Dating thread 178 - where we launch into the new year with new hopes

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@KermitRulesOK when I was pg I remember a stretching sensation across my womb, that was before going the tests. You getting anything like that?

@Eesha my FWB would have been a lot kinder than that. He used to listen to me moan and try make me feel better, give advice where he could. Not loads but we tended to be talking shit and having a laugh most days. But he still helped a bit.

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn little stabby pains which had me googling - did an implantation calendar thing and it said implantation would happen today! Not due on til Tuesday though although you can get a test that would work tomorrow ie up to 6 days before missed AF

@KermitRulesOK we need to get a test to you tonight somehow 😂

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn will be testing first thing in the morning!

Try and relax if you can. It will be what it will be.

@LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn so i don't know if my anger is misdirected. I could message him today and say we are done/on different pages

@Eesha if he messages you every day Ab’s I you are exclusive for months that’s more than a fwb really 🤷🏼‍♀️. I’d expect more of a text unless he sent it very quickly before driving or going to work and follows up later x

@Eesha do you have feelings for him? Or are you managing FWB ok?

I'd expect better from a friend, let alone someone I'm also sleeping with.

Are you ok, @Eesha? Are you safe?

@KermitRulesOK I think I got pregnant on my last coil but it couldn't implant as that's what the coils does? I had a very faint positive line but the next test I did was negative. As it was when I found out I was being cheated on it was just as well really!!

Fingers crossed the result is whatever you want it to be.

@Eesha what is your relationship with fwb like? Are you expecting more from him than a casual relationship?

@Jane1978xx well i ended up having a real go at him this evening and he genuinely didn't realise how he was coming across. He said he was waiting for me to tell him what was happening rather than chasing me. We are exclusive FWBs but I told him if it was any of my friends, they would have checked up on me so I was very hurt he didn't.

@PerfectPretender I'm ok, it's just my ex has such a terrible anger problem, which he can't seem to hide even in public now. My children are small so I need to be there when he sees them but when angry (at tiny things), he screams at me like a dog. I just try and diffuse it and get out asap.

Just catching up.

@KermitRulesOK good luck, I hope you get the result you want.

@eesha he sounds self absorbed. I'm glad you stuck up for yourself. Hopefully he will see sense.

@Menora I can't believe he stalked you on SM after all that! Absolutely report to the dating app you found him on.

Hope you are okay @eesha. More concerned about what you have to deal with with your ex than the FWB.

So mr smile told me he has deleted tinder as he likes me so much. That's good. Chatting all the time, I mentioned this weekend but he has his kids. I want him to ask when we can see each other again, but no mention of it yet.

Does the man normally do this?

No idea @bangheadhere40 I think the only thing that can be guaranteed is that most of them will behave very weirdly 99% of the time! So I wouldn't put too much store by any of it, either him not setting up another date or supposedly deleting tinder! @Eesha your guy sounds a bit useless, it would be nice to have more in the way of emotional support. Is this why you're keeping him as fwb rather than going for an actual relationship with him?

@bangheadhere40. I don’t think there should be what the man does anymore it should be equal. I usually arrange with Mr Gray as he has his kids set days and my data vary. So I’ll say I’m free next week x and x days does that suit

@Stillsexystillsingle yes that's right, he isn't enough of an emotional support which is what I'm looking for in someone long term. When I did explain about why I was hurt, he was great, but he would never reach out with concern. My ex is a very frightening person at times and I have to manage the situation carefully so I know any new man has to be very considerate/there for me more

I checked and his tinder has gone. Yes weird though as I don't get much time kid free, so would be nice for him.to try and plan ahead.

@bangheadhere40 for my own insecurity reasons I've always preferred it when they arrange the dates. I've always found if if I leave it they come back and say they want to see me and make a plan. As things become more established I'm more likely to make a plan but in the beginning I would leave it to them.

Any news @KermitRulesOK

@notcool it's my insecurities too, I think I am going to do just that, I would prefer that anyway.

@notcool, how long did you find it took? for men to sort something out

FWB. A bloody minefield. If I’d known what I was letting myself in for I don’t think I would have started with either of mine. I would say though that if there are no feels at all, you have a FB situation. Great sex and that’s all. No sleepovers. If he is a friend you can reach out to, have a laugh with and have great sex with, that’s a FWB - but only because that’s the label you’ve put on it. Anyone else looking at you would think it was a relationship, just not a very good one.

Sorry for the downer, but I’m feeling massively conflicted. Mr Greedy ‘FWB’ was here last night, supportive, attentive and funny, and absolutely on fire in bed. The L word was being bandied about in the heat of the moment 😳, so the ‘rules’ say I should end it. No way. Gaaahhh!