Husband lied about Christmas party

[Dominique82]

We were having dinner out on Tuesday night, and I just asked him out of curiosity when is his work Christmas party, as I had not heard anything about it, and wasn’t too bothered to ask earlier. He answered that it looks like they are not having a Christmas party this year as a lot of people are working away or not in town. I did thing that’s quite odd not to have an office Christmas party, but wasn’t really questioning it.
It’s a small/medium newish office, around 30 people, quite international and he is the boss.
It would all be forgotten, except this morning I found a receipt in his jacket from a restaurant from Monday (so a day BEFORE he told me there was no Christmas party this year) for 23covers ‘Christmas deluxe menu’, cost over 2,5k,but the cost is completely irrelevant as that is obviously an expense that he will claim. So there is absolutely no doubt there WAS a Christmas party, which he lied to my face about.
Not only that, but he sent me a message on Monday afternoon asking what time am I going to be home as he needs to work late to finish off a presentation. He got home around 11pm, never mentioned a word about a Christmas party.
I am thinking WTF is this about??? It’s not like he cheated on me, but he lied twice, and made up a story about some imaginary work presentation. Am I overreacting ? I feel actually rather distressed. Could there be a justification to this?

The only thing my suspicious mind could come up with is that there's someone there he doesn't want you to meet - and yet you say you wouldn't go anyway. Very odd. Has anyone new started recently?

Could he be lying because he will be sitting next to a female colleague he is having an affair with? If it was me I'd try to arrange to be in the area and spy on him and his group, or get a good friend to do it. Take pics and have his bags packed when he returns.

He is for sure lying for a reason.

Could it be possible that he gave his credit card to a member of staff so they could pay but he stayed late for the presentation?

Are you quite controlling? Perhaps he lied as he was worried about your reaction. I'd be mega annoyed if someone lied to my face but there's definitely a reason why he wasn't honest with. I can't see it being a good reason though sorry.

Definitely not for clients, as they don’t do Christmas parties for clients, they just take them for normal dinner, but it would’t Be more than 5 people, somit was definitely a staff party as the restaurant is right next to the office.
Also the cost is not an issue as he gets reimbursed all work spendings.

He lied about LOADS of stuff about his relationship with the ex wife, saying that he lied because he knew I would be upset 🙄

What did he lie about before OP?

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If he came home right after then it's strange.

Would he have thought you wanted an invitation to this meal and he didn't want you there?

Was it more of a meal than a party then?

I very much doubt he gave his card to a mamber of staff to pay. If he did he could have said, yeah we did have a party but I had to work. He denied having a chrismas party at all claiming that everybody is away

Make him a sandwich tomorrow and use the receipt as the filling...
Screenshot it first.

Yes, it seems it was just a meal, so not like he’d been partying till 4am. So in theory there was no reason at all to lie. Except there must be a reason!

Do you think he might have thought the spending got out of hand and he didn't want you to know? I know it's a business expense but it's still a lavish Christmas party meal

So maybe he got mixed up with the word 'party'? I wouldn't classify a meal like that as a party especially if I came right home after. A Chistmas party to me is a 1am/2am thing and more than a meal.

Just trying to play devils advocate here :)

I remember you op, you got back with him and actually married him then?

He lied about his ex wife: about things that showed him in a bad light and might put you off him, presumably early on in your relationship?

I wouldn’t want to date someone who did that.

He gaslights you a lot, doesn't he? Lies because you'll 'get upset'. Yeah, right.

'Another lie. Hope the Christmas party was nice. Hard working late, eh?'

I'd have no respect for such a bullshitter. Can bet you he did this to his ex, too. Compulsive liar.

Do you usually go to these parties or could he have thought you might come? He may have lied to deter you from going and the only reason I can think of is if there was a certain someone there that he wanted you not to meet?

My thoughts are that he didn't mention it just incase you decided to come along this year.
There's either something going on with someone who would be there and/ or he's been telling them lies about you, saying you're a nightmare or your relationship is rocky etc.

saying that he lied because he knew I would be upset

The textbook explanation from a serial liar.

I remember you op, you got back with him and actually married him then?

Long term problems with this man, OP?

I am with hellsbells... it seemed alright until the presentation bit. He outright lied to you.

It seems this isn't the first time. He'll probably say he lied to stop you being upset - so something that happened isn't something that he thinks you'll be okay with.

I couldn't live with that, personally. Trust is integral.

Send him a photo of the Receipt.

It's not good enough that he lied. It's pathetic and he needs counselling to overcome his compulsion to lie.

If he can lie about a stupid Xmas meal, then what else is he lying about?

He could be the worlds best father, great in bed, a generous husband, but it means nothing if it's all based on lies.

Keep hold of the receipt... wait for him to panic when he can't find it.... you might force him into telling the truth about this, but can you continue to wait for the next weirdly unecessary lie?

You'll definitely have to ask him.

We would usually have a Christmas lunch and a party and I wouldn’t consider the lunch a party as a result- could it be something like that? £110 is a lot but in business circles it’s not that surprising. Still surprised he didn’t mention it in a “how was your day” kind of way!

As the boss could he be covering a meal he didn’t get to for whatever reason?

Sorry I don’t know how to quote here, would like to answer all questions.

The cost is not a problem at all, it’s not his money, so he can spend all he likes on that card as work pays for it. So this is not the reason.
There were 15 bottles of red wine and 3 white wine and some cocktails so that bumped up the bill.

The things he lied about his ex wife were things like: he said they didn’t go on a honeymoon, but of course they did. Or places he said he’d never been but I found out later from Instagram they have been there together.