Help me get over this ridiculous crush!

[Needtogetbackinthesack]

I'm newly divorced, haven't had sex since I conceived my 3 yo and I feel it's time to get back out there.

There's a guy I see every morning when dropping my kids off, he works in an office I walk by and his smile makes me weak at the knees. It's got so bad that I can't sleep at night for thinking about him but I'm generally too nervous to even make eye contact as I walk by. He does smile on the odd brave occasion, but he smiles at everyone who walks by.

His office isn't the kind where people off the street could walk in - no customers etc. I literally know nothing else about him, can't see if he's wearing a wedding ring etc. He also sees me walk by with my herd of out of control kids, hardly an attractive prospect. But I can't help but think about him.

How do people deal with such crushes when you're in your mid thirties? I think I need to get out there and meet a real life human and forget about him don't I? But that smile... 😍😆🙈

Is there a Costa/Starbucks/CafeNero etc within reasonable walking distance? I'd get your mum to look after small, and reappear just before lunchtime with a coffee cup of said shop and hold up cup and point to it while grinning like a loon, as though to say 'Meet me there!' And see what happens.

@Flatbellyfella omg this is genius!! Though I'd still need to get into his office to ask him but it's definitely one to think about 😂

And @Ariela no coffee shops nearby really. But again one to think about. I think something jokey is the way forward then I can shrug it off if it goes tits up.

Either way this whole debacle is making me feel like a love struck teenager again after 5 years in a shitty, abusive, mostly sexless marriage. It's such fun and a great confidence booster! Thanks to you all for indulging my fantasy haha

What about going the full Love Actually on him and have some cards made up? So on the first, HI. Second, IT'S COLD!. Third (with coffee in hand) PERFECT. Fourth WANT ONE? Or equivalent 🤗 🥶 ☕️ 🤏🏻❓

@LittleMissnotLittleMrs I would be up for that if it wasn't in front of the entire bloody school at school run time. I'm thinking maybe a valentines card through the door though??

I was completely up for talking to him on one of my rare kid free pick ups today... and his bloody office was closed! At 5.01! I feel like I need to know more about this office, any job where the entire office has gone home thag early ok a Tuesday sounds like a bloody winner to me!

Anything happen today? 😁

@Lost87 well... no not really! BUT I have been paying close attention and parked where he could see me from his office and I could see him in my mirror watching me (in a way that I don't think was creepy?!) He watched me get out the car, cross the road walking straight towards his office and was waving before I'd even crossed the road and mouthed hello, then waved as I went back to get in the car and was still looking in my direction and smiled again as I drove past his window. I asked my chatty friend who also fancies him if she got a wave and she only got a nod and a mouthed hi. So in the head of a fantasist who reads too many romance novels the signs are good, right?!

I've got to take a bottle of prosecco in as a gift tomorrow so I was going to hold it up and do a drink? Gesture and see what he says...

Yes! Oooh it's so exciting. Much better than the doom and gloom of eastenders 😂 it sounds like he waits for you every morning, he was anticipating you being there. X

@Lost87 haha yes in my head that's exactly what happens! I'm absolutely loving it and kind of don't want anything to happen because I quite like my fantasy life plotting my next move.

I probably should get out more

Oooh, I so love this post!
Reminds me of the lady who was very sadly widowed with 2/3 kids and was just feeling ready to date again when she met a guy in a 'cross paths' kind of way too. She ended up marrying him and having another child! Was so heartwarming!

I feel I may get over invested in this. For this, I apologise in advance OP. Nothing exciting going on in my life atm!

@glutten4punishment you are totally not helping me to get a grip on this with all these happy endings, haha! I'm not sure I'm ready to marry and have kids but I'm definitely ready to get back in the dating game and have some fun.

I've had a really shitty few years, culminating in a really horrific separation/divorce that's still ongoing and I've spent a lot of time feeling really down. In the last couple of months I've met some amazing friends, started a new job that's a complete career change to my dream job, got some confidence back and this guy waving at me is the icing on the cake really. I know it sounds silly because really NOTHING has happened and probably never will but it just seems like I'm getting back to the person I was before a shitty marriage got the better of me. I feel like a love sick puppy

Dont think negatives. Who's to say nothing will happen? I say conquer your fears and charade your way to a date through that glass window. Even if you two dont have anything in common, at least it got your flirting game going again and will give you extra boost for next time 😉

@Lost87 you're right, I definitely need to work on the flirting game and this is good practise. I think he's enjoying the flirting too because it seems more than a passing smile, he genuinely seems happy to see me. So even if he's not really interested or available it's a good confidence boost!

Ill update tomorrow...

Write your number on the wrong side of a post it note,
Once you've gestured the drink suggestion, you can pop the note on the window, so the number will be visible to him, and await your future!!!!

@needtogetbackinthesack how did it go!?

I think it's great that you are starting to feel interested in meeting someone new! As for this guy, I would say enjoy the fantasy but don't let it go on too long. Either take the plunge (I love the post-it note suggestion!) and try and make contact or set yourself a time to stop and start getting out there (like dating sites etc.)

The reason I say don't let it go on too long is it might either stop you from actually getting out there and meeting someone or if on the chance you did meet this guy, you may have built up such a fantasy of him you'll be unable to assess who he truly is.

Good luck!

@theneighbourswindchime it didn't my kids were complete shits and as I walked past his window I was trying to stop one of them running across the road. But I've seen him 3 times today, and all the times he's waved and said hi. One of those times I was with chatty friend who also fancies him and we both waved and smiled, I feel like 2 cringey schoolgirls

It's def not stopping me getting out there and meeting other people because I don't really have any plans to do that, I'm not sure I'm ready for OLD yet and I don't really know that many people here yet to meet people through friends/don't go out loads so I'm just taking it as it comes. I'm just enjoying the fun of having a crush and the confidence boost of a random man smiling and waving

If you do that drink thing I'll be so impressed with your bravery!!

Sorry to ask the obvious.... but have you searched Tinder for him?

@theneighbourswindchime no I haven't, I'm not on tinder. How would I search for him if I don't know anything about him!? I'll sign up this weekend...

Well, if he keeps waving to you, that might mean that he has noticed how turned on you are, or he thinks that you are some celebrity Mum.

I’m over invested in this thread!

Completely unable to sleep because I was thinking about him (note to self, get a life...) so signed up to tinder. Fuck me. I am NOT ready for OLD and all the freaks it turned up.

So I think this has made me more determined to at least be a bit braver and see if I can engage in conversation. I'm feeling super confident about this, and super not confident about OLD. And generally about other RL men too, I think I'd rather be rejected to my face than so through a million pointless OLD

Omg your thread has made me excited and I'm married ha ha!
Love good old fashioned romance, good luck op!

I meant my Dp OLD and I didn't even make up my profile. My friends were desperate to help me out so I let them sort it. Double checked it over and only read the matches and messages twice a week.
I was literally clearing the messages for the first time, hundreds of messages in the month I was on it and 90% were weirdos asking perverted questions. One asked me for a photo of my feet cos he had a foot fetish and wanted to imagine sucking my toes while watching porn 😱😱😱🤔 then up he popped on my matches. I feel for his eyes straight away from his photos. I said Hey, he replied Hello and we spoke non stop from 10pm till 2am.
But I wouldn't do it again, way too many let downs.
I seriously would say bite the bullet and go for it, but that's only because I wake up everyday to follow this post 😂😂