Anyone moved in together after a very short time

[caranxy]

Been talking online 6 months. Live 2 hours away. Met up for whole weekend , it was bliss.
He's mentioned me moving in with him (I'm going through divorce so will be leaving the family home soon anyway) I could move away (older kids who don't live with me and I work from home).

Heart says life's too short so go for it, head says whoa really too soon.

Anyone else just knew and took the chance?

caranxy good idea. Spend a lot more time together before deciding anything. We spent every weekend together from the weekend we met until we moved in together. We lived in different cities initially but DH was only seconded to the branch he was at and expecting to return to his own location over 500 miles/ a short flight or a 9 hour drive away after 3 months. We still saw one another every weekend and then he got a new job and both moved to a new location where we could both commute to work from together.

If you're only 2 hours away you're not at moving in together stag if you're only making the effort to be physically together very occasionally.

We moved in together after 3 months and have now been married for almost 10 years. I did meet him through close friends so he was kind of 'pre-vetted' not to be a weirdo though - you are thinking about moving in with a random man you met online who you've only seen face to face once which seems a bit foolhardy to me.

We moved in after six weeks but had no dependent children and lived in the same city. It was an arrangement of convenience really, as we both needed somewhere to be.

It didn't work out well in the sense we're no longer together and he mugged me off completely (cocklodger) for a good year. I was blind to it and we limped on for another 5 years and had a child. I ignored the glaringly obvious red flags that he needed 'rescuing' and someone to support him and when I needed support later down the line he couldn't be arsed.

However - we knew each other, saw each other everyday, worked together, knew each other's friends etc. Frankly, you know only what this man has told you - and you've only met once. What's the rush? Get to know him in person.

Yes, and I regret doing it. It accelerated the relationship in an unhealthy way and I ended up being trapped.

Yep, same here.

No. Just no.
Get your own place. Enjoy your freedom. If you want to persist with this man, take your time.
Don’t put yourself in a potentially bad situation that would be hard to get out of.

What is the rush? He’s a stranger to you.

Think on it as well, is it possible that you move in and he financially supports you and you make yourself at home...but it just isn't working? But you don't want to move out because 'then I'd have to go and live with my mum and I'd have no money, besides I like my new home and don't want to leave it'. Could you see that happening?

Even if he isn't nasty, you could get too comfortable in a place that is just wrong for you.

I knew DH for two years causally as a friend probably met up a dozen times in a group . We met for a coffee one day , went for a drink and I never went home . That was in1971 . Married 1975. 3 children , 3 grandchildren . Still married and happy .

Moved in after 3 weeks. Worst thing I’ve ever done. Exactly as people have described on here. Controlling abuser. What was I thinking. Thankfully moved him out after 4 months. Don’t do it!

I moved in with now DH 3 months after getting together, but we'd known each other IRL for around 6 years before that, we both were young and had no ties/children etc. My mother married a man she met online after 3 months when I was a teen and he turned out to be an absolute dick and I still resent my mum for it now. When you've got children, even adult children, you can't do foolish things like this.

"Yes, and I regret doing it. It accelerated the relationship in an unhealthy way and I ended up being trapped."

Me too - and in such a complicated way.
You think you'll just move out if it doesn't work but i got confused into thinking each problem that came up would be fixable if i just tried hard enough.i think this maybe quite understandable post-divorce? When you believe you've found love again, it's agony to give up on that. The relationship also wrecked my confidence and self-esteem so i didnt have the nerve to walk away

I spent over 3 years trying to make it work (it never could have) and the past 18 months trying to find a way out - since we bought a house along the journey (thinking a 'real home' would help!) and now can't sell.

If i hadn't moved in so quickly none of this would have happened.

My friend did this after talking to a guy online. Met him and moved in. We were horrified, but he was the kindest, most caring, loving man on the planet and she wished she'd met him years ago.

She's no spring chicken and has form for living with useless man, rushing in but never as quick as this. She went on and on about how wonderful he was, I started to believe she had met the one. He cooked dinners, bought gifts, loved her to pieces etc and the photos on FB, Insta of the two of them loved up continued for months and they announced their engagement! Yes they got engaged after 3 months.

9 months later she was fleeing his house with him in a police cell for domestic abuse. He was a bastard who had put her in A&E twice before and she'd kept it secret.

There's a saying that fools rush in where angels fear to tread. I said that to her at the time and she laughed and brushed it off with you only live once.

He hounded her afterwards and she had to get the police in again and applied under Claire's Law to see his past. He'd done this before to 4 other women and tried to strangle one and stabbed another.

She still does not understand that men can be charming in the beginning as she's falling for the next idiot online.

@caranxy he could be really lovely & the perfect man for you. Just be aware of your vulnerability & get to know him properly first before you move in. Please x

he's got a good job, own house , grandkids and a daughter he sees regularly

How exactly do you know this? Did he tell you?

He's a friend of a friend (although my friend has never met him) I didn't meet him through OLD.

Hysterical bonding. That is all.

That doesn't make sense caranxy have you ever met your friend? Has the meaning of friend evolved to mean online personna with whom I chat?

He isn't a friend in the real world sense if your friend hasn't met him!

Is he someone who Facebook (or other similar social media platform) friended your Facebook (or similar) friend despite not having met her?

What would you advise your own children in this circumstance?

Have you met his adult daughter?

Anybody else get the impression the OP isn’t listening?

It’s your life OP and you can ultimately do what you like. If you move in with is man immediately, then there’s a small chance it may all work out and you’ll all live happily ever after. But there’s also a (much greater) chance it will be an utter car crash at a high emotional cost to you.

It’s rarely a good idea to make any life-altering decision on the spur of the moment. If it’s meant to be, then he’ll still be around in 18 months when you’re both properly sure, won’t he?

Your friend obviously doesn’t know him either if she has never met him!

Is he like, smoking hot or something? Because I'm sure we've all made some serious errors in judgement for a pretty face lol. I can't think why else you would want to take a risk like this other than thinking with your nether regions (again, not judging for that haha).

Unless, like pp said, it's to get back at/get over the partner you are divorcing in some way? Like saying 'hey, this other guy desires me, hence, I am desirable'. Like a self esteem thing.

We did after 2 months, but then we were seeing each other and sleeping at each other's every day of those 2 months. We also worked in the same office block so it made sense to commute together. Married 13 years now.

TwoOneBravo she did say she won't pack her bags yet and was hoping for feel good stories but sees there aren't many, to be fair. She's listening a bit...

The main thing is this is an online relationship with someone she's met once, not a short relationship with someone she's been physically with on a regular basis and knows well through solid, non virtual work or family or friendship connections in common, and the person vouching for him has never met him!

Don't you want to enjoy the dating stage? Your relationship will go from thrilling to mundane in double quick time if you live together.

Dh and I moved in together after 3 months. I lost my flat and had no other option tbh. Years later we're very happily married with 2 dc but we think the honeymoon period would've lasted longer had we continued to have our own places.

Yeah the dating is the good bit! You'll be cooking his dinner and washing his pants if you move in now. Why skip the fun part for the wifework?