I am SO CROSS right now

[MrsBobBlackadder]

I’m so tired of being married to a manchild.

We’re due to go away tomorrow to family for a week. I said to my husband earlier today that I would ring our pet sitting (well, pet visiting) company just to double check the arrangements that he had made a month or two (at his suggestion) ago. All good.

As it happened i got dragged into various meetings at work and couldn’t call them, so I asked him to which he (begrudgingly) did. I heard nothing back so called him just now; apparently there has been a problem - they had no record of our booking (ie he fucked it up) and they actually now cannot visit our animals on either Christmas or Boxing Day.

I am absolutely livid with him and am so pissed off that he has put us in this situation. His line is that our animals (cats) will be fine; but it’s me that will end up having to provide instructions for the pet sitters on Christmas Eve so that our animals are fed and happy. There’s no way that I can leave them so long - I’m going to have to drive back on Boxing Day morning now to check they’re okay (assuming he’s actually managed to put me on the car insurance like he said he would - I doubt it). He just says ‘oh they’ll be fine’ and tells me that I’m basically ridiculous for ‘worrying so much’.

I hate him so much right now. Wtf would have happened if I hadn’t asked him to call them?! He’s trying to call me but I am so angry. This is just the latest in a long line of things he’s ‘forgotten’ to do. And he’s just said that I’m being an arse 🤬

Sorry, this isn’t really a question, more a vent 😩

Sorry op nothing I can really do to help but that is infuriating

I bet he never bothered to do it in the first place. Sorry you're with such a fucking moron op.

Holidays and traveling are stressful times for everyone.
Mistakes like that happen and it’s not really his fault IF he did in fact made that reservation, which I guess you won’t know.

But as a long term car owner - I’d say cats are at best not notice and at worst disturbed by strangers coming to their space.
So they can easily be on their own for two days - provided you leave around enough food/water , and maybe an extra litter tray.

Have a good Xmas !

I understand why you’re angry. I wouldn’t want to leave my cats for that long without someone going in to check on them/feed them at least once a day. When we’re away we get someone to go in in the evening and set a timer for the next morning. Do you have a relative or friend who wouldn’t mind popping in? Or maybe a neighbour who’d do you a favour? X

Just a suggestion:he stays sober enough on Christmas day,i.e. stops drinking early in the day,moderates his intake,so he is fit to drive to check on his cats on Boxing Day.They are his cats too are they not?

Why will you be the one driving back on Boxing Day to feed the cats?

Thanks all. He did say 'I guess I forgot to book it properly', so it was his error.

If it was a one-off I would be more forgiving. But this kind of thing happens time and time again.... and then he gets stroppy and says that I don't trust him to do stuff (yeah funny that) 😩

Get a feeder that opens with a timer to cover those 2 days, they will manage.

Your DH however, yep, that is fucking irritating. I used to be married to a man where I felt like his mother more than his partner. Note the word 'used'. It's very very unattractive and I suspect this is just the latest in a very long line of stuff that you have to deal with.

Why are you responsible for fixing his mess?!

@Lemonandgin Because I genuinely don't trust him to check on them properly 😩

He just says ‘oh they’ll be fine’

He says so confidently because he knows you will fix it and make sure they’re fine. What he really means is “this isn’t my problem, Im fine”

and tells me that I’m basically ridiculous for ‘worrying so much’.

Tell him that you have to worry double because you’re doing the worrying he is supposed to do.

If your husband really can't check on a cat then you need to leave him. I'm sure he can. Let him do it.

Okay, he fucked up the 'cat sitting' arrangements, hardly think its worth being livid about...

Why are you fixing it for him? Surely he drives back and checks on the animals.

But this kind of thing happens time and time again....

Because I genuinely don't trust him to check on them properly 😩

Ok, so know what he's like, you accept and enable it.

Put up or shut up.

@tadda did you read what I wrote? If I hadn't checked (or made him check) they would have been without food for six days!!! They didn't have any record at all of the booking

Is he capable of holding a job?

Why are you with him ?

Yes he has a job. I asked him if he was inefficient at work. He said that was different because he got paid there

(What a dick)

@Lemonandgin harsh, but fair. You are right

Fucking wanker.
My ex used to say "It'll be fine" for every single thing in life, but it isn't bloody fine and it will never be fine until he gets his shit together.
The ex (we're divorced) has got himself into about £50,000 worth of debt since he left three years ago.
I want to send a strippagram round there to sing the "It isn't fine is it song"

Ah so something is only worth bothering with if he gets paid? how about the fact he chose to raise two living creature and that comes with the responsibility of feeding them. Otherwise they die. Painfully.

Wow. So he's deliberately fucking things up at home because he thinks it's beneath him and therefore your grunt work to do?

He said that was different because he got paid there

Oh wow.

Basically can't be arsed, doesn't care, expects you to do it all.

Fuck that noise.

If this was a one off mistake, then I'm sure OP wouldn't be quite so livid about it!

The fact it's just the latest in a long line of similar messes is significant.

I'm not sure I'd be able to be happy with someone that unreliable TBH.

I have cats, I agree they will be OK for 2 days if enough food & water is left for them. But the 6 days they would have been alone if OP hadn't thought to check the booking would be something else!!