Dating thread 179 - am I doing it right?

[Chochito]

Looked for the new thread but couldn't find it...

@Freefalling123. I’m worried about that too, but what the hell? I’ve chatted to a few, unmatched with a few after we’ve chatted because actually they’re too far away or their hobbies are too extreme for me. I’m finding at 50 they’ve either turned into Rambo to hold onto their youth, or they’ve let themselves go and have a face only a mother could love! If I see one more profile pic of a man holding a fish I may cry

I love people watching! If he doesn't show, go do something fun, shitwith. Tho I hope he does of course.

freefalling I used to worry a lot about people I know seeing my profile so I just made sure that my profile was squeaky clean and fully reflected the real me - not trying too hard, and no code words such as ‘fun’ or ‘open’ (both of which are evidently read as ‘dying for sex’ 😂, which I was of course!)

Wow shitewithsugaron, sounds like a fab date! It's so nice and rare when you meet someone and instantly really fancy them!

Nomoreweeping, impressed by your stamina and hope your ankle isn't too painful, apart from the visit to A&E it sounds a great date too!

Osborne, definitely sounds dodgy, personally I would ask him to WhatsApp you some recent photos and speak on the phone. If he's a scam, you can just block his number. Please be cautious

Mind you, I hate seeing men I know on Tinder, because they ALWAYS lie about their age by a good 10 years so they turn up in the parameters for younger women 🤮

Hope he's turned up shitwith - and you have your phone/MN if he doesn't ....

As expected, Mr BC mentioned the visit to his house - he asked if I would like to stay some time ..... I said I loved the house/pets but that I didn't feel comfortable there so wouldn't stay. He asked if it was the photos, and I said yes. He said he guessed as much. We didn't really talk any further about it but have booked another two weekends away and lunch with 4 more of his friends .... I think it's okay! He's the type to let things sink in so he might say something when I next see him. Am already counting down the hours til I see him - 52 hours to go .....!

Catwithhat, I've only recently joined the thread so don't know the whole backstory but she sounds very hot and cold, doesn't want to fully commit to you but doesn't want to lose you either. Whether that's done consciously or not, it's quite selfish and doesn't show much thought for your feelings.

Obviously it's up to you how long you wait for her, but there's always a danger that while you hanker after what you can't have, you may not recognise the real deal elsewhere!

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking hope your ankle isn't suffering! That reminds me of the night when I slipped over and broke my ankle in front of a mini-cab office on a night out a few years ago. A group of people I didn't know found me lying in the street and carried me in to the mini-cab office, and waited with me while my own friends turned up.

Despite being in shock and pain (and a little bit drunk) I thought one of the women in the group was lovely, so asked if she wanted my number. She took it - but I never heard from her. To this day I'm not sure whether she just wasn't interested (quite likely), or I gave her the wrong number by mistake due to the state I was in (also quite likely!)

@TigsytheTiger I won't derail this thread as I have posted a couple of others on here about it. But the brief summary is that she is going through a really stressful health/work/legal related issue at the moment and I think she is currently depressed over it (she's been on depression meds for it previously).

The cycle over the last couple of months has been she has a dip and doesn't want to meet up (even struggling to get out of bed and avoiding friends, so not just me). I don't react and we chat normally for a few more days until she feels better, and we meet and have a lovely time for the next 4-6 weeks.

However 2 weeks ago (strange how it feels like much longer) she had another blip, said she didn't know what to do about "us" and felt scared and confused, and I got quite insecure - kept pushing for an answer and she backed off even more. But she's been giving enough signals for me to think she is potentially still interested.

In the meantime, I've decided to continue looking and have one date lined up for Tuesday, and two possibles in the next couple of weeks :)

Thecatwiththehat she's giving you breadcrumbs and nothing more. Also she's said she's ill and your immediate feeling is insecurity Sadly, I don't think this is a great match.

@cat just he aware if this is her cycle it's not good. Can you imagine going through life in this constant up and down state. Get on the other dates 😁

I've been swiping but no one wants to talk to me. Mr Smile messaging a lot, we have a vague plan for next Saturday but I would like to see him before. Dropped hints again but he's not biting so I'm leaving it until he does.

Mr Straight still messaging with hope to meet, I'm not bothered at all now, if he does great, if not no worse than now really.

How often should you see each other at first? Not sure if I'm expecting too much.

It's all about circumstances @bangheadhere40. I can only meet up when child-free, so that's EOW. I think a few of us are the same. I'd love to meet up more often, but that's life.

He did send me a pic on WhatsApp but it said forwarded at the top. Also he mentioned an Italian dish he cooked so I asked what it was but spelled it wrong . He answered with the wrong spelling I’d put and it was a very google reply - it’s an Italian dish.
So I thought stuff it - I’ve asked him to FaceTime me or send me a short video. I said i was worried from some of his replies that he was catfishing me. I’ve got nothing too loose. If he likes me and is genuine, he will and if he is a catfish he won’t. He’s seen the message and just replied that he’s been open and honest and looking for the same kind of friendship and I shouldn’t be questioning him. Think I will write this one up to experience. I might come off match for a bit as this has totally freaked me out.

@bangheadhere40 something pretty major happened at the end of October which triggered the first dip, and then something else happened at the start of December which triggered another one - she said almost exactly the same thing each time, but I just reacted differently and got all needy.

This all should be resolved for her later this summer, so I'm hoping that if we do get through this, then it will just be a temporary thing. She said herself that it's just rubbish timing for her.

In terms of meeting up at first - really depends on circumstances. My last LTR lived 200+ miles away so we only saw each other every couple of weekends when we first got together, then it became pretty much every weekend once we'd had the chat about being an item.

I’m free every other weekend and one night in the week but that varies and my daughters dad can be a pain so I don’t have a lot of time. With mr gray we prob had more time together during Dec than we will going forward as had more time off and kids away with other family etc.

Mr Smile has no plans on weeknights, he may assume I do, I don't know, but he hasn't asked.

I can get my mum to watch them. I could drop another hint about that, but this hint dropping is getting frustrating 😁

@Osbourne, sounds like a catfish

Hints just don’t work with some people

Uh oh @Osborne123 a man you have never even met should not be criticising you and telling you you shouldn't be questioning him that is all wrong! A genuine guy should be trying to impress you at this stage ! Get rid of him quick ! But don't feel you have to leave match because of one bad experience there will be plenty of genuine people on there too ! @TheCatWithTheHat I think you have to go off your actual in person dates and worry less about her texts. How often are you actually seeing each other and how does it go with her when you do see each other, do you get a sense of the relationship actually progressing or are you just going round in circles? Oh yes the dick pics ive only ever had one guy do that to me and he actually had a really small dick so yeah, why would you do that?! and asking men out irl yes I'd like to get better at that too this year I'm not sure if it's my age or the times or just men getting lazier but it seems to be more what they want you to do nowadays. I read a review of a book called the offline dating method which looked good but I've not got around to reading it yet. Going off topic I'm dyeing my hair and it's meant to be blonde but it's looking like it's going to come out really dark! So maybe I'm about to find out what dating is like as a brunette! Who knows maybe I'll have more luck!

Yes I tried to video call and he declined but then phoned me. Said some crap about his camera not working and I think he actually sounded African when I wasn’t fantasising about my Italian hunk. There’s no fool like an old fool.

Just seen an ad on the tv for a dating app called Happn

Even the tv is telling me to do this!