Dating thread 178 - where we launch into the new year with new hopes

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@UncorrectedDoormat I guess it must be different for everyone, for me it’s feeling a bit sick, bit empty when they’ve gone home etc.

If you’re worried he is developing feelings that you’re not then you really do need to discuss it.

Oh Perfect you'd not be human not to have a nosey - but she's an ex for a reason, and this man is properly making huge efforts to see you! You have nothing to worry about!

Like saltysally says, we don't all agree on the rules for FWBs and FBs on the thread lol I also stayed over night and had coffee and chats with my FWBs and didn't develop feelings, so it's definitely for you to decide how best it will work for you both (and saltysally 😂😂😂😂)

To be fair, when I had n FWB it was with a ex who is also a best friend, there is no right or wrong way as it works differently for everyone. We did exactly what we did as just friends, but added in sex. I only had sex with him, he had sex with multiple others. So there was love you feel for a friend, but not love you feel for a partner.

@Sunshineandflipflops If I say it to him he says "Love you too", but I rarely say it tbh, after what happened back in the early part of the summer - he knows he fucked up big style there so it's still a bit of an elephant in the room. He just seems to have a block over saying it first 🤷‍♀️. Do I feel he loves me? Absolutely 100%, he dotes on me, messages me all the time, always phones me, see each other a few times a week, planned a little holiday for his 40th next month, met all his family, he signed all his Christmas cards and presents from MrC & JeSuis, and talks about our future as if it's a real thing - houses, DD etc. Would I like for him to declare his undying love for me? Absolutely. Does it bother me enough to look elsewhere? Absolutely not. He'll get there in his own good time I'm sure. I'd rather he never tell me that he loves me and have what we've got, than say it and treat me like crap.

MrPlumber asked if I wanted to join him at the gym tonight for a post Christmas workout. Nope 😂 Told him to call me instead if he wants. Need a week or 2 of detox - apparently a chocolate orange does not count towards 1 of your 5 a day?!

Thanks all. We do need to have a chat. I suppose I am worrying that he is getting feelings. But it's hard to tell if I'm getting feelings, for me anyway, until the lust stage is at least starting to fade a bit. It could just be that he's a bit more into the sex side of it than I am. I do like spending time together not in bed as well, and we have a lot in common. I'm just not emotionally available or interested in a proper relationship.

@JeSuisPrest That sounds perfect to me 👌🏼

Showing you he loves you is the most important thing and he is doing that.

Mr Ad received a card from his sister for Xmas to 'my brother and his partner' 😊

Haha @BatshitCrazyWoman

checks Thread rules

Gah! Need a bit of a hand hold - need to pee on a stick as I'm feeling very peculiar, need to get to shop on the way to work tomorrow 😳

Oh my! How are you feeling emotionally?

Really up and down - we dtd literally every day of my fertile window and not just once a day 😳 I think my coil has possibly failed, I think it would be ok but I'm 41!

@KermitRulesOK wow, it will be ok whatever happens 💐

We are here. It must feel quite a shock to even consider!

Holding your hand, Kermit

Hand holding kermit

jesuis he sounds wonderful. I would much rather have actions than words.

Salty aren’t all FWBs part time?

I don’t think I can do FWB. I loved having dinner and sleepovers with Mr Big and the intimacy of it all but they does lead to attachment and feelings. I won’t do it again as I cannot compartmentalise and sex without the cuddly sleepovers would feel cold to me.

@marlbs he lives overseas so would only see him for about two weeks a month.

Mr Hair has asked for another date. Will see what happens....

@KermitRulesOK do you know how similar sperm and tadpoles look? Sorry couldn't help myself. Hope all goes the way you want it to.

@saltysally lol! Alarmingly similar! Won't tell Mr M until I've at least done a test and found out for sure. I have a feeling he'll be over the moon but I'm going through every scenario if I am...coupled with the fact we have been together for 3 months and I'm not quite divorced just yet

@KermitRulesOK don't say anything til you know. Plenty of handholding on this thread.

I do believe that though, things always tend to work out.

If you have a coil @KermitRulesOK it would be highly unlikely you are pregnant. What has made you feel you might be? I'd have to find a 24 hour Tesco and get a test!

@Notcoolmum I would too. Is it too early to test @KermitRulesOK?

Mind you I just knew each time. With my second a test came back negative and I knew it was wrong. Third time i was completely certain before the test.

@Notcoolmum the very weird feeling I had when pg with my DD. Also I can't feel the strings of it...I'm hoping my brain has put 2 and 2 together and coming up with 10.

Slightly off topic here but can anyone tell me if I'm being irrational here. My ex is very abusive and today raged at me in public because our toddler was upset. It was very stressful but I managed to get myself home and away from it all and now just sitting here stressed. Sent a text to FWB who I've been seeing exclusively for months, he replied with 'that's bad' but nothing else. I feel very upset that he doesn't seem to care at all and am tempted to say we are done tomorrow when he will message me his usual good morning.

If it wasn't for DD sleeping upstairs then I would be at ASDA on the corner about now!