The Happy Singleton - All welcome!

[SirChing]

Hello, following a thread where I discussed how happy and excited I was to have consciously decided to be single for 2020, it seems there are loads of us out there: People who are single through choice and happy about it.

Some plan on being single forever, some for a shorter time, but none of us are dating or want to date at the moment. We are too busy focusing on the important things in life: us!

This is a thread for anyone who wants to join it, to support and encourage each other, to discuss what we have or hope to learn by being single, and to discuss random practical stuff, like which companies don't charge single supplements for holidays.

Come on in and pull up a chair if you fancy a chat.

Happy 2020 all

Hello, due to new developments, the FB group is now for women only! Sorry guys, but you can't join in if you are going to try to chat up the admin!

Room for one more?

I’ve been single for almost eight years, mostly through choice after dumping my abusive ex; it took me a while to recover from him.

95% of the time I love it - can do whatever I want. But I do feel like I’m missing out from time to time. However, after a Christmas shouldering the mental load for my lovely but frequently thoughtless dad and brother, it would take a pretty self-reliant bloke to make me consider a relationship again. There is nothing attractive about a man child.

I'd love to join too - both thread and FB group (just requested to join). Single for 7yrs. I think that I am better - more at peace, less distracted- out of a relationship and no plans to re-join coupledom. I slightly worry about how it will be when DS grows up & leaves home but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I have left the fb group as I felt exposed. I was bullied badly online some years back so I am still a bit tender from that. I will post on here instead :)

I'm going to stick on here for now too! Had a weird old day. Full on work, no ds tonight so v quiet, and my new house is still covered in boxes. Ex-bf also being a bit intrusive and not really accepting things are over. I'm feeling very out of sorts!

Didn't sleep well last night either which doesn't help. Need to brain dump and relax before dropping off tonight.

Read a post on mn about finding a happy place. I'm shit at visualisation stuff- but am going to try tonight!

I’m sending a request. Picture is me holding a wine glass (!) and initials are EF

What development? What did I miss? Also not joining FB as want to stay anonymous
Day off as only work part time. Something my ex would never have been happy with as he is very materialistic
I am lucky to have enough money part time so I value doing things
Today voluntary work. Dog class and walk and then sport tonight

Just 're read. Chat up...Do men even realise they are doing it or is just a default position?

If the man in question is kiwiguybromley then he has an interesting posting history.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/3467174-I-am-a-sex-phone-worker-and-mother?pg=2&order=

I don't have a problem, generally, with single men admitting that they are loving single life. Unfortunately, ime, some men try to 'target' single women ('like shooting fish in a barrel' I was told), and you can't know which are the Happy Singletons and which are the predators until it's too late!

Waiting to complete on the house today. Just hope there is enough money (I'm not needing a mortgage, but the price I'm paying is above what I can really afford, plus the solicitor's fee....)

I'm in a weird position - I was a long term single through choice (single and nothing but a few dates and dabbling ) for about 10 years then met and fell in love with DP - but I miss my single life- it's not enough that I want to break up with him but I find myself envious of my old life -

@BettyJean OMG puke! Hitting on every woman that speaks out is grim.

I was asked within about 2 minutes if I wanted to talk on the phone - er nope, and bloody glad I didn't too!

Nor did I want to discuss what sex with a FWB is like (was asked).

Why are some men so grim? And on a singles board where all the members are happy to be single! It's asking for rejection really.

@crochetmonkey74 Snap!!!!!

@SirChing judging by his posting history here he is interested in phone sex. He was probably hoping you'd be up for it. Grim!

What the hell in Single and Very Happy About That shouts '...but I am really gagging for phone sex with some random'?

Sleaze bucket.

OMG - this is funny!
And yet another reason to add to my 'staying single' pile!!!
Brilliant!

He kind of scored an own goal really 🏈🏈🏈

Sigh, some proper saddos out there.

Can’t get their heads around why some women are happier single, than they would be in a relationship with them. I really can’t work it out

Gross.

He was so angling for some phone sex.

Has anyone reported him for being a troll?

I was talking to my mum earlier, she was saying that women couldn’t get a mortgage by themselves up until the early 80s without a male guarantor, had to have their husband sign off their tax return, got instantly dismissed for being pregnant.

I know things aren’t perfect but let’s say a little thanks to the fact that we are living in 2020 and can be independent.

We don’t have to saddle ourselves to these pervs and weirdos just to be able to function in society.

@AdaKirkby That is a very good point! Having to stay shackled to these mouth breathers just to be able to live. Yuck!

I am starting to wonder whether men's oppression of women ISN'T because they think they are better, but because they KNOW that they are so crap that we wouldn't tolerate them voluntarily?

Could I join you? Thanks @SirChing for starting a really inspiring and positive thread. You are so lovely and funny, a great leader for this thread!

I am not yet "happily" single after my H left me for OW in the summer. Together 19 years and have young DS. Being single itself is not the issue for me (I am independent and don't feel the need to be in a relationship) it is the recovery from heartbreak and betrayal that's tough. I hope once I settle down into my new normal that I will find happiness being on my own. I have no plans to date any time soon. I took one small peek on OLD about a month ago - it made me feel ill. I didn't interact with anyone and realised I had no interest in dating whatsoever. I felt much better once I deleted my tentative account on Guardian Soulmates! 2020 is going to be about me and my DS. I need to work out what I need to make a happy new life.

I love reading about so many women embracing single life and all the positives associated with it. In fact it inspired me to change my username. I need to rewatch the film!

@AdaKirkby I haven't reported him. Mostly because a) he wasn't a sleaze to me on MN and b) I didn't feel he is important enough to actually bother expending the effort. Do you think I should?

@ThelmaAndLouise2020 Welcome! And thank you so much for those kind words (will pay you later......paypal ok? ).

So sorry to hear that your exH is a shitbag. At least his sexual incontinence is someone else's problem now. The OW will be permanently shitting herself that he will do the same to her, and will hopefully make his life a misery.

So sorry that you are hurting though. It sucks. Especially as there isn't a quick way through the pain.

I bet in a years time you are thinking "thank God he left, he did me a huge favour, in hindsight he was a huge arse!".

You deserve better. And to have your own freedom and lovely full life with your DS until better comes along (if you can be bothered in the future, if not then who could blame you?).

Please feel free to join the FB group. All welcome (except for sleazy single blokes - Bleurgh!).

The only bad bit about Thelma and Louise is them driving over a cliff. I sort of wish they had escaped somewhere to live a fabulous life. But then not too sorry, as Geena Davis did get to shag Brad Pitt

I threw STBXH out 3 years ago, I've been single since and the novelty definitely hasn't worn off! It's brilliant and I really wouldn't have things any other way. I feel like myself for the first time in years and I realise I'm absolutely fine with who I am as a person and there's nothing wrong with me! I've been able to really enjoy spending time with my friends, dress how I like, watch what I like, go to bed and get up when I like. It's fantastic! Some might say there's a person out there who I could be myself around and I could do all those things with but I'll believe it when I meet him....otherwise I'm very happy as I am!