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Original poster

Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

999 replies

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 20/12/2019 11:29

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 20/12/2019 13:08

If he wasn't interested he wouldn't bother you and would respect your feelings I think.

Spritesobright · 20/12/2019 13:08

midthirtiesandsingle I feel like you're narrating some kind of exciting Christmas romcom plot and I'm dying to know what happens next..
Sorry, I know it's actually your life and not a romcom. But could you please just answer the phone and find out what he has to say? (and report back). Sorry I haven't seen the rest of your story- but why don't you think it could work?
Tanyaaah, I think OLD is inevitably complicated. Everyone's dating multiple people and no one communicates properly about what they are actually looking for (often because they don't know).

Can you try to step back and just enjoy it and take it less seriously? (says pot speaking to kettle)

bangheadhere40 · 20/12/2019 13:09

sorry I meant @midthirtiesandsingle

bangheadhere40 · 20/12/2019 13:14

Can you try to step back and just enjoy it and take it less seriously? (says pot speaking to kettle)

This is me too!

Jane1978xx · 20/12/2019 13:14

@malbroro you could give him another chance he was maybe dating someone else in those 4 weeks of no contact as you’d only been on one date 🤷🏼‍♀️

bangheadhere40 · 20/12/2019 13:15

I think we should all reply to each others irons, it would be much more fun as we wouldn't care, and then if a date came out of it great!

Jane1978xx · 20/12/2019 13:17

Omg answer the phone 😬😬😬😬😬

Original poster
Marlboroandmalbec34 · 20/12/2019 13:21

I have no phone to answer- I wish :)

sleepy my ex ex boyfriend was always interested in me from us meeting but I didnt really fancy him BUT we got on like a house on fire and became really good friends as I wasnt feeling a spark. We were great friends for a year and Then one day he went on a date and I was sick with jealous and realised I was mad about him. We went out for 6 years and I loved him to bits and thought he was the most gorgeous man on the planet.

I know thats not your situation but I think spark can grow BUT you cannot force it. Maybe another date or 2 and if its not there he might be a new friend?

OP posts:
Sunshineandflipflops · 20/12/2019 13:21

@midthirtiesandsingle Answer the damn phone woman! I think he feels the dame, otherwise why bother?! You'd already ended things hadn't you, so he's not ringing to do that!

WanderingLost167 · 20/12/2019 13:25

@midthirtiesandsingle

Oh please, if not for you, then dear Lord for us, answer the phone!

That answer from him seems to suggest if he had known that was why you ended things he would have explained...

midthirtiesandsingle · 20/12/2019 13:28

@Spritesobright he's my fwb... or was, I stopped the 'b' part because of my feelings. I think he's phoning because he's a thoroughly nice guy who I think would be upset at the thought of hurting my feelings.
I muted his WhatsApp but have just looked and he's messaged a few times, the latest saying he's coming over at 2 when he finishes work so I guess we will all find out soon! Sad

Jane1978xx · 20/12/2019 13:31

This is v exciting !! Post as soon as you can. I’m feeling shitty about exh ana xmas so need some cheering up and excitement

bangheadhere40 · 20/12/2019 13:33

It could be as he feels terrible about upsetting you or it could be because he feels the same! Why the fuck can't men just be transparent about what they want.

good luck, can you try and post as soon as you can please :-) xx

NoMoreWeepingAndWanking · 20/12/2019 13:36

omg omg - I am absurdly excited about midthirties' life.

Mine is slightly better since I called my counsellor and although she's not working until after Xmas she spent like 25 minutes letting me rant and wail at her and helped get me feeling a bit more even. Bless her. Lovely woman.

crazycatlady20 · 20/12/2019 13:44

I'm thinking positive @midthirtiesandsingle. u need to do a loo update asap!

fingers crossed for u x

bangheadhere40 · 20/12/2019 13:48

where do you all get counsellors? is it something you pay for or through NHS?

shitwithsugaron · 20/12/2019 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

midthirtiesandsingle · 20/12/2019 13:54

I literally could cry I am so nervous! He's NEVER late so will be here in a minute. Don't get too excited, my love life has been a car crash from cheating exH to not knowing what I want... now I finally know, I don't think I could be so lucky for it to turn out well!

bangheadhere40 · 20/12/2019 13:55

@shit thanks, I could manage £20 an hour I will look into it.

Lovemusic33 · 20/12/2019 14:08

Sat here waiting for good news from midthirties, keeping my fingers crossed for you. What will be will be x

JeSuisPrest · 20/12/2019 14:12

Checking in to new thread, thanks @Marlboroandmalbec34, yes give MrGiant another shot, what have you got to lose?

Sorry to hear your news @shitwithsugaron, but you sound quite resigned to it now. Agree with the others that having given it a second/third chance and you still having doubts it's better to end things, as hard as that is Flowers. Hope you can sort things out with your mum.

@bangheadhere40 I found mine through an employee assistance programme we have at work. I've also continued with lots of reading and online stuff - my issues were very specific regarding insecurity and trust.

Far too invested in @midthirtiesandsingle 's news... hurry up, I've got stuff I need to get on with Grin!

Savoretti · 20/12/2019 14:13

Hi all
Think I’ve missed a whole thread. Things still good with Mr Tri but ex has now found out and is being a right bellend. Wants him dba checked to make sure he’s not a paedophile. And says he must meet him before he is allowed to stay over when the kids are there. I totally respect he wants to know who is involved in his children’s life but the requests for the above have been abusive, ranting and persistent. Also all on the eve of my fathers funeral and on the day. Purposefully I am sure as he knows I would have been fragile.
I don’t know how to respond. I am happy for them to meet but feel that I am still being controlled by him if I just give in to his demands...

shitwithsugaron · 20/12/2019 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jane1978xx · 20/12/2019 14:16

I was Joined up to this a few years ago , it’s for all mental health issues you pay £40 then you are a member and get discounted therapies. www.anxietyuk.org.uk/

Jane1978xx · 20/12/2019 14:17

@Savoretti. What profession is mr tri in ? He may have had a dbs for work already

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