Dating thread 179 - am I doing it right?

[Chochito]

Looked for the new thread but couldn't find it...

I'm watching SAS: Are You Tough Enough and being reminded of Mr SAS. He wasn't in the SAS at all but he was pretty bloody fit for a 49 year old.

Would go back though...very happy with my Mr Ad 😊

Re: getting over someone, I wasn't in love with Mr SAS bit did like him a LOT. We were together on and off for 5 months.

I think I just realised that he wouldn't be pining after me so I wasn't going to do it for him. I wasn't really expecting to meet anyone serious, I went back on the apps the day after for more of an ego boost/distraction but I matched with Mr Ad and he was never going to just be a distraction.

My first post was supposed to say WOULDN'T go back 😂

Evening all
I have told Mr Popcorn I am going to not message him etc as he isn't able to commit to whether we can see each other moving forward. He is a lovely, lovely guy but there are so many complications there that he would need to work round....I hope he is struck by inspiration and he messages me, but if not, then I had lots of fun with a great person.
Well singles Sunday has been an eye opener...I haven't had a message sent to me for a week from anyone and then 5 today. Two are actually worth talking to, and are providing good distraction from Mr Popcorn.
Then there was the 'Hello very attractive lady' message that made me laugh stupidly and someone asking for my number 2nd message...errr, nope.

Let's hope we all have phwoarr moments soon

I got up the courage to invite Mr Yorkshireman over here for the day if he wants to come over and his son too if he wants to bring him so I'll see what happens next.. it's cards on the table time !!!

@unambiguousbeard i think it's a numbers game and you have to get back looking when you feel it's right. You can see loads here have met better suited people to them very quickly after. You seem a great, interesting person!

I'm still not having much luck swiping but I think the issue is me just not engaging with anyone much. I've had 8 dates in 15months! I think I'm too aware I haven't the time to devote to anyone with two small kids and 100% childcare. Once every fortnight is all I can offer really, which isn't appealing to most.

Mmm shitwith that's how Mr Greedy looks at me, hence his name. God knows why, but he thinks I’m gorgeous and great. Perhaps I should finally start paying attention, because I think it is quite rare to find someone who both feels that and expresses it openly.

Tiger it is rare - men who are honest about how they feel about you are not at all common! I loved the phwoarr thread!

@unambiguousbeard I went straight back on the apps after Mr S. I was in love with him and broken when he ended it. I wanted to feel attractive and validated. I met Mr B almost straight away but I was still broken and hankering after Mr S. Fast forward a few months, an attempted reconciliation with Mr S I realised actually Mr B has a lot to offer and we are now together and I feel cautiously happy.

@Stillsexystillsingle how long have you been seeing Mr Yorkshire for? Personally I wouldn't involve the kids until you are a bit more sure.

Thanks for all your support yesterday it really helped. I’ve suspended my Match account as I think I need to like myself again before I’m ready and strong enough to start OLD. I got a reply back from Match saying they haven’t blocked his account as he hasn’t done anything wrong on there site. So if anyone is on there please avoid the good looking half Italian man !!
Hopefully I will be back on here in a few months wiser and stronger. Good luck in the meantime everyone!

Help! Mr Smile is back and we have arranged a date Saturday ( our 3rd). I also have 2 other dates lined up this week, is that okay? Feel a little guilty.

@TigerDater Mr S looked at me as if he was going to devour me. Although now I'm wondering if it was the psychopathic stare!! Mr B looks at me with desire. But more. If that's not too soppy!!!

@bangheadhere40 did you tell him you were off the apps? I can't remember. I know he told you he'd deleted them. Depends on the conversation you had and his expectations.

@Jane1978xx all I said was I will look into it, never said I was. I think I will go on the dates and see. Hopefully when I see him at the weekend I can get a bit more clarification. This is so hard!

sorry @unambiguousbeard not Jane! :-)

Aww that sounds lovely notcoolmum, I’m so pleased for you that it’s working out with Mr B. I’m sure Mr Greedy is not a psychopath, he’s mixed the devouring look with looks of sympathy, amusement and joy often enough. And my dog adores him!

Morning all! Finally checking in on new thread and have a question for those who are in relationships already and have introduced kids or are thinking about it.

How the fuck do you go about it?!!

It's not going to be happening any time soon because I've only been seeing Mr C for 3 weeks (jesus that feels ridiculous) - lately it's been every day though as we can't get enough of each other so I can see this getting serious very quickly. So obviously the thought is on my mind. He has no kids.

Rejoining the thread under my new year username.

Was supposed to go for a coffee first date with somebody yesterday but he flew some red flags - didn't want to meet - for coffee - in the town he worked in, in case somebody recognised him?! And was obsessed with finding somewhere miles away with free parking (it's a whole 60p and £0 petrol cost in the town we both work in...) so I was trying to work out how to say thanks but no thanks but he didn't get in touch again so that sorted itself out

Was having a great good flirt straight off the bat with another guy on bumble then he disappeared right in the middle of fast paced fun conversation! See rule about other people being weird not my problem.

So no irons at the moment but relieved to have dodged a bullet

@Peanutbuttermouth I'm currently thinking about all of this...MrM and I have hit the 3 month mark and I've met his family. He's meeting mine in March and we will have been together 6 months by then. My children know I have a friend called MrM because he bought them Christmas presents, he's coming over for a brew when my DD is here this weekend so I'll introduce them but still only as a friend. I don't think she'll bat an eyelid to be perfectly honest as she's 5 and if Mummy's happy then she is also.

I'm going v slow with plans for introductions, probably won't be doing anything until the spring. At least March. My eldest knows about Mr G but that's it.

@kermitrulesok what was the test result?! Presumably all good.
Yes I'm thinking the same, to introduce as a friend only. My kids are similar ages to yours (do you have one or more?) But my older one is very astute. I've never been in this situation before and it's terrifying.

@Peanutbuttermouth test was negative but due on tomorrow so will see then!

I have 2 kids but my oldest lives with his dad and is also very astute - we have quite a bizarre set up but it works for us. He will be devastated when I eventually tell him I have a boyfriend as he's hoping me and his dad will get back together - will tread extremely carefully with this as I know this could damage him for a long time. He doesn't know and I've spoken to ex-H about the best way to approach it so will work together hopefully to minimise the effect on DS. He knows I have male friends as I'm ex-Army and he meets those all the time so we'll see how it goes but that'll be a long time in the future.

I think for me, meeting kids would only happen when I was almost certain that the relationship was going to be very long term. I'm not sure how soon I'd be able to tell. And it would also depend on the nature of the relationship. Mine is very much about me having an adult relationship that's separate from my parent/family identity and I can't imagine I'll want to introduce the DC into it.

I'm probably over cautious because I'm not long out of an abusive marriage and I think this relationship is a rebound.

Exactly the same with my son @kermitrulesok he is hoping his dad will come back and I recognise that there is going to be some damage in the process. His dad's been gone 2.5 years but they have no regular contact with him and so my son projects the perfect dad fantasy on to the blank space.
@uncorrecteddoormat I've had plenty of rebounds including a 9 month thing last year - this is the first time I've felt this. Weird how you just know.