Husband lied about Christmas party

[Dominique82]

We were having dinner out on Tuesday night, and I just asked him out of curiosity when is his work Christmas party, as I had not heard anything about it, and wasn’t too bothered to ask earlier. He answered that it looks like they are not having a Christmas party this year as a lot of people are working away or not in town. I did thing that’s quite odd not to have an office Christmas party, but wasn’t really questioning it.
It’s a small/medium newish office, around 30 people, quite international and he is the boss.
It would all be forgotten, except this morning I found a receipt in his jacket from a restaurant from Monday (so a day BEFORE he told me there was no Christmas party this year) for 23covers ‘Christmas deluxe menu’, cost over 2,5k,but the cost is completely irrelevant as that is obviously an expense that he will claim. So there is absolutely no doubt there WAS a Christmas party, which he lied to my face about.
Not only that, but he sent me a message on Monday afternoon asking what time am I going to be home as he needs to work late to finish off a presentation. He got home around 11pm, never mentioned a word about a Christmas party.
I am thinking WTF is this about??? It’s not like he cheated on me, but he lied twice, and made up a story about some imaginary work presentation. Am I overreacting ? I feel actually rather distressed. Could there be a justification to this?

Everyone is trying to work out why he is lying, but the point is that people who do not value the truth do not need a 'reason' to lie.

Some people value the truth very highly and do not lie no matter the cost.

Most people value the truth, and so prefer to tell the truth unless they have (in their minds) good reason to lie.

Some people know that the truth is preferable to lying, but they don't care, and like to mess with people's heads for fun and control reasons - they like pulling the wool over people as it makes them feel superior.

Then there are those people who do not value the truth at all. They have no reason to prefer the truth to a lie, so whether they tell the truth or not is pure random.

OP, your husband belongs in one of the last two categories. Given your previous thread I'm going for the 'controlling headfuck' option.

What Winterdaysarehere said.

OP, I remember your first post. Have u met his family yet? His son? Lived in his house? Do you still let him use your home rent and bill free and leave all the lights and heating on? Has he introduced you to friends, family, son, ex wife?

Does he still use use your car and earn three times more than you?

Please take stock, why did you marry him?

Oh dear OP I just read your old thread, I think there is something very wrong and dodgy about him. He has been hiding things from you for a long time, and hiding you from the people in his life.

You may drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why he's lying but it really doesn't matter. You may never know for sure why, or what the truth is. But he IS lying and now gaslighting you.

Honestly, I think you need to leave him. There is something very wrong with him, who knows what he could be hiding.

I think you need to be sure that you have a support system in place. You'll need it.

Is there any chance that this won't be covered on expenses and he is playing the big boss with a grand gesture that he's scared you wouldn't support?

Christmas party/Christmas evening meal .. sale thing! Not buying that one at all

Can someone please post link to old thread for context?

Seems like a silly lie so difficult to know if it’s sinister or he’s just a compulsive liar. Not even that important to know though: this isn’t someone you can trust!

From OP's original thread: I feel so stupid writing this now, as he must be loving me for all the freeloading I think.

Did you have a bump to the head OP that made you decide to marry him? You'd got rid of him at the end of that thread.

Could someone link to OPs other thread please?

He's going to twist his answers, twist them again and then twist again, so you end up so confused and unable to pin him down on his lie, then you'll end up unable to ask him anymore questions, as you're then the one that comes across and unhinged - this comes from someone who was married to a habituate liar. It's exhausting and soul destroying op, and it'll NEVER get any better and you'll never understand why he lies or get to the bottom of anything. I ended up putting it down to a mental illness

took me on holiday

You need to do some serious work on yourself, OP, if this is all it takes for someone who was taking you for a ride, and someone you got rid of, to turn it around from you having dumped him because he's a freeloader to you getting married because you're "head over heels".

I was going to say I would look up the menu on line then ask him which starter he chose, but I see there has been some investigation by the MN squad into your relationship and it appears that you have managed to hitch yourself to a cocklodger.

It sounds as though your relationship has more problems than wondering who is pulling the crackers at a corporate Christmas dinner.

Has he responded yet?!
@dominique82?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3497269-I-feel-like-I-am-being-massively-taken-advantage-of-financially

OP's other thread which ends when she finishes with him.

Is he still shacked up in your home saving money and using your car?

Going against the grain here, I don’t think it’s that bad OP that you married him.

At least this way you have some hope of getting some compensation when you break up, rather then him bleeding you dry and you walking away having been totally screwed.

(Unless he is actually in debt or something and has lied about that.)

thanks for the link @sevenstones

I think you need to end it sooner rather than later, he will never change.

What possible reason would he have for lying to you (and he’s lied about two different parts of this story) unless he has something to hide?

Because it's easier if, say, OP is likely to resent the evening out?

Plus I wouldn't class Christmas a meal out as A party

He sounds creepy.

Handwringing isn’t going to change him or the situation you slept walked into.

He lies, has always lied and probably always will, the balls in your court and not his.

took me on holiday

You are easy to please. Guess he knows his victims.

At first I thought he was loaded that you would change your mind and marry him so easily but what is this that he is a cocklodger.

Honestly you are well and truly sunk with a liar. Sorry. It is not too late to get out.

My ex was like this, a complete compulsive liar. Doesn't matter if it's about what he had for dinner, where he was, what time he got up, it was lie after lie.
Fortunately, I binned him after a couple of years after it came out he was defrauding an ex girlfriend too.
Feel sorry for the girl he's with now.

If I were you, I'd pack his stuff and fuck him out the door.

Wtf