Dating thread 179 - am I doing it right?

[Chochito]

Looked for the new thread but couldn't find it...

Actually it's not weird and wouldn't bother me but it did bother some.

I assumed it meant not spending too much time on the thread too.....

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking Nope, South of England, but you might be right about the age gap.. I'm nearer 60 than 50..

Does meeting to go dancing count as dating? What is counted as a date? (asking for a friend!)

I can see how that could make things awkward. 🤔

Ok. I was going to do this update by computer because I hate my phone keyboard but I'm stuck in a cold playground while my kids burn off some energy so why not.

Mr long distance called last night. He looks good without his beard so his new name will stick (we have too many Mr beards on this thread anyway. It's like living in the 70s).
He was very flirty and chatty. I was very reserved and cautious - not like me at all but I didn't want to throw myself in until I knew what he wanted. He's asked me on a date. Initially a fairly full on one (dinner out and a B&B???!!!) So I suggested a more low key walk and pub lunch one to start with just to check we were still feeling that spark and there was something worth pursuing. So we're doing that early Feb (the soonest I'm free). With, presumably, the b&b date to follow at a later date. At least it would be a chance to wear the party dress I bought that hasn't yet had an outing. Dark green velvet, very tight, 50s style.

This is there only chap I've met who I've seen any kind of actual relationship with. I was a little thrown when he interjected that he was only looking at casual dating. However I wouldn't call what he was proposing 'casual'. To me casual is fwb type stuff. I think he just means her doesn't want to jump in with expectations and taking marriage and long term and how do we make those long distance thing work. Which is fine, actually. It's made me realise how far I've come since I met him back in November when I was needy and broken and desperate. I mean, I'm hardly in a good place atm what with losing my job, but I'm not turning to potential relationships to fix that. Or even as a distraction tbh. I'm sitting with my feelings, made an appt with my counsellor, turned to my friends. I feel like I'm in a much healthier place and actually sooner laid back dates with someone I really like will need nice and we can worry about serious when ever actually got to know each other a bit.

So...

In the meantime a kink club on Sunday with Mr Pilates 😎

I assumed it meant not spending too much time/getting over-invested here, in which case I for one am a massive rule-breaker!

I'm East-ish but the age gap is right. I'm somewhere between 30 and 40 😊

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking you can never have enough beards 😉

ack. Sorry about typos. It's why I hate typin on phone

I'm lying on my bed wishing it was Friday already 9 days is too long to wait, geography is thwarting my fun! Well he's coming straight from work, just need to ensure the dog is collected by stbexh before he arrives!

I've just booked the Airbnb for next weekend with Mr G.

Looks like some good dates are happening. I need to catch up properly. I got as far as the Warehouse sale and can't decide if I can get away with wearing those lovely dresses at my age.

I'm still dealing with the fallout from finding Mr FO on Tinder. He came back with a possible, plausible reason - if anyone wants to hear the whole story, I can DM as I don't know what to make of it all.

But the result is that he seems to have ghosted me. We exchanged a few messages and were going to meet to discuss things. But I haven't heard from him since Monday.
Now I don't know what to do. Block and delete is an option, I know. But I hate not having the last word. And wondering why he's just disappeared.

Aww Mr Mad is being such a sweetie, I do think we’ll stay friends, he’s a lovely chap but a bit broken by his terrible life choices 😂

And then someone sent me this today about ghosting
"Ghosting hurts because it silences you, leaves you powerless and wondering, leaves you alone with your assumptions, without the possibility of confrontation and expression, leading to an erroneous self-validation which ultimately undermines your self-esteem. People ghost because of indifference, either toward their own feelings (rare) or toward you."

The whole article is here
www.quora.com/Why-is-ghosting-so-hurtful

Yes yes yes.

Did people actually date on here? as in meet eachother on here and go out IRL?

@bangheadhere40 yes they did. It was just before I joined (I think) or just before I began lurking. Maybe one of the older posters know more @Lovemusic33 or @shitwithsugar I've only been on here for about a year....😱

@bangheadhere40 do you mean if two people from the dating threads got together as a result of both posting? If so, I do believe this has happened, I'm sure I've read that it has happened.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking. The phrase casual is a very big spectrum and diff thihgs to different people. Some it’s just sex, some fwb and some like you iron they aren’t considering long term right now

@pink that is what I was wondering yes.....there doesn't seem to be many men on here though, only seen a couple!

I've been on here over a year I think and I have seen mention of thread dating but I think it was before my time too.

I don't really see an issue with it-we are all
adults and don't actually know each other!

There used to be a few more men. One or two were a little inappropriate I think and left as a result and I think the other have just tailed off/coupled up.

Just @AverageGuy @HairyArsedMan and @Ant330 still about now and again as far as I'm aware.

echo that’s a good description of ghosting - though it sounds to me like he’s not indifferent to you, rather you make him uncomfortable by calling him out so he’s chickened out. Block and delete really is the best option, with a side dish of wishing bad karma on him!

And simon

Beggars belief that yacht man coupled up😂

Oh, so sorry, I forgot @SimonJT!