Dating thread 179 - am I doing it right?

[Chochito]

Looked for the new thread but couldn't find it...

Simons a lady isn’t she ? Just called Simon in the name

"not dating the thread" came about because someone was messaging women on the thread and trying to persuade them to meet up with him.
I can't remember the exact details because it's a few years ago.

There have also been some happy endings when members of the thread met and coupled up. But that's because they met as part of a larger group that decided to meet socially.

I've been lurking on here for too long now :(

This the nearest i’d ever get to being a lady 😂

Haha simon

@Sunshineandflipflops and me too

Oh 😂 I must be thinking of someone else

Aargh, sorry @TheCatWithTheHat

More guys on here than I realised!

I was about to say that @SimonJT is definitely a man but he got in there first 😂

Feel free to message me @EchoElephant although I can be quite cynical. I think you need to go with your gut. You checked on tinder because something felt wrong.

I don't see it as an issue.

I wonder if there is a Male equivalent forum though, where the women are in the minority. I might look it up 😁

@bangheadhere40 one of those car forums maybe 😂😂

I know shit about cars, but could pretend 👍😁

@uncorrected, sorry I've not replied yet to the pm. I can't get them on my phone and I'm not near a pc

I'm just parked up waiting to go on my date with Mr HR! Uncharacteristically nervous which is unlike me. Bad back in much better after a cocktail of drugs. So fingers crossed for me!

I feel like I am barely here so don't deserve a mention @Sunshineandflipflops,
I often read things and think I have something to say and then fail to compose a reply before there is some demand on my time.

Last time that happened was when someone asked kind of rhetorically whether we go into online dating looking to protect others from getting hurt rather than ourselves. That made me think because that is a strong component of my thoughts (not hurting someone) when it comes to dating and holds me back and makes me, dare I say it, avoidant, at times. I tend to only go for it if it feels like something big, which of course exposes me rather more than who I am dating.

Then I remember I wanted to reply to someone else that was looking for red flags in their date and it just seemed to me to be a guy that was genuinely interested in her.

And to all those trying to date their way out of losing someone they cared about, it's tough and in my experience has been almost a guarantee of a no spark scenario. But I'm not sure what else you can do - you want to rediscover that again.

So anyway sorry to be terse but I haven't had much time to post. All good here, I have DS for another fortnight then will try to pick up dating after that.

@AverageGuy It's nice to see another guy on the forum :) Sorry to hear about your mum - my father suffers from the same disease, and it's very tough to deal with.

@UncorrectedDoormat not sure if you're looking for a male perspective, but happy to DM if you are. I think wobbles are normal (at least they are for me) when things start to move forward, and feelings get involved. None of us would be posting here if it was easy!

@bangheadhere40 it's hard not to feel rejected when someone blocks you (even if they are a bit odd), especially if you like them. Even if you didn't meet, you still have a little connection with them after talking for 2 months, so it's natural to feel like that I think.

Things are a little slow on the dating front for me - have been chatting to several women on Bumble, and have just asked one if she'd like to meet up for a drink soon. Tinder has been pretty quiet - one of my matches asked to meet for a drink a week or so ago, but seems I'm not quite tall enough for her so has changed her mind.

Have also been speaking a bit more with Miss Confusing over the last few days after we chatted on Saturday night (when she sent me a pic of something that reminded her of a couple of recent dates). I was going to ask her last night if she fancied meeting (just so I know whether if she's still potentially interested, or I'm now in the friend-zone) but she was panicking about an exam she has this weekend, so I decided to keep it light and not add to her stress!

@cat, I think we have a bit in common with miss confusing and mr straight. He has been so overwhelming today and lovely, and then nothing. All words no actions. He was the one person I originally wanted and I can't read it. He has now unblocked me and been messaging etc...

Everyone tells me to just forget him, easier said than done though.

@thecatwiththehat thanks, but think I'm somewhat sorted. Communication issue, most likely. And me not saying exactly what I thought...

I am trying to focus on mr smile but not seen him in ages, hopefully at the weekend when I do I will get a grip!

@bangheadhere40 I think it's the hot and cold that's hard - you never quite know where you stand! It took me 6 weeks to meet Miss Confusing for the first time as she cancelled the first couple of dates, then went on holiday and I was busy too.

It is hard to just walk away and forget them, although I think in time things hopefully work themselves out of their own accord.

Messaging Mr Spanners again a bit today, he's friendly enough but giving nothing away really...

Shall I just ask him when he wants to meet again?

And Mr Cheekbones has give me his number but daft as it sounds I'm really protective of my phone number (had a lot of issues with stbxh sending anonymous texts designed to stress me out). What should I do? I've suggested snap but in reality I don't like giving stuff out til I've actually met someone. I sound mad I know 😂

@cat I really hope so....I need to meet him or block him myself really. I don't know why I am like this, something about him but I need to be mature.

It's easy for others to view things, as I would do too in that situation but you can't help what you feel I guess 🙂

I think it's the hot and cold, to be fair they are both probably very selfish people but it's hard to acknowledge that.

@ leave nothing wrong with not giving your number, just explain that you have had a bad experience and would rather not, he will understand if genuine.

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn that doesn't sound mad at all - I'd understand if a women I was chatting to didn't want to hand over her number until we'd met, especially if she explained why.

@Notcoolmum have sent you a PM

Thanks @TheCatWithTheHat- people seem to want you to constantly prove you're not a catfish but I'd rather do that in person tbh! I'm always happy myself to speak on tinder, go careful with the conversation and arrange to meet somewhere public. Worst that can happen is they're a no show or not like their pics. It's safe in public