Dating thread 179 - am I doing it right?

[Chochito]

Looked for the new thread but couldn't find it...

@Stillsexystillsingle it was never mentioned at all in sex ed at school. I'd never heard of HPV til I had my first smear and tested positive for it.

Luckily girls are vaccinated against it now but they should vaccinate boys to, fit themselves and to limit the spread of HPV.

I also noticed a poster in the GUM clinic for free HPV vaccinations for gay men which is great but it also made me think it should be offered free to women who were too old to get the vaccine who haven't tested positive for HPV.

Sorry that was a bit of a tangent 😂

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn it is offered to boys and girls now, in year 8.

@UncorrectedDoormat are boys included now too? That's really good

My very good friend has just been diagnosed with cervical cancer picked up on a smear , no symptoms at all. The vaccinations and smears are so important ☹️

I had HPV too nearly three years ago. Had a colposcopy and LLETZ - test 6 months later was clear.

No symptoms at all.

DD15 has had the vaccination, thank goodness.

@Jane1978xx it's so important, very glad my DC will have the vaccine and I'm grateful for the screening programme. I never want to be taken off yearly recall for them tbh.

💐 for you and your friend. I hope they can treat it.

So was perhaps going to be going for a drink with that potential FB tonight- I messaged mid afternoon to see if he was still up for it and I've had no response. Shall I unmatch on tinder or see if he comes back with an explanation?

Yeah I'm very tempted to. It's such shitty behaviour.

I'm not actually bothered about going out tonight. I'm knackered and have a headache anyway. But I'm really pissed off that this continues, the seemingly impossible task of matching someone who will go on a fucking date 😡

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn yes she’s very active in getting her treatments sorted ASAP

Is anyone else here regularly seeing someone (FWB or casual dating that is not heading towards meeting friends/family/DC) and also has DC and a difficult ex?

I'm really struggling with the chance of being "found out". I'm anxious in case someone sees us together. I'm anxious that my DC might work out/find out I'm seeing someone.

I only told one person at the time of our first date, and only for safety reasons. 4 months later, I told my sister and brother's girlfriend.

I wonder why I'm being like this. I think I actually feel like I'm not entitled to date or have fun. But I shouldn't be feeling bad about it/myself.

It's all so complicated :(

@uncorr

@UncorrectedDoormat. Yes in a way, my ex doesn’t know about my casual / fwb. But it’s really none of his business . If someone tells him that they’ve seen me with a man or there’s been a man at my house then how does he know it’s not a friend or colleague 🤷🏼‍♀️. And partly I don’t care. He has no say and your ex won’t either maybe unless they are meeting your child. Your ex is likely on apps anyway , mine is.

Oddly, I would like my ex to meet someone else. I've always thought that he would move on, stop being such a monumental PITA and maybe communicate a bit better if he met someone new. I really hope he is on the apps and dating.

I think I am just having a down moment after a really lovely date yesterday, because the idea of meeting his friends came up, and I chickened out of having the chat and saying that I wasn't looking for that kind of relationship.

I have 2 dates this week, mr CID never came back but one tomorrow with mr bank and Tuesday with mr rugby. Decided to be more ruthless and not wait about for flakey people.

@UncorrectedDoormat. Oh I wouldn’t mind at all my ex meeting someone then he can use their Netflix and ask them how to be an adult.

I think what you are looking for can vary with who you meet sometimes but don’t worry about your ex even if they know you are seeing people they can’t do anything.

@bangheadhere40. You go for it , and it’s the time of year when more people are open to dating anyway.

So I’m going to meet mr old (he’s younger than me 😂 but an old iron) after he finishes work on sat just for a quick drink.!

I'm keeping my dating life on the DL, more or less. It's less than a year since I ended it with my ex and I'm not ready for him to know about me dating, at all. (He might stop trying to guilt trip me into getting back with him tho...) It's complicated here, too, but I have gotten to the stage where I feel sick of hiding things and want to just live normally, talk about him in conversations, tag him on Facebook, etc. But I am still waiting.

Great news re snogs @shitwithsugar and also re date Marlbs.

I just don't know how so many of you do it, get back on the horse so quickly. I can't imagine liking anyone as much as Mr U. I can't imagine having a snog let alone sex. Maybe I'm just picky, maybe my feelings for him ran deeper than I'll admit. How do you all get over someone so bloody fast?

For me it’s a fwb type thing so not so bothered but if I had a proper partner that must be hard

I was going through the motions with my ex for years before the final decision. It was a relief to move on. I didn't intend to form any serious bonds but I take what comes.

I live not far from several military bases and it's clear they're all back after Xmas and signed up to tinder today 😂

I've realised I probably have to come off the apps. I have spent hours swiping this weekend and it just feels really unhealthy! And I dont think I fancy that many men at all. I don't even really have a type but I just want a really nice grown up man, kind, considerate, with his shit together, who is looking for long term.

For me, all that seems to be on the apps is guys who are really unsuitable - loads of topless gym selfies (why???), people who can't take a photo to save their lives, who have usernames like 'leedsboi' or 'cunnyfunt' (seriously?) and who's photos mostly are of them sitting outside a pub smoking a spliff, with some terrifying looking dog (I have kids) or they are the bunch who want a 'travel buddy' which I an't commit to. Lots of boys, lots of older men, but really nothing in between (I'm 34). sigh It's depressing.