The Happy Singleton - All welcome!

[SirChing]

Hello, following a thread where I discussed how happy and excited I was to have consciously decided to be single for 2020, it seems there are loads of us out there: People who are single through choice and happy about it.

Some plan on being single forever, some for a shorter time, but none of us are dating or want to date at the moment. We are too busy focusing on the important things in life: us!

This is a thread for anyone who wants to join it, to support and encourage each other, to discuss what we have or hope to learn by being single, and to discuss random practical stuff, like which companies don't charge single supplements for holidays.

Come on in and pull up a chair if you fancy a chat.

Happy 2020 all

@SirChing don't forget about me and the others here in the Midlands! We often get ignored in the great north/south debate.

@mildlymiffed hope everything has gone ok today!

I've just put DS to bed and am now searching for something to watch on telly. I'll probably fall asleep early, I always feel knackered on Monday nights.

I've decided that I'd like to try and lose 2 stone by June as I'm a bridesmaid then and I want to look slinky in my dress! I'm 5'4 and a bit overweight at 11st 7. Not terribly so but I carry all the weight on my face, arms and tummy, not ideal! I get plenty of exercise but I need to overhaul my diet, chocolate and cheese feature too often. So that's my goal for this year.

@BettyJean Good God! Those men sound dreadful. I would have PMSL if they were single, as clearly even the bunny boilers wouldn't have wanted them! Grim.

No-one should ever date someone who doesn't act like they can't believe their luck and worships the ground the woman walks on. If men haven't seemed keen enough, I just ditch.

I’ve just had a friend on the phone who has been “trying again” with an ex. Tbh I couldn’t see a reason other than she’s nervous of being single.

Anyway, after some long talks with him she said to me “I’m starting realise why being single is good”.

I hadn’t wanted to comment in case they do reunite, I’ll support whatever she does, but I think of being single is a thing.

*fear of being single!

@BettyJean men like that are just deluded. I'm 29 and wouldn't go near anyone like that with a barge pole.

@waxonwaxoff0 we're a similar size and build - exempt my flubbed avoids my chest at all costs, and clings to my thighs adoringly. So I am aiming for a stone by summer and 2 by Christmas. Have joined the gym and am going again to the agony that is pump tomorrow lunchtime. Mainly to work off the Nando's...

Where do these men get off thinking that we all want older men. I like an older man, but probably would draw the line, for me, at 10 yrs older. Sigh, just don't want to go back into OLD, in all honesty it scared me. It was a nest of vipers. I used to feel a little sick waking up and reading messages, especially when I was on POF. The one about the tight fettish from train conducter was particularly stomach churning...

@AutumnRose1 - oh bless her! She is learning 😂 With any luck she won't take him back.

@mildlymiffed - good job you are Darn Sarf or I would have been convinced that I had spoken to the right fetish guy. Although I have dated a few blokes who have been on the outer extremes of vanilla, who liked to wear tights and stockings and heels! Each to their own but it just makes me PMSL

POF is full of absolutely vile blokes though. They are the prawns of the dating world - the ones who hang around in the sediment in the depths. Yuck!

One bloke I chatted to on there wanted me to do something extremely lavatorial to him. And I don't mean anything liquid! I nearly threw up as he was telling me, bloody pervert

It’s laughable isn’t it?

They looked like professionals (concerning as you would assume some level of intelligence) but none of them were particularly attractive, just average. Probably too deluded to realise that the groups of 20 year olds they’re chatting up at the weekends are just laughing at them. At best they’re stringing them along for a few free drinks.

God I remember being so happy single. After being in an abusive relationship with the kids dad for over a decade I used to do a happy dance every day when I came home from work to my own little place.

Loved the bed to myself, loved watching what I wanted on TV (or sitting in silence with a good book). Loved putting my most snuggly (yet unattractive) pjs and socks on after work, and not shaving my legs if I didn't want to.

Loved not having to worry what someone else might want for dinner (except the kids of course). Beans on toast after work if I wanted to.

Decided there was nothing better than being single - it really was such a happy time in my life.

Then one night I had a couple of glasses of wine and decided to sign up to OLD purely out of curiosity. Met my dream man 2 nights on and we've been married 6 years.

Now I feel that exact same freedom I had before, except with someone. Now I feel like doing a happy dance knowing he's at home waiting for me. I feel that exact freedom and happiness in my own home but with him there.

But I totally get it. If I hadn't met this one guy I'd have stayed single forever, as a conscious decision. Such a delicious feeling.

@winezero That's lovely. I had that with my ex husband. Until it went to shit . Hope it always makes you feel this good and if it doesn't, then be single again!

I've been single for most of the last 15yrs..I'm 51 in March.
I found OLD soul destroying to be honest, and now I'm more than happy with the realisation that I probably won't have another intimate relationship.
My sex drive has taken a nose dive with the menopause, and it's been a year since I last slept with someone, and really, right now, that's OK.
I have a male friend, who will never be any more than that, and we do holiday together and spend some time at each others houses, maybe that relationship will change if he decides he wants to meet someone.. and apart from him I have a couple of female friends, and a son in the forces. It's a pretty quiet, laid back life, but I'm happy, happy just to do my own thing.
Another Yorkshire Lass saying "hello"

@StarbucksQueen Hello! Are you East York's by any chance? Just to complete the ensemble?

Your male friend sounds nice, and your life sounds lovely and calm. My exH is one of my best friends and it's lovely to have a male friend with no pressure or expectation of anything more happening. We are taking DD on holiday together in May. We still get on so why not? His girlfriend doesn't mind. Hell, she can even come too if she wants!

I think that being single really makes people aware of the importance of friends and family. I let a lot of friendships slide throughout my marriage, and a lot went due to me being disabled now. But those that remain are so important. And I hope to make more.

Are you looking to expand your social circle too or are you content with what you have? Never say never re your libido. I know loads of women whose libido reinvigorated again after menopause had finished. Sadly, due to the quality of men they were with, they tended to wish they were single at that point

Morning all :)
Can't help on the East Yorks front... I live in West, work in South.
I'd love to have a couple more single friends, who were more local. My 2 close friends are some distance away.
My mum is local, and we spend time together, and her and my son are my only family... Probably why I've never minded my own company!
I had quite a stressful job for 20 odd years, and sometimes it was good just to come home, shut the door and not have to speak to anyone.. I'm fortunate now to be able to work part time, so less stress, more 'me' time, and hopefully more time to spend enjoying life

@StarbucksQueen It's tough when your friends live further away isn't it? My best mate moved to Devon. Which is great for free holidays every year, but crap for seeing her very often.

I love a couple of miles outside the city of W if that makes sense to you, so a bloody long way from Devon!

I'm glad your life is less stressful now. Work stress is awful just because it's so relentless. I am in a very similar position with my mum and my DD as you are. I think lots of people are. There are those of us who enjoy our own company, and those that either cant afford to go out or have noone to socialise with anyway.

I would rather cut my feet off than go to a nightclub, so that rules out nights out with a lot of the mum friends I know.

Have you a WI near you? Mine is quite a cool one apparently. First visit this Friday.

@sirching.. I think... We may actually live in the same city lol.
Not tried the WI, I did try aerobics with some kind, (much younger) work colleagues, but as I'm about as coordinated as a newborn baby giraffe, I was clapping while everyone else was waving their hands in the air

Morning all checking in from over the pond! I love this thread! (I’m British but I live in the USA)
So, felt pretty meh yesterday, the usual battles getting my son ready for school and then I’m in the middle of a mortgage process which is the first time I’ve gone through any major financial process anyway and add to that, I’m doing it just me and in a foreign country! At the end of the tunnel I can see my absolute dream house and it will be all mine and my son’s but for some reason yesterday I just felt anxious about it. Well I persevered and then at the end of the day managed to locate the essential last piece of paperwork needed and seemingly I have a mortgage agreement in my inbox to sign this morning! This afternoon a huge strategy meeting at work, son is grounded due to lateness meeting his dad 😂 and then this evening hopefully Pinterest, silence, reading and baking!
I do cherish this life I never expected to love and embrace.
A guy who I know liked me years back got in touch yesterday with some vague plans to meet but even then, my inner voice was reminding me, and I didn’t object, ‘nothing more than a friendship’.
I also love being unshaven legs and pits; rotten pyjamas, taking two hours to get up, making noise at 5am if I want to....(my ex enforced absolute silence in the mornings ffs)

I do wish somehow we could have a closed Facebook offshoot of this group. So many of us are working on projects and goals and it would be lovely to post pictures and stuff....just a thought

@StarbucksQueen Ha, that would be me at aerobics! I am very malcoordinated! If you are near me, pop to the WI with me on Friday if you like? Place beginning with H. Where the Christian Soldiers go onwards

Hello everyone, saw a post by @Hellsbellsmelons on another thread mentioning this and thought I'd take a look.

Single for 7 years, I'm 53 with an 11 year old DD. Have been on OLD many times on and off but never get used to how crap it makes me feel. I ended a 6 month relationship last Summer with somebody I've known for a long time. I just knew I could never live with him.

Afte a parade of depressing men I've realised I don't want to tolerate them any more and don't have to. Plus it's expensive dating!

I have a FWB thing going on but it's early days. I've always been great in my own company and not needed loads of people in my life.

BUT I can't help thinking that a man in my life would still be nice sometimes. I need a bit more than a fuck buddy but less than a boyfriend.

Ah yes Indie I can relate to that - more than a fuck buddy but less than a boyfriend is the ideal for me too. Its hard to come by and most men want one or the other and they cant understand why I wouldn't want to share my space/time/finance with them on a permanent basis!

Oh yes please to a closed FB group - I'd be up for that (only I lack the technological capability to do more than press a 'Join Group' button).

Went for a five mile run, got soaked and frozen, and am off to work in a bit, after another frantic sorting of cupboard session.

I'm in! 46, one dd age 12, and single for over a decade after a short and unpleasant marriage.

I won't lie - it's a bit of a blow to my ego that I don't get chosen by anyone, ever. I do sometimes hanker after the Great Loves I read about. In real life, though, I look around me and I can't see a single (ha!) example of a relationship that I envy. I'm okay with doing my own thing.

God, I'm 45 actually. Prematurely aged, obviously.

@rainy yes ive had that too, but the idea of actually living with a man again

Pressed too soon! The idea of actually living with any man, ever again is such a huge turn off.