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Original poster

I am SO CROSS right now

130 replies

MrsBobBlackadder · 20/12/2019 17:56

I’m so tired of being married to a manchild.

We’re due to go away tomorrow to family for a week. I said to my husband earlier today that I would ring our pet sitting (well, pet visiting) company just to double check the arrangements that he had made a month or two (at his suggestion) ago. All good.

As it happened i got dragged into various meetings at work and couldn’t call them, so I asked him to which he (begrudgingly) did. I heard nothing back so called him just now; apparently there has been a problem - they had no record of our booking (ie he fucked it up) and they actually now cannot visit our animals on either Christmas or Boxing Day.

I am absolutely livid with him and am so pissed off that he has put us in this situation. His line is that our animals (cats) will be fine; but it’s me that will end up having to provide instructions for the pet sitters on Christmas Eve so that our animals are fed and happy. There’s no way that I can leave them so long - I’m going to have to drive back on Boxing Day morning now to check they’re okay (assuming he’s actually managed to put me on the car insurance like he said he would - I doubt it). He just says ‘oh they’ll be fine’ and tells me that I’m basically ridiculous for ‘worrying so much’.

I hate him so much right now. Wtf would have happened if I hadn’t asked him to call them?! He’s trying to call me but I am so angry. This is just the latest in a long line of things he’s ‘forgotten’ to do. And he’s just said that I’m being an arse 🤬

Sorry, this isn’t really a question, more a vent 😩

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 20/12/2019 21:29

I wouldn't go to his family for Christmas, and I'd use the few days alone to evaluate if you want to spent the rest of your life mothering your husband.

This. And I'd make damn sure his family knew that's why you were staying home.

Heartburn888 · 20/12/2019 21:29

In future just do it yourself. At least you know it will be done and done properly.

Sorry you have to deal with this

category12 · 20/12/2019 21:30

No, DrMorbius - if you have pets, you have a responsibility to them - you don't leave them for 6 days without proper arrangements. That's called neglect.

diddl · 20/12/2019 21:34

Is it possible that the mistake was on the side of the pet visitors & not him?

Either way, I'd be tempted to cancel & stay home.

Or come back Monday/tues in time to pick a bit of food up & have some lovely time without him.

Loveablers · 20/12/2019 21:40

@DrMorbius

How about another perspective. They are cats. They will survive perfectly happily without you. Let them out and forget them. Cats are not kids. Not having kids, doesnt mean, you put the same emotional energy into some other random object (cat). You chose Op to waste the emotional energy. Your DP rightly doesn't see cat sitting as a priority

Are you actually for real?! What a horrid person you are!

The second you take on a pet you accept the responsibility that comes with it! You’re an absolute moron and I pray to god you never have an animal

DrMorbius · 20/12/2019 22:00

The second you take on a pet you accept the responsibility that comes with it

Do you mean the responsibility to take a wild animal and socialise and domesticated it. Would you advocate doing that with a Lion or hyena just it makes you feel good. Humans have destroyed a whole social order in many countries. There are 300-600 million cats in the world of which around 100 million have been domesticated by the eco scourge of the planet (humans).

Clymene · 20/12/2019 22:04

This is the relationship board Dr Morbius. Did you mean to post here or in Militant Vegan Corner?

Thelnebriati · 20/12/2019 22:05

I'm going to give a slightly different opinion, and say that its very common for abusers to target your pets. I'd be concerned that he is escalating.

DrMorbius · 20/12/2019 22:11

@Clymene.
Big picture.

Singlenotsingle · 20/12/2019 22:15

Tell him he'll have to come back and sort the animals out. Tell him to take photos so you can see they're ok.

BustPipes · 20/12/2019 22:27

I don't know what's going on with you and your partner, but I know me and mine are both very far from perfect, and I know that if he told me what to do, I'd get quite seriously angry, and if I told him what to do, he'd be the same.
If you want to tell him what to do, and how to do it, then don't be surprised if he doesn't jump when you say how high. If he can't look after himself, and can't be arsed to contribute to your joint life, then LTB.

Whatever you do, don't waste your life fighting with your partner because he was inefficient about the cats. Seriously, just don't.

Beamur · 20/12/2019 23:13

A cat is not a random object.
It's a living thing, one you have responsibility for when you get one.
Sure, not everyone likes having them.
But if I was in a relationship with someone who had the attitude towards them displayed by one of the posters on this thread, then I'd be reconsidering if my partner and I had the same fundamental values.

aroundtheworldyet · 20/12/2019 23:19

@DrMorbius
GrinGrinGrinCrown Grin

AnyFucker · 20/12/2019 23:21

If these are house/domesticated cats it is very cruel to be dismissive about them potentially being neglected for 6 whole days. I find that shocking.

FinallyHere · 20/12/2019 23:56

and that he would have definitely contacted them If I hadn't reminded him

So what would he have done, when he called to check and no booking was found?

#teamstayathone

ConfCall · 21/12/2019 00:06

You’ve had good advice about the management of the cats. However, the problem is much deeper ie whether you can bear to be with this childish man. Only you can decide.

incognitomum · 21/12/2019 00:15

Stay home and have a cosy Christmas with your babies Xmas Smile

BumbleBeee69 · 21/12/2019 00:21

There's a name for that - gaslighting.

CORRECT

Costacoffeeplease · 21/12/2019 00:42

If it helps, I hate him too op

He doesn’t give a shit so why should you?
Stay home with the cats, they sound much better company, and more intelligent than your dickhead partner

burgerrings · 21/12/2019 02:39

So he gaslights you too.

Please don't have kids with him unless you want to be 100% responsible for the kids, house and pets while being mind fucked by him.

Taddda · 21/12/2019 02:48

I agree with the pp, it very much sounds like gaslighting - theres a bigger problem here- I'd stay at home with your cats if I were you, he didnt sort the sitting out, his fault, not yours - take the opportunity to do what you want to do at Christmas!

KatherineJaneway · 21/12/2019 03:07

He's a waste of space. Get rid.

How about another perspective. They are cats. They will survive perfectly happily without you. Let them out and forget them.

Goady bollocks.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/12/2019 03:25

You've got only one life, op. You sure are wasting it.

Eminado · 21/12/2019 03:25

Please don't have children with this man. Honestly PLEASE don’t.

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/12/2019 03:52

You are evaluating your relationship right now. Don’t get caught up in the fallacy of sunk costs.

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