Dating thread 178 - where we launch into the new year with new hopes

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I find immaturity really wearing and annoying. I do not want someone who goes to the pub 5 nights a week, owns a PlayStation and spends all their money on trainers. But the older guys have a lot of emotional baggage

@Menora see my best friend's husband (hopefully stbxh!) is 37 and he lives on his PlayStation, is completely selfish with money and buys himself new trainers constantly (he's also an abusive twunt). He's far more immature than my FWB tbf 😂

Those ones never grow up. They are like it at 22 and 42

Yeah the bad ones probably just get worse.

Sometimes I wonder what FWB will be like at my age, or 20 years later. I think he'll always be fun and a free spirit.

@shitwithsugaron are you me? I feel the same, I must sound so bloody dull.

I mean tbh I'm prepared to take a pinch of immaturity from a fit 22 yr old with a gorgeous body than an older guy who is looking a bit worn around the edges and is probably still immature and has also got clingy/needy.

I'm well aware I need to grow up 😂

It does feel shallow though @shitwithsugaron but after having sex loads with someone with such a gorgeous body- I want that all the time now 😂

Maybe I just need some fit 20s guy with a lush bod but boring to talk to or something. I could see it working for me 😂 fwb got under my skin because he was so much more than a fit bod. I could probably do fwb who is fit but no substance

Ah see I don’t fancy the youngsters. When I was on fab I was talking to and met a 25 yr old. He was fun and looked like a bloody underwear model. I didn’t fancy him on the slightest. 😂

I’m 37 and want someone between 35 and 49. I prefer a man to look a bit worn around the edges 😂 but I agree they don’t all have their shit together

@shitwithsugaron thats so apt about the reading and Netflix! All the men I see have tons of hobbies and I have my small kids full time, but seeing my FWB every few weeks. Hobbies really are Netflix and reading for me too. Interestingly the men I know in real life don't have anywhere near the hobbies that others talk about online. I wonder if people are just trying to sell themselves

I don’t mind about their body as mine is way less than perfect anyway 😂
I’m 40 next year and my eldest will be 18 so I would feel really weird dating anyone nearer to her age than mine

I’m having a quiet day of contemplation about Mr Moving
I know whatever I say he will try to change/fix so I am really stressing about it. I wish he thought I was a fat ugly bitch 😂

@Marlboroandmalbec34 it's a good thing we all have different tastes 😂

I honestly think I've forgotten that I'm not actually 20 anymore 😂 that's my problem. Mind you when I was younger all my boyfriends were a lot older than me. When I was 16 my boyfriend was 24 (seems so bloody wrong now). We were together til I was 21 though. Then my husband was 6 years older.

I'm keeping my tinder age range from 21-41 I think. I think mid 20s would probably be around best for me 😂

I am really unsure of what I want to be honest

A lot of my exes way back have been high drama type relationships, a lot of breaking up and making up and games and I absolutely hated it. 4 of them were back and forth on and off for almost all my adult life. Obviously we had deep connections but we were so bad for each other we kept just falling back into old patterns. How can you have 4 bloody exes all the same? Mortifying! I only speak to 1 now and we are actually friends nothing more (he’s married).

About 6 years ago I literally got off the merry go round. I deleted all of their numbers and stopped going out locally completely, cut off my unhealthy friend groups. I’m very boring now and happy to meet a boring man. I don’t want to live with him and I don’t want to be heavily involved in his life and I don’t want to counsel him and I don’t want to go to the pub all the time. I love sex and going into the city for the day, walking the dog and watching films. That’s all I want to do

@Menora well he won't think that because you're not so there's no point thinking that 😂 I think you just have to be upfront. It'll work out, you've got to do what's best for you.

See I hate my body too- I'm size 8 but have the wrinkly tum that babies so kindly give you along with a c-section scar. Boobs used to be great but deflated from aforesaid hungry babies.

I thought a fit 22 yr old would be repulsed tbh but he slept with me again and again and for 5 months so obviously not. All he ever did was compliment me too so who knows...

On the hobbies thing men will say they like climbing and what they mean is they went up snowdon with a mate 2 years ago 😂. My hobbies are ferrying my 9 year old to dance lessons and comps and staying out of the way while she has sleepovers 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Feeling really rubbish today, dd’s are at their dads, I’m taking the Christmas decorations down and feeling sad that I will be entering another year on my own. I felt fine over Christmas but now it’s over I don’t feel very positive at all, I hate the next 2 months, the cold weather, me becoming a year older and feeling fat after stuffing my face over Christmas. Went to the gym this morning and watched all the Young fit men which made me feel old and out of shape. I need to update my photos on POF and a Tinder but I can’t even look in the mirror right now let alone take a selfie, I look awful in the winter, I should just hibernate for a few months until the sun returns.

I do have a new iron this morning but he’s not really relationship material as he’s a traveller and doesn’t stay in one place for long. I got fed up with one of my other irons as he messages me too much, calls me sexy and has bought me Xmas gift even though we have never met.

I think I’m just having a bad day, woke up feeling lonely and anxious. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

@Menora you do sound like you know what you want tbf- sex, a bit of straightforward companionship for the things you enjoy. That sounds good tbh! No drama. If you can't see him fitting that then do what is best for you and end it. Not easy at all though, why does everything have to be difficult!

@shitwithsugaron I don't get that either- matching on multiple apps and not talking! Idiots!

@Jane1978xx that's so true on the hobbies thing.

On another similar note anyone else sick of the Pen y Fan photos? And the bloody dogs! And the crap on bios- 'just looking to find someone to get a dog with' and 'looking to exit the single market before the UK does'. Oh fuck off with your dogs and naff brexit jokes.

I'm clearly a right mardy cow 😂

@Lovemusic33 sorry you're feeling crap, I'm the same today. I bloody hate January too. Autumn is lovely but I hate winter. Can't wait for spring to come along.

I’m ok with the dogs!
Perfect man for me is a busy farmer who has a nice dog and is only available one day a week 😂

Menora I wouldn’t mind a farmer with a dog 🤣. I just want someone who’s available once or twice a week, someone who’s good in bed, not selfish in bed, someone who makes me feel a bit special and someone who hasn’t got a load of baggage (crazy ex, 10 kids or no where to live) 🤣, not sure why it’s so hard to find what I’m looking for.

@Menora I mean I'm ok with dogs (I'm no dog lover myself but I can understand people that are) but all the dog photos or crap about getting a dog with someone and 'swipe right for cute dog' or whatever just pisses me off 😂 And especially 'I get on better with animals than people'. Fucking hell way to sell yourself on tinder 😂

Best was the vet I matched with on tinder and enjoyed an argument with- he asked me did I have a dog or something like that and I said no and he just didn't seem to get why someone wouldn't want a dog. Liked animals better than people. Veggie and thought it was cruel to eat animals. I enjoyed winding him up telling him how I was eating a bacon sandwich and was looking forward to eating half a farmyard at Xmas 😂

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn is that the one with the rock ? There’s also the top of snowdon pics - my parents are in their 70s and climb it each year so it’s no achievement boys 😂.

All my apps are off or deleted now and I’ll see what happens with Mr Gray . Seeing him a few times this week I think. We don’t seem to message as much as when we met but I guess that’s normal as we see each other more 🤷🏼‍♀️. And if it’s twice a week overnight technically that’s on 4 days of the week . I’m looking forward to the Xmas period being over and getting back to standard days of dd at her dads and knowing what I’m doing

@Jane1978xx yes the one with the rock. FWB climbs it all the time and says it's a tiny hill so no big deal 😂