I am SO CROSS right now

[MrsBobBlackadder]

I’m so tired of being married to a manchild.

We’re due to go away tomorrow to family for a week. I said to my husband earlier today that I would ring our pet sitting (well, pet visiting) company just to double check the arrangements that he had made a month or two (at his suggestion) ago. All good.

As it happened i got dragged into various meetings at work and couldn’t call them, so I asked him to which he (begrudgingly) did. I heard nothing back so called him just now; apparently there has been a problem - they had no record of our booking (ie he fucked it up) and they actually now cannot visit our animals on either Christmas or Boxing Day.

I am absolutely livid with him and am so pissed off that he has put us in this situation. His line is that our animals (cats) will be fine; but it’s me that will end up having to provide instructions for the pet sitters on Christmas Eve so that our animals are fed and happy. There’s no way that I can leave them so long - I’m going to have to drive back on Boxing Day morning now to check they’re okay (assuming he’s actually managed to put me on the car insurance like he said he would - I doubt it). He just says ‘oh they’ll be fine’ and tells me that I’m basically ridiculous for ‘worrying so much’.

I hate him so much right now. Wtf would have happened if I hadn’t asked him to call them?! He’s trying to call me but I am so angry. This is just the latest in a long line of things he’s ‘forgotten’ to do. And he’s just said that I’m being an arse 🤬

Sorry, this isn’t really a question, more a vent 😩

Why don't you just go home and stay on Boxing Day if you're happy to do that? There has to be a penalty for fucking up surely - or else people don't learn not to fuck up, and remember you didn't creat the situation where your cats would be neglected, you would not be the one ruining Christmas. And it's not your job to have reminded him, if that was the case that you had to instruct, remind and check etc then it would have been easier to do it yourself, why didn't he just do it? Or does he think you have to do everything for him because he's too lazy/incapable/not bothered.

Holiday with your cats would surely be better than holiday with an incompetent arsewipe.

Are you confident he can do anything when it doesn't benefit solely him.

Is DrMoribus OP's husband?

Disgusting attitude. You are advocating what amounts to abandonment and is illegal under the Animal Welfare Act, not to mention repugnant.

Your DH reminds me of the DH that couldn't be bothered to complete his son's secondary school application and then repeatedly lied about having done so thus denying the OP the chance of completing the application and the son having a school place.

Don't go for all of Christmas- have a think about if this gaslighting prick is the man you want to live with.

DrMoribund will see you now. Arf.

You know now exactly what he is like.

If you want to have children, he isn't father material, so you have to get out now.

If you don't want children, then you have to pay him to take part in your family life, otherwise he won't do it - and he probably won't do it even if you do pay him.

He isn't a husband, he's a waste of your resources - time, money and energy. If you were alone, you would simply do everything and have no-one to resent - win.

Don't go with him - stay with your fur-babies and 'broken-record' how he is the one who has ruined Christmas. Then take the time to evaluate if you really want to spend 50 more years doing this.

Omg. Treat yourself, get rid of your husband.

I was married to one like this, even down to how dismissive he was of our pets needs. They never get any better. He works a very well paid job but outside work nothing is as important as he is, which used to include me, our kids and our animals.
Used to. I couldn't put up with it.

Cats will be fine for two days
Plenty of food and water and extra litter

Is it just 2 days?

Give him the choice. He goes back to check on them (& sends you photos) or you stay with them. It’s his choice which solution but the rules are make the choice and no whingeing afterwards.

From the OP

We’re due to go away tomorrow to family for a week

He sounds incredibly frustrating to live with. He always puts himself first, doesn't he?

I’m genuinely surprised (and disgusted) by how many people are advocating abandoning an animal. No, a pile of food and extra litter is not enough to meet an animals needs.

He’s a first class prick, who can get things done if he deems it important enough (like at work) but doesn’t seem to think you our the cats are particularly high priorities. I’m on #TeamStayAtHome. Looking at the lazy arsed neglectful git over the Christmas table would have me choking on my turkey.

Stay home. Actions have consequences. He'll make sure he books next time

If I left my cats for that long, they would kill me in my sleep when I returned.

let him go to his family on his own.

You see, if you are with a man who needs to be taught things like "actions have consequences" he is not a suitable life partner for another adult surely? How can people bring themselves to shag someone like this

Christ on a bike! I'd leave him for that - stay at home with the cats, have a lovely cosy Christmas and let him explain to his family how he fucked up Christmas by being willing to let your furry family members starve to death. You're right, what could have happened if you hadn't checked arrangements doesn't bear thinking about (and is why I am taking my two cats with me for Xmas!)

And I wouldn't be staying with him either - my pets are my priority!

Never trust a man to do anything right

I would mad too! Is there a cattery nearby you can take them to? Or a neighbour to feed? Although I realise it's a bit cheeky at Christmas but if u explain.

Man babies are enabled not born. Given that this is who he, when are you going to accept and make decisions accordingly.

Ranting and handwringing doesn’t get you very far.

This line would be the coffin for me

Yes he has a job. I asked him if he was inefficient at work. He said that was different because he got paid there

The situation with the cats would be the nails

He sounds an all round selfish bastard

It is his family we're due to go to tomorrow. I want to stay here

Seriously, make this your stand. Send him on his own as a direct consequence to his actions. Keep saying that if he starts to gaslight you, the same phrase over and over again until he shuts up. He can't confuse you then.

You have a few days to sort out a Christmas for yourself.

Then spend the time re-evaluating the future of your relationship as you would have done if you had came home and found the state of your cats if you hadn't checked.