing I found when looking last night the price really increases up when you are travelling on your own. Better get my saving head on

@SirChing @lifegoes I went with Marella Cruises, part of Tui. I Picked them as they had the itinerary I wanted, the ships aren’t overwhelmingly large and it’s completely all inclusive including tips. It was my first Cruise in January last year for my 40th birthday and I went on a cruise around the Far East on the Discovery ship. I loved it so much that ended up booking to go again in October around Greece and the med on the Explorer 2.

I’m sure some of the other lines offer a more luxurious service and the facilities on the massive US lines look incredible but we had a fantastic time. I really liked that there were no set times for the evening meals in the main dining room, you just turn up when you’re ready and let them know if you want a table of your own or are happy to share a larger table with others.

There is so much choice of ships and cruise lines I’m sure you’ll find one to suit you!

Thank you @Olive122 that sounds amazing. I'm happy going on a smaller cruise ship. It's all about what you make of it anyway.

Also wanted to say that cruises aren't necessarily all couples, I went with my Mum, and there were lots of groups of friends, some people on their own, others obviously with a friend rather than partner.

Loving your picture @Mildlymiffed, it looks fab!

Oooh now I really want to go on a cruise too! Should we have a thread holiday.....though that defeats the point of going on our own.....but it would be fun!

Ha. Yes let's all just go.

@lifegoes maybe not on those ships stranded off Japan with coronavirus though.......

Yes! When the cruise ship petri-dish analogies die down... then woo-hoo- singletons sail off into the sunset!

Haha no maybe not those @SirChing

I keep reading posts on dating and relationships on MN. I know it's awful, but it keeps reminding me how pleased I am, I'm single and really enjoying things around me. Rather than being caught up in heartache/situations.

Does anyone else feel more motivated when single? As in just feeling more full of life?!

I do feel more motivated when I am single. It's like the world is my oyster. Which also, weirdly, makes me feel younger too.

@mildlymiffed yippee, would seriously LOVE to go away with a group of singles. Spend time on our own when we want, meet up when we want. No pressure, no stress. Bliss! And cocktails!!!!

:) whilst I’m enjoying solitude and being single (I genuinely have no qualms about any aspect of it), I also know that the elderly suffer tremendously of loneliness. And nothing hits you like having to have an operation and there’s no one that can stay with you for the night. That must be hard, if you’re not fit enough comparing to your usual.
I have a dog, this elderly lady stopped me in the street to admire her and said she can’t have a dog because she can’t bend anymore to feed and leash the dog. Shit, man, that’s hard. And she has no one, she goes out once a week and the only people she talks to are the shop assistants. She was quite matter of fact about it.
I’m not saying that what they’re missing is a spouse, but there isn’t a lot of community stuff going on to alleviate loneliness.
Maybe that’s something we could get involved a bit more, a community project of some sort.
We’re the lucky ones, we’re still young, we have earning capacity and we have enough health to function independently.

Anyway, sorry, I’m just thinking out loud, it marked me, that meeting.

That's so sad @BuddhaAtSea We DO need to make communities for ourselves. I truly think communal living will become more the norm in years ahead. It makes so much sense. As does inter-generational living. I do think we will go back to that as house prices and childcare costs are so high.

The way we live now - either alone or nuclear families, is a relatively new thing I think. And is generally not all that great in terms of support and pressure. I think we need to come together in new ways to solve the issues.

It also depends where you live. I live in a lovely little market town 10.miles outside of Leeds. There is so much community stuff going on here that it's unbelievable. But that's because younger people have got off their bums and made it happen. When I first moved here, it was an older population and nothing was going on. Now, it's commuter land and there is so much for people of all ages, with lots for the elderly. We just all have to do our bit.

Oh @BuddhaAtSea that is really sad.

My son's girlfriend volunteers at a local group (I don't know what it's called) but it's about keeping the elderly company. She has 4 people she goes and visits once a fortnight. Just for an hour or two. She sits and chats to them often gets some shopping for them. She takes her dog with her. She says they love her dog more than her 😂😂

I thought they must run these types of groups all over. But maybe they don't. But it's a great gesture of caring. It's for all ages and you have to fully checked out. But you can volunteer for as many hours as you like.

@lifegoes that's lovely of your sons girlfriend to do that. It sounds like he has chosen well with her.

I think that's the thing that concerns me about getting older. I'm only in my mid 40s and I can't help but wonder what friends I will have to chat to when I'm elderly. Too many people I know are so couple orientated that they don't think about their single friends and I've never had a big group of close friends. My closest friend doesn't leave his house much.

Even now at my age I feel as if I don't get in touch to organise things, no one else would bother to contact me. Can you tell I'm in a low mood today...

@Mulberry974 I hear what you're saying and agree. I am hugely sociable, but the majority of that is my making. I do wonder if I didn't jump in and make plans if others would remember me!

I don't want to be old and lonely- but I don't want to dwell on it either. I don't know what the future holds, and so can't be worrying about the maybes. By the time I'm old, maybe there will be another widowed or single friend who may like to share somewhere! I think that would be a nice arrangement!

I'm not in the greatest of moods either. I'm still pouring money into my new house. Having just got the shower fixed, I now have electrical issues... joy! I do love the house, but it is testing me. I did actually have an out loud word the other day asking it to give me a break. I can't keep working from home either, so it does need to calm down!

@Mulberry974 I feel like that sometimes too. I am naturally an introvert so find lots of socialising tiring. But @mildlymiffed is right - anything can happen between now and then. Think how much has happened in the last 40 year. You have the same again before you get old. A whole other life. Lots of time for things to change and to build a life the way you want it. Maybe starting with some new and better friends who make you feel valued more.

@mildlymiffed so sorry the house is giving you grief. There are always teething issues in new places I find. But once sorted, I bet you will really enjoy your new home xx

@mulberry974 @sirching I realise that I sounded a little glib. Sorry... it is a worry... but I really have to hope for everyone and for me that I don't become the lonely woman. (I suspect that I might though... I am becoming less and less tolerant the older I get. And worry that grumpiness will just accumulate into old age and deter anyone from wanting to shack up with me- platonic or otherwise!). For now though, I have to focus on the present!!