The Happy Singleton - All welcome!

[SirChing]

Hello, following a thread where I discussed how happy and excited I was to have consciously decided to be single for 2020, it seems there are loads of us out there: People who are single through choice and happy about it.

Some plan on being single forever, some for a shorter time, but none of us are dating or want to date at the moment. We are too busy focusing on the important things in life: us!

This is a thread for anyone who wants to join it, to support and encourage each other, to discuss what we have or hope to learn by being single, and to discuss random practical stuff, like which companies don't charge single supplements for holidays.

Come on in and pull up a chair if you fancy a chat.

Happy 2020 all

@Misty9 Aw thank you. The thing is with Valentine's Day though, it doesn't celebrate real marriages and relationships. It flogs the Disney version of them. So it's bollocks. Plus, how can we ever trust something with the initals VD?

My ex has shown his new GF who he is for the first time - he bought her a card and some chocolates and promptly forgot to take them to her when he went for dinner. He said it was because he was rushing to mine first to feed my cat (I.am at my mum's for a few days). No doubt that will have gone down like a sack of shit. He said it's the thought that counts - I agree which is why he pissed me off by seldom thinking The poor lass will learn soon enough, no doubt.

I found out that my mystery Valentine's card is from my FWB. Which is quite sweet. He said he wanted to send flowers but thought I may find it a bit much. Glad he didnt as they would be wilting on the step! Nice of him though, considering I got him SFA.

Happy V-day (not VD day 😂) my lovelies. Well, we may be single- but that makes us a special tribe, and love to you all!

I went round to a girl mates. Cooked us a spag Bol. It was yum. I also had a message from one of Ex-boyf's mates saying that they miss me and that they understood how hard it was for me! Was sweet, and made me realise that it really was ex-b who was the knob-end and not me! Yee-hah for exoneration!

Long week at work, and with my leaky house. But it's all okay today. No card... but I did get ds one and a little box of jelly sweets 🥰.

@SirChing hope you're getting some well earned rest at your mums.

@upyerbum70 your colleague sounds like a prize Twat. Hope she has an epiphany moment and has a word with herself.

@zaphodsotherhead hope the scan was okay?

@misty9 - think we are the smart women... at least that's what I'm telling myself!

Happy weekends to you all x

@mildlymiffed That sounds like a lovely VDay you have had. Especially the confirmation that it was your ex who was a twat. You shouldn't ever have doubted yourself though - it was obvious from what you said here that it was always him, not you.

The spag bol sounds lovely! I asked my DD about "boyfriends" as some of her friends have them (supposedly) despite being 9. She declared "no mummy, I am proudly single and concentrating on having fun with my friends". I may have done a small air punch out of pride. But then I did bring her up telling her that it was wrong for the Prince to kiss Snow White and Sleeping Beauty because they didn't say he could and they were asleep. So she has been introduced to firm boundaries early on (I am such a parenting fun sponge! )

Apologies for the early rant. And thank you for your all words of sense! (And the gag @sirching- so bloody tempted) 😆

Boss will be having a word with her (gluing her lips together) and I’m seconded to another team next week but it’s a good opportunity for me so I’m happy and the boss thinks it’ll give me a breather.

Anyway me and my lovely DDs had our Valentine’s Chinese and a sofa Snuggle. Now it’s judt me, the cat, the fire and random cookery programmes.

I hope you’re all enjoying your own company, with books, choc, wine and whatever else floats your boat. Enjoy

😂happy galentines!!!
It’s a new one on me, never heard of it until now :)
I did he same, fakeaway in the sofa with DD, the cat and the dog. DD was upset she was unexpectedly single on Valentines this year, I was rejoicing my singledom 😂. I saw my ex while I was walking the dog this evening and it made me really happy I’m not with him anymore. So all good. My parkrun’s been cancelled!!! So I’m going to body pump and a swim in the morning. Then chores at home, then rest, because I am working Sunday.

PS. I had tonnes of chocolate today. And I mean tonnes. I need to stop, it’s not good for me.

@buddha but all that exercise! You can eat the choc 😇

Single life is my hobby!

@Upyerbum70 sugar makes me feel awful, anxiety like awful. But someone opened a box of Quality Streets and that was that, we all stuffed our faces silly. I like a bit of chocolate with my coffee in the afternoon, but that was ...I ate all the green triangles and a couple of orange ones. And strawberry.

Oh @SirChing, I just realised I read your post but never got the chance to reply. I’m so sorry my lovely :( that’s just awful!!!!

This is definitely my thread! It's the first time I've seen such a big thread on the bliss and joy of being single.

I have been single coming up for two years and managed to get divorced in that time. If you are familiar with divorce law, you'll realise that divorce within two years = very shit marriage.

I feel so liberated, euphoric and energetic. My ex-h is an emotional vampire who sucked all the joy out of everything. He would be back here in a shot if I let him (for the, in his words, "perks", rather than anything else) but I'd rather shave my eyeballs than ever live in the same house as that man again.

For the first time in years I really enjoy my life again, and yet, when people talk to me it's almost like they think I'm making my happiness up to seem 'strong'. Like nobody believes you could possibly be this happy after divorce. True, I am a single mum now and it is hard but it's a feck load easier than it was as a non-single mum.

For the first time in years I can go out with my friends (not that I've any left - gradually trying to rebuild relationships), go where I want, when I want. I get EOW free to amuse myself after many years of doing it all alone within my marriage.

I even went away to Spain for a few days in the summer holidays when ex-h had the children for a week. That was an experience!

I do struggle with eating out alone (I don't do it). I'd love to go out more but have no real friends after my marriage apart from one (who is happily married and not a goer-outer much anymore). I did join meetup and went to two social groups but nearly everyone there was a good 15 years older than me. It felt like going out with my mum and aunt!

That being said, I love my own company. My life is full and rich. I have a large garden, allotment, two small children, work, a business and a house to keep me occupied. There is no room for another man because it would mean once again sacrificing something that I love and I've done enough sacrifice over the years of my crap marriage.

Hey hope it's ok to join.

After a terrible year of dating in 2019 and few bad relationships before that. I've decided to stay single for a good while. I've had months/years previously of being single. But that was mainly down to focusing on bringing up my son.

So It's nice to finally focus on me, my son is fully up and has his own life. I've just turned 40. It feels the right time.

It's inspiring reading the posts on here

@lifegoes & @pascalstriangle welcome welcome welcome! Pleased to have you here.

@pascalstriangle you can leave your eyeballs in tact... and not have to take the twassock back. Win win! I'm sorry to hear about you lack of friends, but I'm sure you'll rebuild your friendship circles. ...my Meetup experiences were similar- but not unpleasant! Most of my friends in everyday life are married... but, and sadly, there are more joining the single fold. I am extremely jealous of your allotment. I had one years ago, but too much time at work meant that it went to rack and ruin and back to the Council 😕...

@lifegoes I'm not sure why dating is so terrible but it was similar for me when I gave it a whirl. Hard to find like-minded blokes out there. I think for now being single is the way forward. And I like my small talk with myself, and my ds, better then I liked it with random internet strangers!

@pascalstriangle I laughed hard at ‘rather shave my eyeballs’ comment. Totally understand. I was wallpaper to my ex. Just ‘there’. Now we are all in charge of our own time, month and destiny (and teeth 😆).

Glad you escaped to Spain last year - I did exactly the same. I visited an old friend - she’s moved to Barcelona (we arrived back to her flat after eating out to discover she’d been burgled - hey ho)

Sounds like you have tons of good stuff going on. I’d take an allotment over a bloke any day

Thank you @mildlymiffed I gave online dating a go. I ended up with 3 guys who turned out to be in "happy" relationships. Even tho they were asked numerous times. It really put me off online dating.

One thing I've learnt is how happy I am, when I'm single. Nobody to think about, nobody playing games etc. I think someone said it on here, but I feel liberated too.

All my friends are married or in relationships and they seem to push the idea, that I need to be. But I'm at my best when I'm single (that may sound bad) I'm fully focussed and just content.

I often chat to myself too 😂😂.

Anyone done a holiday on their own? It's something I've really wanted to do and contemplating it this year. Just wondering if you did and ideas of where to go, that's at least somewhere you feel safe on your own.

@lifegoes - I’ve always harboured the idea of learning sailing - I fantasise about a fortnights holiday on a boat off the Dalmatian coast. I’m not at all sporty (or rich!) but I think it’d be safe ish. Maybe there are all female courses. Where do you fancy going?

Oh you should do that @Upyerbum70 I bet there are courses for it. You'll meet some great people doing it.

I've wanted to do a cruise, only because I quite like the idea of going to loads of different places. I love city breaks and sun holidays. My friends think it's a bad idea because it will be all couples. But I actually don't care 😂😂.
Just cruises can be so expensive, so maybe a city break or summer holiday.

I wandered round Barcelona on my own while my friend had bit and pieces to sort for work . Felt completely safe though it was in the daytime. I work in emergency services though so I may have a higher threshold as I deal with shit all day long - makes my friends freak a bit (and I make sure I don’t tell them the worst bits).

Happy V day ladies! I went out to a dessert restaurant last night for Palentines with a bunch of friends (this was new to me to call it that but can highly recommend dessert followed by dessert!!)

Today is my six year singleversary so celebrated with lunch out followed by a nap - I am super cool 🤣

You're made me think @Upyerbum70 I'd be quite happy doing that. It's def gave me food for thought about city breaks now.

@undercoveraessedai that sounds like my type of restaurant and congrats on the 6 years

Start saving for that cruise and go next year. I bet there’ll be plenty of people to speak to - even the most loved up couples like to talk to others, some might even be grateful! get yourself a city break for this year. Win win! You think you could persuade a friend or two to accompany you?

I’ve rented some pretty lovely cottages too (better than my home anyway) with my DDs. But I’d be very happy doing it on my own. By the sea. Chips. Radio 4. No brainer.

Yeah I could get friends to come, but I'm really wanting to go on my own.

So many great ideas thank you @Upyerbum70

@undercoveraessedai happy 6 years

@undercoveraessedai pudding, followed by pudding, 6 years of singledom and a nap. Now you’re talking. My idea of heaven.

Afternoon peeps! i hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. Just had a little cry at Laura Whitmore's tribute to Caroline Flack on the radio - it just shows that relationships are never easy and what seems to be the case on first appearances is often very different underneath.

I hope everyone on this thread is ok, and knows that no matter how hard life gets, there are always people who care and will help you to get back up no matter how far you fall.

Lots and lots of love to all my single newfound friends