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Original poster

Husband lied about Christmas party

233 replies

Dominique82 · 12/12/2019 16:29

We were having dinner out on Tuesday night, and I just asked him out of curiosity when is his work Christmas party, as I had not heard anything about it, and wasn’t too bothered to ask earlier. He answered that it looks like they are not having a Christmas party this year as a lot of people are working away or not in town. I did thing that’s quite odd not to have an office Christmas party, but wasn’t really questioning it.
It’s a small/medium newish office, around 30 people, quite international and he is the boss.
It would all be forgotten, except this morning I found a receipt in his jacket from a restaurant from Monday (so a day BEFORE he told me there was no Christmas party this year) for 23covers ‘Christmas deluxe menu’, cost over 2,5k,but the cost is completely irrelevant as that is obviously an expense that he will claim. So there is absolutely no doubt there WAS a Christmas party, which he lied to my face about.
Not only that, but he sent me a message on Monday afternoon asking what time am I going to be home as he needs to work late to finish off a presentation. He got home around 11pm, never mentioned a word about a Christmas party.
I am thinking WTF is this about??? It’s not like he cheated on me, but he lied twice, and made up a story about some imaginary work presentation. Am I overreacting ? I feel actually rather distressed. Could there be a justification to this?

OP posts:
Goldenchildsmum · 12/12/2019 18:16

Not wishing to be rude OP - but you know he's a liar and yet you're surprised that he's lying.

Confused
Justaboy · 12/12/2019 18:17

Make him a sandwich tomorrow and use the receipt as the filling...

Like it:)

Original poster
Dominique82 · 12/12/2019 18:19

I’m just remembering our conversation from Monday night, when he came home at 11, after this Christmas not Christmas dinner, mind you the bill was printed just before 10pm, he tested me ‘i’ve Finished, coming home’ (as in: finished his presentation). Then when he came home he said he had to stay late because he wanted to get this presentation finished today, so didn’t have much to do the next day. But according to the bill, the came straight from the restaurant. Just plain liar.

OP posts:
ToelessPobble · 12/12/2019 18:20

Can someone link to the previous thread pls

YouJustDoYou · 12/12/2019 18:21

That's such a weird thing to lie about 🤨

ScrambledSmegs · 12/12/2019 18:22

Lying is like breathing for him, natural and effortless. I expect he enjoys the power of having his lies believed too.

There's no point talking to him about it, he'll just spin you some story. You can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth Sad

momtoboys · 12/12/2019 18:23

I'm so sorry about all of this. You must not know what to think. Loving a liar is hard. Marrying a liar is insanity. Do you still only see him M-F?

WheresMyChocolate · 12/12/2019 18:24

I'd be furious because I can't abide liars.

Novembre · 12/12/2019 18:25

He sounds like he can't lie straight in bed. I wouldn't feel I could have a future with him.

orangeteal · 12/12/2019 18:27

The first thing that comes to my mind is he has something (or someone..) he doesn't want you to know about so is keeping you away from drunk colleagues.

Snowman123 · 12/12/2019 18:29

Was he drinking? Did he drive home?

Strange he would lie, but like you I can't think of a motive.

Bobbiepin · 12/12/2019 18:33

I agree with other posters about preventing you meeting another woman there. I haven't read your other thread yet but why did his previous relationship end?

wellthatwasthat · 12/12/2019 18:33

It may only have been a 'team meal' and not a full-on 'party' but only a totally anal pedant or an inveterate liar would deliberately avoid any mention of it at all.

Any normal dp would have said in answer to the question about a works Christmas party that there wasn't a big party this year as such, but everyone went out for a meal the previous evening. I mean, why would you deliberately withold such mundane information?

Sorry OP, but this ain't going to get better, is it? He's a liar. You will never be able to believe a word he says, and nor should you.

FrostythefeckinSnowman · 12/12/2019 18:37

I had a friend who was dating a pathological liar for a couple of years. She completely fell for him as he was Mr Handsome and Charming but lived on a different planet inside his head. He lied about his job, his history, family, everything.
And it was all so incredibly plausible.
I tried to warn her off him when they started viewing houses to buy as I didn’t trust him and was worried he’d bankrupt her. She already owned her own lovely home in a nice part of the city and had 2 older teenage children.
Eventually, she met an old school friend of his quite by accident and he put her straight on a lot of things.
Thankfully, she eventually realised that she wasn’t going to be happy to live like that. Not knowing what was real and what was a complete lie, always doubting things or double checking with others and it was having a seriously detrimental impact on her life.

Sadly, we grew apart because she was initially very angry with me for doubting the relationship and I’ve lost touch since I moved away.

OP, please don’t lose any of your friends & family over his lies.

WhoisitnowRalph · 12/12/2019 18:40

He's a bit of a shit isn't he. I'm trying to think what I would do - I think I'd be figuring out two things, a) do I want to stay and b) what level of explanation would satisfy me enough to want to stay.

Poor you, it must be a rotten feeling.

botanicalart · 12/12/2019 18:42

It was probably just a working meal for him and not a party.

Greenkit · 12/12/2019 18:44

Did he lie because he can, because it normal?

Very strange otherwise

OrlandoInTheWilderness · 12/12/2019 18:48

Oh dear, I think you know what you should do about him op!

wantsomeanswers · 12/12/2019 18:49

What Creepster said above

He sounds like he could be a Narc , lying and making you not trust your instincts about questioning this is a massive red flag ,
He will turn this on you by confusing you and punish you for challenging him on this I expect .

NotSorry · 12/12/2019 18:50

I used to work for a pathological liar - I've still no idea why she felt she had to lie (a lot of it was small, meaningless things) he won't change OP

lowlandLucky · 12/12/2019 18:50

He didn't want you there, sorry to be blunt.

spookysamhainwitch · 12/12/2019 18:50

Was there someone at the party he didn't want you to know about?

My ex was like that. Lied all the time. Once a liar always a liar.

Anotheruser02 · 12/12/2019 18:50

My child's Dad does this, the lies have left his mouth before he has even considered whether the truth would just be a perfectly fine answer. These behaviours are ingrained, you just have to decide whether you can live like that or not, changing someone who does this is not an option.

ginyogarepeat · 12/12/2019 18:51

Dealbreaker for me. If I can't trust someone I can't have any sort of meaningful relationship with them.

Bluntness100 · 12/12/2019 18:52

I'm assuming he thought you'd want to come and he didn't want you there, so he lied. Now he's lying to get out of his original lie. Doesn't look like it was a partner event, so maybe that's why, or maybe he doesn't want them to meet you.