Dating thread 178 - where we launch into the new year with new hopes

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Also, the more we get to know eachother and feel comfortable with each other, the better the sex gets. I mean, it wasn't bad or anything but it's quite literally bed breaking now 😂😂😂

Oh my Lord, typos! I hope you can understand my garbled posts...no idea who the f Janice is...

Maybe vile is strong but I can't stand this kind of behaviour- it's one thing that makes my skin crawl. It just seems to be so completely desperate and clingy and shows a complete lack of self awareness and boundaries. The pressuring you to go to dinner, saving him a kiss, bleeeurgh!

@Menora I don't think you're cold at all I think you have completely reasonable boundaries and expectations. If both people want to jump headfirst like him well that's fine but it's completely normal to not be like that too.

TheCat

It’s been 6 weeks or so
We had a great first date and then a very quick 2nd one literally the next day then 3/4 times a week since. After date 2 he wanted to go exclusive. He has also said he used to be ‘needy’. I made it really clear I don’t do needy so I know this is him trying to repress his needy side 😂

Guys there are bits I didn’t tell you all because I knew they were red flags 😂

So on 4th date we went into the city day drinking (him) and sightseeing (me) and hours and hours later I was so tired I said let’s go home. So we got a train back and he said did I want to go watch a film at his. I did, but he then took me to a rammed Wetherspoons where we got 2 more drinks but I was too tired for mine so he drank it. Got in cab eventually. Got to driveway of his house. I’m tired, been drinking and cold.

On the driveway as he’s putting key into door he says ‘by the way my mum lives here too at the moment, she will go to bed soon don’t worry’ so I step into the house and meet his mum in her PJ’s. Who sleeps in the room next to him.

I never addressed with him why he dropped such a big thing on me the way he did 😂

Who is Janice? 😂😂😂😂😂

Well done @shitwithsugaron!

As predicted he has kicked off. I wanted to end it amicably without resorting to blocking because we had not fallen out and I’m not at risk of giving in to him

Good for you Sharon

@Menora What do you mean by "kicked off"?

He is saying essentially

I am a great guy and you have played me

Yes, all the great guys have to remind you of that fact, don't they. 🙄

He says I will only get sex from OLD and no one as nice as him with his feelings

Although he said sorry for pressuring me He didn’t once really acknowledge what I am actually saying is that he keeps telling me I am doing something wrong and telling me how I do or don’t feel. He is always assuming how I am feeling or what I will do. My first message was so nice with no blame, just that we are very different

He doesn't sound nice in the slightest.

@Menora I really hope you're ok 💐

I don't take it back- he IS vile- mind games, control, trying to make you think there's something wrong with YOU, telling you how you're feeling.

Honestly block him- he's awful.

@Menora when he’s sending you the desparate messages is he drinking at home ? Sounds like he is a low level functioning alcoholic as well

I don’t know to be honest. He was going to drive on the date he arranged but I don’t know if he would have already been drinking

He said my texts ‘don’t read great’ if I look back and I’ve looked back. The only time I really went quiet on him was Sunday, which was the day when he had kept me awake all night snoring and I was in no mood to make chit chat.

But he can see I have been on bumble and he’s been checking on me. I had unmatched him and hid my profile but back on on Monday for the first time. He’s got me on that count but I don’t know how he can see me 😭😂

Lovely updates Kermit.

I'm not staying at Mr BCs - I have work tomorrow so am home. His friends were lovely and have already texted him to say they like me The last relationship I had the guy kept me completely separate from the rest of his life so it feels nice that he wants me to be in his!

The house/photos thing is tricky - he asked me several times if I was okay about it and said that he understood that going to the house and meeting his friends was a Big Thing. I am leaving saying anything about the photos just now - but I will say something if he asks me to stay. Because his SDC (who are in their 20s) live at the house and are not especially receptive to the idea of meeting me (one more than the other) then we have met at mine or been away for lots of lovely weekends.

@Menora so to have seen you on Bumble, he must also be back on?!

Oh bloody hell Menora I agree with everyone else - he isn't nice at all - telling you how you're feeling is way out of line! I would send a firm but polite text to say that your mind is made up and then block. I hope you're okay

Well done Shitwith glad you had a good time. I don't really do pubs but I love to go to the cinema on my own.

menora does he have another account or did you come up again for him as you unmatched but didnt block

He made a new account to catch me

He is actually admitting this stuff!