Dating thread 178 - where we launch into the new year with new hopes

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Menora I know it seems really harsh on NYE but I don't see that you've got much of a choice but to do it now.

He will (hopefully) respect the honesty at least rather than making excuses about not seeing him tomorrow or whatever.

@ menora perfect opportunity there to tell him no.i think he will he fine with it going by that text

@Menora I was going to agree with the others but I think given that text, you are going to have to rip off the plaster. I would just call him and say you've had fun but he's a bit much and it just isn't for working for you. It's unfair on both of you to keep stringing it out

Well I met Mr Foot. He was nice looking, interesting, clever until he brought up hid foot fetish. I detest feet. It wouldn’t work so I said goodbye 😂

@Marlboroandmalbec34 what is it with feet? I've been on dates with guys with foot fetishes. I mean there's a whole lot weirder out there I guess!

I am trying to date but scared to use an app. Left my ex 1 year ago after almost 8 years and before him I was with someone for 6 years. So apps etc. are all unknown territory for me.

This year I've met a lot of guys and been on quite a few dates and had a very casual relationship for a few weeks at the start of 2019 but the first time I've had a true spark was with someone I met on Sunday. It was a blind (ish) date.

He he I’m not very nice. Mr Dynamic stood me up (effectively - two hours before the first date he messaged ‘well you can go to the pub but I won’t be there’!) in the summer as he’d met someone else. I deleted and moved on. We matched on Tinder yesterday, it all went tits up apparently and he’s alone on NYE (like me). I am relishing schadenfreude I’m afraid 😂

Aw @Menora definitely let his one go. Let him move on to find someone that appreciates his attention.

@TigerDater what a rude knob head he was. Just block and ignore would be my advice. Don't start 2020 with negative energy.

Menora I agree you need to end it now. At this early stage you should.be ridiculously excited to see him and not having feelings of dread when he suggests having dinner together! You can do it kindly. But I would do it soon.

Hmmm notcool you make a good point. I’m tempted to let his last message sit there on Tinder for a few hours like a bad smell then unmatch him early evening, if he doesn’t unmatch first. Is that game-playing? Or just desserts?

I think I would send "whoops! Clumsy fingers. Sorry" wait for him to see it then unmatch...

@menora he is begging you to be honest there, take the opportunity

@Menora yeah he's giving you an easy out and I think he knows what the answer will be. Just let him down gently with had a nice time but don't think it will work long term type message, dont think you need to explain he's a bit too much or needy.

Saw an interesting dating tip on redditch that even if someone cancels a date they person still goes to the place answer does something. I quite like that.

@frenchlady14 maybe the quantity is less but the quality is higher for you?

salty your tip got a bit garbled there (or maybe it’s me!). I’d like to hear it?

@tigerdater yes thank you. Mr Hair and I could have potential but it's early days

Like you I normally go for the older men. I like the confidence and experience that often comes with age.

Oh FFS sorry

If an iron cancels a date on you, you should still go to the place so you still have a new experience and aren't putting your life on hold.

Hmm. I honestly don’t remember what I did when his nibs cancelled. Probably heaved a sigh of relief - I’d just got back from a five day festival and was knackered, so bed rather than a lonely drink in a pub called!

I think that's awful advice you read ghee @saltysally I would never go to a cancelled date. Maybe take myself off or do something else. But not where I was supposed to meet someone who decided I wasn't worth their time.

Think that may have come across a bit literal! It didn't mean go and sit in the exact same place, more going and doing something, and breaking out of current patterns.

I'm going to try it and also see if in an appropriate place I can strike up a bit of a conversation with a stranger. I want to change a lot of my social life to real life chat so the interaction will be good for me.

Clear, concise wording. You're a nice guy, but no thanks

I've been on POF for two weeks, I think I have 4 dates sort of planned?

Turned down a few more.

One for Saturday, Thursday and need to fit in two others. We'll see lol

A couple I am quite interested in meeting, others I fear might be a bit bland for me

I've got myself an iron ! He liked me on match, I liked him back, then I noticed he said in his profile his favourite city is Florence, that's my favourite city too, so I messaged him to tell him and to wish him a happy new year, and he messaged me back to thank me and wish me well .. I'm going to message him back but tomorrow now I think, I don't want to ruin what potentially might be something by being over keen! I'm going to call this one Mr author.