Dating thread 176 - where we get through Christmas with team carpark updates

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I should know better (with regards to FWB and complications). I have been on the receiving end of unreciprocated feelings and it's a horrible position to be in.
This time my FWB (I'll call him Mr RR - as he's a Ryan Reynolds lookalike ish!) did absolutely nothing wrong and when we 'embarked' on this FWB situation, we both made our boundaries and wants crystal clear so I have no one to blame but myself.
I haven't told him of my feelings, there is no point in complicating things but I have ended it. I didn't feel the feelings building, they just hit me like a double decker bus after he did something incredibly thoughtful for me a few weeks ago.

Which are the best OLD sites/apps now? I will be creating profiles tonight but the thought of POF is making me shudder!

hairy and hivpos thank you i am duly chastised re the men who make it to the clinic.

I do think though there should be some sort of campaign re educating my age group about the importance of condoms/STI checks. We were 25 or so in the dark days of the late 80s and the message was garbled or just didn’t get through to those who were married in particular

I wasn’t trying to cast aspersions or put anyone down I was just surprised I was ghe only woman (except my coil friend) and the youngest there. But yes good on anyone getting checked

I saw Mr Moving today AGAIN. I was working from home and he came and took me out for lunch. But he doesn’t impose himself on me for hours on end, he is self aware enough for that!

I do think I am catching feels for him. He seems to be such a naturally cheerful person and I really like that about him

Tiger - not really dating. Just using apps for distraction flirting.

I do have a lover. I like him and fancy him but he doesn't ring any of my long term bells.

Tinder and bumble are my faves

I use (or used) POF but with my profile off and I message people I like the look of 😂

@midthirtiesandsingle I also loathe POF but I get on ok with tinder and bumble.

Well done for ending it with the fwb. I could never do it with mine.

@Menora. Mr Moving does sound nice and a nice dynamic you can have short meetings like that

Notcoolmum thanks!
I'm so relieved today. It was really difficult to ask what should be a simple question - "are you still on the dating apps". I was convinced he would say yes.

But he was very happy to show me that his profile was hidden - until we found it wasn't!
Which, in a way, helped because we could have a laugh about it.

If I could tell you the whole story of our last 6 months, you'd all wonder how we are still talking. But now we'll be spending Christmas together and meeting family.

Echo I would probably take it at face value but then I am a trusting person!

@Jane1978xx

I think it’s important yes that you can spend short periods together without one party trying to cling on for more time. I haven’t really had that before and it a nice dynamic
We live so close to each other which helps. I always knew I wanted to meet someone close as I often have a spare hour not an entire weekend

menora and echo lively updates.

midthirties welcome back. Sorry about the FWB issue but well done for your decisive action! I agree with you, FWB/lover situations are pretty fraught.

I’m seeing Mr Greedy again tonight. Nervous about how I will feel 😳 and where the conversation might lead

I don't understand why men are being slated for being at a sexual health clinic. It may be for a male issue like ED but even if it's not, I don't think anyone should be laughed at for getting their sexual health checked out. Maybe I missed a joke on this but...

I agree salty

I don't think anyone was skslating men for being there. I think Jane was observing the demographic and found it unusual. And as that is my demographic I joked about going down there to pull. That was the idea that made me go 🤢 the inappropriateness of it. And quite frankly I'd like to find some 50+ men because they seem to be thin on the ground where i am!

Mr U still trying to come over. Ostensibly for food. I said I'm busy. And ex FB keeps messaging to say he's just been past my house. I replied that if he wants to meet for coffee or a drink he only has to say. I haven't seen him in over a year. Does he really think I'm going to say oh please come over for a shag next time you're passing?

It's a weird feeling saying no to them. I don't feel strong just feel a bit sad. Because of course I'd like to be having sex with someone but someone who likes ME!

midthirties any chance he feels the same? Is it worth discussing or a big no no?

Oh hi @midthirtiesandsingle I remember you.

Are people over 50 not allowed to have sex anymore? The only gross people deserving of 🤢 are those who aren’t going for regular enough STI screens. Some GUM clinics also process semen samples after the snip, ED issues, prostatitis monitoring, counselling, viral load counts and many more things. No one should be made to feel ashamed for seeking appropriate medical care.

@unambiguousbeard MrU has done you a huge favour, it’s sooo much easier to get over an arsehole.

Sounds lovely @Menora

Good luck tonight @TigerDater

@EchoElephant I’m so pleased the profile issue is sorted, it must have been a bit nerve wracking.

The weekend with MrNN meeting my ‘nother mother went okay, she somehow didn’t scare him off. I was worried that four hours stuck on a train with MiniSJT might be the final straw, it almost was for me. Police finally called today so my insurance company can get the ball rolling on my claim properly, I’d rather just have my lovely car back.

Please can I join? Joined match. I have not dated for 18 months. Had 2 relationships since divorce in 2012 however have not lived with anyone other than my exh. I'm 43. Been chatting to a nice guy, it seemed and I mentioned a tattoo in his photo (an observation) and I think he may have taken offence or thought I was offended and seems to have disappeared! I may have been blocked before he waited for a response? Is this really the norm with OLD? if so, I dont think I'll bother

Think I need to rejoin after swearing off dating for good (clearly didn’t last!!), I’ve had a change of username though sorry.

Will RTFT but where I am at. I saw someone this week on a 1st date and it flew by, 4 hrs talking, he’s really keen, really good life fit, texts all the time, no sexting but has hinted and has taken a day off to come do some (boring!) things with me just so he gets to see me pre-Xmas! All very usual for my dating history not used to someone being lovely and keen . BUT I didn’t Instantly fancy him Which is shit. Do I see if that but grows or not?? Does it ever? Everyone I’ve fancied has turned out to be a wanker that wants a shag or seriously damaged and I fall for them trying to fix them .

Also on the scene - FWB who is HOT and unreal in bed. But very damaged and likes to talk every day for hours which is eating my time so I’m on avoidance.

MrHardWorker who was on the scene last time I was on this thread back in August! Only actually dated 3 times, each one lovely but he wants to see me in the new year, he just works very very hard (and I know that’s true), but is offering to do a massive project for me which would probably give more time to build something with him if that’s what he wants.

@Sleepysundown give us a clue to your previous identity. I used to have a nut for a head

Ha I was the one who dated the charmer who said I shouldn’t date post rape, after dating me