Major Xmas dilemma!

[OdeToDiazepam]

What would you do in this situation?

Bf who lives down the road with 2 dc. I have 2 dc too.

He's insistent that I spend Christmas Eve at his, and the night, and Christmas morning.

I have a number of issues with this. He has barely any furniture or stuff as he only recently moved in so the place is bare, dim and cold. The kitchens always a mess, there's bloody puppies as well so it's always a racket and smells.

Also I'd have to move a load of stuff over which I don't want to do, there's not enough chairs, I can't do my usual routine

Also I fear it'll be unfair with the kids as I get my dc a lot more, his dc pick on my youngest and are generally unpleasant at times.

Also I'm having to pay for all the food as he's tight on money, I'm fine with not getting a present but I have to admit it's hard not to feel a little resentful funding masses of Xmas food and drink and dinner'

Tbh I'm miserable every time I'm there atm. Tonight I went over for dinner spent nearly two hours waiting on my own feeling ill in the cold and dark as he had a call to be given dinner massively late and a child's portion so I'm still hungry!

I want to do it at my dads, he can come over for Christmas dinner maybe for a bit on Christmas Eve. I'll be more relaxed I have everything I need and they won't be here too long as it's chaos with 4 kids and I find it very stressful!

There's no solution though I either make him happy but risk having a horrible stressful Christmas as I get really low when I get stressed or I piss him off and have him unhappy at me

He could have just taken the tube to Heathrow. He didn't necessarily fly there

Too many pronouns there! Which ‘he’ is the sole tenant-your dad or your boyfriend?

How did you meet this man?

But I went with him to the animal bit where we had to wait for ages for the quarantine to be over then he had an argument with the guy about paying for this jab which hadn't been recorded properly on the us side so then I had to pay for it with my card

The bf is the sole tenant

A dog coming into the EU must have a pet passport and cannot leave the US without various vet treatments inc up to date rabies, there is no quarantine anymore since the introduction of passports. I work in rescue and this all smells very fishy, a vet would notice a heavily pregnant dog and I’m astonished the pregnancy survived a long haul flight. What kind of dog is she? What age are pups now?

then he had an argument with the guy about paying for this jab which hadn't been recorded properly on the us side so then I had to pay for it with my card

Oh. Like that time he took you to a fancy hotel for the weekend - but when you arrived there was a problem with the booking so you had to pay for the weekend on your card?

@surprise
The animal reception centre at Heathrow do NOT vaccinate your dog!! All vaccs must be done prior to flying, if he ‘regularly’ flies the poor dog then she’d have a valid and up to date pet passport.
OP stop being naive and desperate and get this lunatic out your life.

Yes surprise basically, she has a passport and yes had all the jabs

(I have nothing to do with the dog in question ...)

I'm only telling you what I was told and what I witnessed, they admitted at Heathrow that she shouldn't have been allowed to fly b she was and it was at this end they noticed that one of them hadn't been recorded right so it had to be redone and a 24 hour wait before she could be collected

The story gets worse 🤣🤣
Sorry @Surprise I meant to say I was agreeing at the tall tales 🙄

You and your father should not have given him money. What were you thinking?

Well, if you do have concerns that he is a conman, then you'd be surprised what you can find out with Google.

I know you've dialled back your concerns for his kids, but you really do need to err on the side of caution here. Even if they are fed and clean, etc. you have to take into account that these kids aren't just average children.

By your account, they were removed from birth parents for whatever reason, placed in foster care, adopted out, separated from their adoptive mother, spent time with adoptive grandmother and then dragged over here and presented to you. Even if their dad is the best parent in the world, they are at huge risk of attachment issues and would almost certainly benefit from counselling. And he doesn't sound like the best parent in the world.

Add that to being out of school, puppies (and the corresponding hygiene issues with a bunch of untrained dogs) not making hot dinners, etc...

It's not "maybe" neglect.

Nothing should ever be this complicated. Those poor kids.

Literally nothing about this adds up. Run for the hills.

he must be great in bed

Please tell me you or your dad are not the guarantor on his rental?

Sorry if this has already been mentioned, but I thought one of his children still lived in the US in your old thread. And there was no mention of his dog being pregnant?

his cards didn't work over here right, he said there were blocks and stuff so he wanted to use my bank card

Yet another of his lies I'm afraid. I spend a lot of time in the USA and host when American friends come here ... and I've never yet heard of them being unable to use cards or having to lend them mine

How much says this guy has another family somewhere?

From what I remember from your last thread, it was taken down my MNHQ, not sure what happened with that.

But there was plenty of stuff that didn't add up in the original thread and lots which contradicts that thread here...

I may be misunderstanding but originally you said that the dog didn't get quarantined at all.

If he had pet passport for the dog, there would have been no problem at the airport.

"If your cat, dog or ferret fails pet travel checks
Your cat, dog or ferret will be checked when it travels. If it doesn’t meet the pet travel rules, you must choose one of the following:

put it in quarantine
return it to the country it travelled from
have it put down
You must pay any fees and charges, your journey could be delayed and you could be taken to court."

No mention of having an injection then waiting 24hrs....

Yes I did say about the dog on the previous thread I'm pretty sure and no I never said one was in us, one hasn't got a school place yet

No we're not guarantors

Like I said, they checked the paperwork here and a vet hadn't recorded one properly. She shouldn't have been allowed to fly but for whatever reason it wasn't picked up on so they wouldn't release her until she'd had it and then waited 24 hours

I didn't go into much detail on the dog in the other thread it might have been because I didn't mention the puppies I can't remember if I did or not

there was no mention of puppies on the last thread....your either having an emotional break down because of your abusive last relationship hence this bizarre thread no 2 or you truly have been fooled by someone you hardly know and your poor DC yet again are being subjected to this shit fest...seek some help