Anyone moved in together after a very short time

[caranxy]

Been talking online 6 months. Live 2 hours away. Met up for whole weekend , it was bliss.
He's mentioned me moving in with him (I'm going through divorce so will be leaving the family home soon anyway) I could move away (older kids who don't live with me and I work from home).

Heart says life's too short so go for it, head says whoa really too soon.

Anyone else just knew and took the chance?

Silly idea. Partnership is only possible when you actually know each other. Wait. Understand what each other wants from the relationship. Understand each other’s core values and lifestyle. Have weekends and holidays. Do mundane together.
Sounds like a recipe for another failed relationship and possibly more single parenting.

Six weeks. Recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.

You are insane to even consider this - you don't know him! He's not a 'friend of a friend' as they haven't met him either

Yes, my ex moved in after 3 months. Showered me with gifts and weekends away. Ended up marrying and had 2 children. It was the most horrific marriage and took me years after the divorce to recover my self esteem. Bizarrely I don't regret it now as I can't really imagine not having my children but if I went back in time and had the chance to change things - I just don't think I could go through it all again. My advice would be slow down. You say you've got nothing to lose. You have EVERYTHING to lose - your friends, your independence, your confidence, your self esteem, the list is endless. There's no rush. If it's going to work out, it will. Enjoy getting to know him, slowly, without tying yourself to someone who may not be who he seems. The trouble with abusive relationships is that they sneak up on you, and before you know it you're financially enmeshed, a shell of your former self and leaving seems like a hurdle you just can't get over.

yes, i moved in with my partner after 6 months, but id known him since childhood so we did kind of know each other pretty well. living with him did take it to a whole new level though and it has probably caused us some problems that we wouldnt have had to go through if we hadnt moved in together and we have at times questioned whether we did things too quickly, cos honestly i think you never know what a persons really like like until you've lived with them. our honeymoon period ended pretty fast, but saying that we've been together 4 years were very happy, have made a lovely home together. instead of throwing in the towel and deciding to live separately we learned to work through things- which positive side it has probably made our relationship stronger.

Is 10 days a short time? Well it worked for me - still together 36 years later (and very happy!)

Yes but we were already flatmates, we just moved intro a place that we didn't have to share with 3 other people. I wouldn't do it otherwise though, why is he in such a hurry to live with you?

We did, we just kind of fell into it. I was staying at his more and more. We’d known each other a few months. We were going out together, but nothing serious. His mate had pretty much cleared his flat and left without paying months of rent (It was my now DHs dads flat so DH had to come up with £350 quid, a lot of money in 1985) our first Christmas was spent in an empty living room, sat on cushions and a microwave where the tele should’ve been...oh happy memories
34 years on we still laugh about those times. We had FA but it bonded us.
Sorry got sidetracked...Back to your question OP and in your circumstance, yes I think it’s far too soon to move in with someone you barely know.

@caranxy here is a good news story for you- I met my husband in a platonic way and spent a weekend where nothing happened at all...except we got on very well. We then called each other most nights (on the phone, how old fashioned!) for a few months as he lived too far away to visit. 3 months later we had been calling and knew we were falling in love (via long distance- still no contact) and arranged to meet. Spent one week together and he met my children and we realised we were physically compatible... got engaged a month after that and married less than a year after originally meeting. By the time we’d married we had spent around 6 weeks physically together. We now have two more children and have been married for 12 years. Life is indeed too short to hang around sometimes when you know, you know.

9 days ago you were posting about "tearing your hair out" if he didn't reply to your texts straight away and asking if you were needy! Your answer to that is to move in??

Come on now.

I met my ex-H at work. We dated for three months then moved in. We are now almost divorced. It's only since the marriage ended that I realise what a stupid mistake it was. Yes, we have two amazing children, but I see now that we just filled a gap in our lives for each other. The marriage was emotionally abusive towards the end and very toxic. We separated three years ago, after 20 years together.

I've now been dating someone I met on OLD for 16 months. He doesn't live near me, but we make a huge effort to see each other and speak most days. I've never met anyone quite like him, but due to my experience with my marriage I have no desire to rush into anything. We have something very special which we both acknowledge, but we just enjoy the fun bits - days out and weekends away. I couldn't wish for anything more.

How long have you been separated for OP? You really do need to give yourself time to heal and be yourself. I have dated on and off since my ex-H left me. I've been lovebombed, ghosted, the lot. Just like many others on here. What I have done is give myself time to heal. Enjoy the dating for what it is. If you like this man, and he likes you, you'll find a way to make a long distance relationship work. And who knows how it will pan out in the future.

Sorry but that's insane, you have no idea who this person is

He's a friend of a friend (although my friend has never met him)
What does this even mean? How can your friend be friends with him if they have never met? I understand people form 'friendships' online, but how can you even know if people are who they purport to be? So this man is still a random person who your friend rather than you met online?

Please don't be a fanny, and don't do this. Normal people tend not to.

I did, we’d known each other over a year, spent some weekends together in the interim, I didn’t know him at all. I moved 120 miles to be with him. He was an abusive twat. We got married quite quickly and it went down hill from there. It took me 11 years to get away and another 6 to get my life back on track after that.

No no no, don’t do it.

No one falls in love faster than a narcissist needing somewhere to live/share bills with!

Saying that, DH moved in with me after two meetings (one of them we spent a week together). We had spoken to each other online as friends for a year before. We've been together for 10 years now, married, kids etc.

However. I was in my 20s and a complete fucking idiot. Lucky it turned out well for us, but the odds were stacked against it. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else and I'd never do it again (if we split or anything).

Provided you are not financially dependent on him, don't plan on having children and are able to exit easily because all your eggs are not in one basket (controlled by him), then go for it. It's the best way of getting to know someone properly and deciding whether it's likely to last.

Maybe I was lucky; My DH came over one evening after we had been chatting via text for a few days and he just never left (well except for work - I didn't keep him handcuffed to the bed or anything lol). We married a few years later and are still together with DC
Not everyone is an abuser/bully/twat.

Sort of. We bought a house jointly within a year of getting together. But I’d already known him as a friend for almost 4 years before we started dating. (We’re still together 17 years later).

He's not a friend of a friend if your friend has never met him.

I don't understand women who seem to need to jump from relationship to relationship. Presumably a divorce is quite a traumatic life event to go through, why not take some time for yourself and relearning how to be alone instead of moving in with a man you've barely met?

Yes. We moved in together almost immediately. We were in our early 20s and spending loads of time together! I didn’t wanna go home and he didn’t want me t go either so I just stayed..

Now it’s been 7+ years and we’re still happy and have a beautiful child together! I can work.

Sorry that last line was suppose to say It can work.

Good luck OP!

Went on a date, he stayed the night and never went home again.
Been together 22 years now.

Don't do it - I did and am now trapped financially. If it's the "real" thing moving in can wait until you know each other better.

My friend knows a married couple who are also friends with my bloke . My friend has been fb friends with my bloke for about 4
years.