DP acting extremely strange...

[Ishiede]

Over the last few days, I keep catching him crying. He says he is having nightmares a lot, and when I ask what is wrong he says it’s a long story. He is also treating me like I am the enemy and being quite nasty towards me for absolutely no reason. He doesn’t like his job and finances are tough at the moment. I just can’t work out what the problem is. Living with him is unbearable at the moment. I having done anything to give him a reason to be so cruel and nasty towards me. He won’t talk to me and is very bad tempered. What should I do?

Has he mentioned a female colleague at work? I'm so sorry. 💐

Stop chasing him. Tell him you are there for him but not mistreated by him and wont tolerate it.

Do you think there are bigger issues at play? Something he maybe hasnt told you about? Maybe be direct and tell him that he needs to tell you what is going on. Long story or not.

Do not allow him to continue the nasty treatment. You dont deserve it.

Do you have access to all bank accounts?
He sounds scared and my first thought was gambling that has got really out of hand.

Not that anything makes his treatment of you ok of course!

PicsInRed we have had problems with girls at work in the past, but that was years ago. He is always home and never goes out. So I don’t suspect him cheating at all.
He is now walking around saying he is miserable with his life. Creating such a bad atmosphere for the kids.

Could he be depressed? It sounds like a big personality change all of a sudden - worth going to the GP I’d have thought.

The first thing I thought was money problems too, do you have a joint account?

He is in control of all the finances.
He just came downstairs saying “isn’t this always what you wanted? Misery”
No one else is miserable apart from him. We’ve been together a long time. I’m at the point where I’ve had enough and this is tipping me over the edge. If he’s not happy with this life then he can start a new one without me. I’m no ones emotional punching bag.

Tell him what you just posted. Get him out and away from all of you, none of you deserve to live with that shit. If he's genuinely miserable, he needs to get some help.

I will do. He plays strange games also. I asked him earlier if he wanted dinner and he replied no. Now he’s asking what is for dinner. I’ve just ignored him. I’ve actually decided I had enough. When the kids have gone to bed I’m going to tell him. Wish me luck

Good luck he sounds awful.

Good luck

Well let's hope that you telling him you've had enough will push him into telling you what is wrong. Good luck.

Ion think I would be encouraging him to see his GP ASAP it sounds like he is having a mental health crisis. If he won't go then I would go yourself and discuss his behaviour with the GP to see what your options are. But keep yourself and the children safe also

He sounds depressed? You don’t cry over nothing. You need to give him one last chance to tell you, he might not even really know though..I’d be worried for him.

Sounds like he is picking a fight to me. Wants you to start it though cos he is a mere man
Debts he hasn't told you about perhaps?

Has he suffered from depression before? He doesn't sound well.

He is in control of all the finances

Why is that? You could be in all kinds of shit and not know about it.

It's difficult to tell, because he could be very depressed or could be just feeling sorry for himself because he's done something wrong.

I would insist on seeing bank statements online as I think the answer may well be there.

Sounds like he is struggling with him mental health. Tbh he sounds like me. Crying all the time, irritable, taking my anger out on the nearest person (usually DP...) and just generally unhappy with life. He probably needs professional help.

Maybe he has news on his personal life.... Ow /a bfp /debt caught up /

When did this start?

I would be careful about how/when you tell him as if he is really on the edge you don’t know how he will react. Is there anyone you can tell who can be on hand if needed?

Do you work?

Do you have joint accounts?

Why are all finances under his control?

Do you have access to money and or eight do finances?

I’d be lawyering up and finding out what your finances really look like. Do a credit check on yourself in case he’s taken debts out under your name.

Is he depressed?
Money worries?
Affair?
Work pressure?

Sounds like life is getting on top of him.