The Happy Singleton - All welcome!

[SirChing]

Hello, following a thread where I discussed how happy and excited I was to have consciously decided to be single for 2020, it seems there are loads of us out there: People who are single through choice and happy about it.

Some plan on being single forever, some for a shorter time, but none of us are dating or want to date at the moment. We are too busy focusing on the important things in life: us!

This is a thread for anyone who wants to join it, to support and encourage each other, to discuss what we have or hope to learn by being single, and to discuss random practical stuff, like which companies don't charge single supplements for holidays.

Come on in and pull up a chair if you fancy a chat.

Happy 2020 all

@ExohExohGossipgirl @mildlymiffed @Accidentalaccountant

If You change your mind you are all welcome on the FB group. I won't let there be any bullying whatsoever. I would delete and block anyone who did that. People can only join via me, and it's a closed group so pretty safe. Totally up to you but the offer is always there

@Kernowgal always room for more. Not sure if you are on the FB group but if you aren't then feel free to join.

It's amazing that some of those in relationships slightly hanker after their old single lives. I wonder if, in the future, society will be set up differently?

My mum always used to say that women should live with women and men with men, and we should have some kind of facility in the middle for sex . I am starting to think she had a point!

@lorettalemon that's so inspiring! You sound like you have a great life. I can totally understand you not wanting to change it for anyone who isn't exceptional.

Hopefully more women being happily single will make men pull their socks up a bit (or a lot, ideally!). Once they have got over the current incel thing, and realised that being angry and demanding doesn't work, they may realise that they have to (sharp intake of breath) IMPROVE themselves to be a better prospect for women. I live in hope.

But then again, recent events show that my hope and benefit of the doubt is woefully misplaced. So maybe men won't bother to change, and will just repeat old behaviour in trying to attract women. Like flies bashing against a window looking for an exit. Except hairier and less emotionally developed

@SirChing

Entirely up to you. If he’s sloped off with his tail between his legs and isn’t harassing anyone at the moment, then maybe leave him be. Unless he starts up again.

He’s not on the thread to empathise and support other singletons to be happy, he’s here to be a sleaze (although too deluded to realise that’s how he comes across to women, probably thinks he’s doing anyone he chats up/attempts phone sex with, a favour, as we’re all desperate for some male attention 😂).

My friends and I have often been of the same opinion as your mum, SirChing. Women together in groups tend to be supportive and sharing of tasks (from my experience of living in groups), whilst those that include men seem to always end up with the men making excuses while the women pick up the slack.

I don't think I've ever lived with a man (and I've lived with a few) who have seen mess and voluntarily tidied it away without having to make a big song and dance about it, or who have cooked dinner, washed up, put the kids to bed as a matter of course, not because they are expecting 'rewarding'.

Maybe I've been unlucky, or maybe it's my generation. I don't know. But I know I would happily share with another woman again, rather than a man.

Just requested to join your group on fb - VH with black cat profile pic. You can set it up so we would have to answer questions to join - might be easier to keep on top of?

As an aside... Chocolate cake?!??? Why would you spoil the two best things (barring cats) ie chocolate and cake by mixing them up. Separate = twice as much bliss!

I've clicked to join as well. Pic of me and my DD. Filtered with bunny ears!!

Hiya can i join, 30, from cardiff...happily single as of this week, ditched the dead weight after being ghosted for calling him out on speaking to me like crap (previously left an abusive relationship).

I would happily take 2020 to focus on me, my son and work/uni, no more devil dick for me this year. I've also managed to win 6 weeks of PT so this has all happened at the right time and i've set some fitness goals by the end of the year to focus on.

I have sent a request to the fb group (my profile picture is just me lol)

Devil dick

Adding devil dick to my vocab, it will come in handy on my current "man-van"!

I have just announced to my friends that we now have a new term to use in devil dick

Ladies,

Loving this thread.

Did you know that Single ladies live longer than married ladies?

Makes sense doesn't it? And the reverse is true for men. Married men live longer than single men.

One more reason, along with many others, for celebrating your single life.

I'm happily single 9 years, live living on my own. Will never live with a guy again. Love doing what I want, when I want.

Last night, I ate a whole bag of chilli peanuts for dinner, watching Spanish subtitled drama.

x

@HeyLala

Sounds like a great night in!

My kids have gone off to a birthday party for the day and I mean THE DAY! They went at 12, will be back at 6 so I have just cracked open a beer and the cheese balls and am going to do NOTHING for the next hour!

@sirching
It's often the little things that make the biggest difference - like when you feel good choosing what food to buy and think "I could pick literally anything I like" or if you're binge watching something and you think "you know what, I will stay up all night and watch the rest of this." Then other things like not being disturbed when you're asleep by someone walking around or snoring and probably the biggest one for me - when I get home i know there's no one miserable (waiting to bring me down) sitting in there and it won't be a pigsty and even now I still get this slight flutter in my heart as I put my key in the door and I feel excited to be finally free

The horror of this thread:

What’s your most irritating thing about OLD? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3793402-What-s-your-most-irritating-thing-about-OLD

Yeh...think I'll give it a miss thanks!!

I've never tried OLD. Stories from friends have put me off for life!

I was just on that thread, Thelma. Just made me doubly certain that I am never going there again. OLD, I mean, not that thread.

I'm sure, back in my younger day, that men used to be more respectful and less....I dunno, entitled? I'm sure they used to be grateful that a woman thought them worth giving the time of day to, not all this 'talking to ten women at a time and sleeping with as many as possible'. Maybe I'm just looking through rose tinted specs, but I really don't think OLD is always a good thing.

And that's speaking as someone who found her last two partners online.

I don't want to click on that link. Downside ill with fluey bug and no one here but then also. No competitive illness. No one making hot drinks with a sigh and doing basic household tasks with a Marty air. Am in the bath with a glass of wine. Kill or cure. If I don't post for 3 days contact mn hq. The dog will need feeding. X

Evening all! Had a shitty migraine all weekend so haven't been around.

That OLD thread looks horrific. I think I shall avoid like the plague.

My married "friend" has been sniffing around me for a shag again. Nope! Apparently he is planning on leaving his DW now. Yeah, whatever. I will believe that when I see it. Even if he did, it would still be a nope from me, as I know precisely what he has been up to for the past couple of years, and I am under zero illusion that he will ever change.

My exH has got himself a new woman, and she sounds lovely, which is great. She doesn't mind that we get on well still, and is fine that our DD has autism. All I care about is that she is a nice and good person to my DD (if they meet) and my ex. Or I will have to kill her. Sound fair?

I am meeting up.with my FWB on Tuesday for another cuppa, and to arrange when the actual sex meet ups will be. I am getting him to take me to a hotel for the first time. Feels a bit safer somehow. After that, he can come to mine.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend?

AccidentalAccountant - that's a good point. Being ill, when alone, isn't a lot of fun. I was hospitalised suddenly back in June, luckily I have adult children who rushed to mind my animals, but it is a worry! Before I went into hospital I'd spent about a week feeling ropey and I did briefly wonder how long it would be before anyone missed me.

Mind you there's quite a lot of meat on me, the dog would be fine for a good fortnight.

Hi all :) I

I've been single for a while now- I have an occasional FWB who's also one of my best friends, but haven't felt like much sex with other people recently- partly due to body image issues- have put on a bit of weight- can't stop eating, and love my Prosecco :)

I don't currently feel the need for a relationship. I decided recently that I never want to live with anyone (due to past issues with moody men, including my dad) and am completely happy with that decision.

Recently I've got a bit more direction in my life after over a year focusing solely on trying to improve myself through therapy. I joined the Freedom Programme (thanks Mumsnet for letting me know about it) partly for my own interest, although most men I've been with have been dodgy in one respect or another, and I also wanted to learn red flags. Now I'm doing a few courses on mental health/counselling, partly to try and improve my interpersonal skills (I have ADHD with autistic features, which was only diagnosed a year or so ago.) I'm in my 40s.

Am still currently seeing a psychologist, which I actually love. EMDR has been the best therapy I think, and I haven't even had the amount of trauma a lot of women experience, so I think it would help a lot of people- would recommend. The main thing I'm working on at the moment is self-esteem, which is an issue due to the bullying/rejection I've experienced throughout my life due to not being socially skillful.

My other hobby is Pokemon Go- would never have thought any modern computer game would be my thing, but my FWB introduced me to it in August and I became totally hooked!! If anyone wants to add my baby account (I have 2, it helps with raiding- sssh) please do. Trainer Code=6534 7386 9513. (I made this account and tried to get my dad playing when I visited, that's why it's called Ray. Unfortunately I couldn't persuade him to play lol.)

Coffee is another hobby of mine. I actually love people- have met some lovely women through the Freedom Programme.

Anyway- that's me. :) Hope that wasn't hideously boring lol.

I've also joined the FB group- thanks for the add @SirChing :)

'I am starting to wonder whether men's oppression of women ISN'T because they think they are better, but because they KNOW that they are so crap that we wouldn't tolerate them voluntarily?'

@SirChing LOL!

Evening all. Having an interesting weekend. Lots of house stuff- beginning to take shape and feel like my own.

Dinner with friends last night and tonight- really nice and lots of laughing. Had a horrid conversation with ex boyf where he was exceptionally inappropriate, but I haven't blocked him as don't yet have my stuff back, and he's away playing man-child at his parents place. I'm fuming.

@sirching hope the head has cleared?

@Interestedwoman Wow, you sound like you have really taken the bull by the horns with all the therapy and are doing brilliantly!

Can I ask how you managed to get an ASD diagnosis? My DD has been diagnosed but school instigated that. I think I am on the spectrum too. Has a diagnosis been helpful in accessing support.

I totally understand if you don't want to answer.

@mildlymiffed Glad the house is going well. Your ex sounds like he is being a total knob! You have dodged such a bullet by getting rid of him. For me, going to his mum and dad to be looked after would be a surefire way of killing any remaining sexual attraction

Just think, at least you know the end is in sight when you have all your stuff back. You can leave him to it. He will always be a wanker.

The head has cleared thanks.

@SirChing Thanks for your reply. Am going out for the morning, but will reply properly later.

Have a nice morning, everyone. xxx