Dating thread 176 - where we get through Christmas with team carpark updates

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@shitwithsugaron You need to do what you need to do but if you do speak to him, remember what you have just told us below and don't wear your rose tinted glasses.

Did all of this happen yesterday?

@unambiguousbeard Hey, I'm real!

Haha @Sunshineandflipflops me too! But you know what I mean....

I meant we're not in Shit's real life. Or something...!

Please don’t. He has behaved very badly. Talk here..

No no no

Please don't talk to him anymore.

Checking in!

Can’t even seem to get a date at the moment, where am I going wrong?

BooFuckingHoo same, not sure what’s going on at the moment, losing the will to live. I only get messages from old bald men or people that live too far away. No dates lined up .

shit I predict that if you do speak to him what will happen is
a) he'll apologise profusely but his apology will be peppered with blaming you for the course of events
b) he will then try to hoover you back in by being nicer than nice to you
c) when he realises that you will not be hoovered back in by him he will then revert to being nasty.
d) you will then end the call feeling hurt (again) and more confused than ever and wondering if you were really part of the problem and if he's really that bad afterall

In your position I too would be tempted to hear him out but I echo others sentiments and think in that path madness lies - don't speak to him!

If you need something ask him to email you his thoughts, then you can read but not react

And post it on here so we can shred it to part.

Sorry to derail the thread a bit but has anyone had much luck with guardian soulmates? I'm tempted to pay for 1 month.

Has anyone seen anything of Matthew Hussey on fb. He’s like a dating coach there’s some interesting stuff.

@Lovemusic33. And @BooFuckingHoo2. Do you message first ? I only speak to people I message first.

So seems Mr Grays family issues is a little more stable so we are going out wed. I’d say then prob back to mine or his but I might go for an old fashioned car park snog on the way 😂.

I'm struggling to get dates too. Arranged a date with a really fit lad who lives nearby for Saturday but I'd bet my vital organs he'll cancel

I don't feel attractive enough for some of these lads I match/date. Always felt I was punching when it came to FWB and other lads too tbh

@TheDevilsPedicure. I am sure you are hot 🤷🏼‍♀️. But it’s done to other things like enthusiasm and sense of humour as well. Which works both ways as well

@Jane1978xx my pics are all just selfies and they're completely unretouched so honest in that sense but they are very carefully taken at the best angles. Surely everyone does that though 😂 I just worry when they see me in person they won't like me.

Same. Mine aren’t filtered and Althou I’ve got make up on and my hair brushed they aren’t special 🤷🏼‍♀️. I think I look thinner in photos but no ones complaining

I think my face looks way prettier in photos. Thing is I don't want to put worse photos up 😂

I message first on bumble, tend not to on tinder though!

I get guys who chat for a day, seem really nice and genuine (no sex chat so I don’t even think I’m evening wank fodder!), but then completely blank me a day later. It’s making me paranoid there’s something very unsavoury about me on the internet or something which is putting all these seemingly nice men off

@TigerDater, thanks for the reply. I’m on match.com and Bumble. My settings are ages 48 to 60 and the men that turn up in my searches/discover bit are in that age range. I’m guessing that the men liking me must have a much wider age range. Not sure that match actually matches people very well.🙄

I think my face looks the same more or less apart from double chin and you can see the mum Tum 😂. Maybe ask a friend if it looks like you ? Obviously most people put on their best or better pics

@shitwithsugaron Exactly what @CocoKoko123 said. She articulated it perfectly. He will confuse the hell out of you and probably twist everything so you don't know what's up and what's down. And you'll think you're being Ott in finishing it.

I think I have pretty good pics, and it’s not like I even end up meeting these men so it can’t be kitten fishing that’s putting them off!

I only think that as had lots of experience with this with abusive ex both while I was with him and after I ended things.
jane I love Matthew hussey - lots of his vids on YouTube and he also has a book 'how to get the guy'. Not everyone's cup of tea but he seemed to make a lot of sense to me.