Dating thread 176 - where we get through Christmas with team carpark updates

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Oh god I'm getting really tired of men wanting sex. So apart from Mr Unsuitable, mr RealLife (who to be fair hasn't mentioned sex) Mr OldFB has turned up today and then Mr Selfie the young guy I cancelled on twice because he kept sending selfies. And Mr Od Friend keeps sending doting messages. It sounds like a stealth boast but it isn't it's just so weird the way you go from nothing to wayyyyyyyyy too many. It's putting me off the whole bloody lot of them. Oh and Mr Italian who wants me to go to Italy. For sex. Is it Xmas? Why does this happen? Last weekend I was so forlorn and lonely now I'm practically barricading up my fanjo.

Ha @unambiguousbeard

@shitwithsugaron good luck with the counselling and sorting things out. I'm all for second chances in much the same way @JeSuisPrest describes. We're all human and make mistakes and get our fears triggered by stuff. It takes time, forgiveness and sometimes that third party to help us see ourselves.

Sorry for any confusion. Mr S was the man I went back to. And shouldn't have done. Mr B was a man I saw whilst getting over Mr S as a FwB. I ended things when I realised I still had unresolved feelings for Mr S. Mr B has been nothing but nice to me and I don't feel I ever gave him a real look in as I was too busy looking back and comparing him to something else. Which I was seeing through beth rose tinted lenses.

But I'm also wary of looking back again. There are more than 2 men in the world. And hurting someone who doesn't deserve it. So treading with caution.

Mr Scouse and mr bants...

@shitwithsugaron good luck with both the counselling and Mr B. No judgement.

@SortingItOut I don't think I could remain without feelings for someone I was sleeping with for 15 months.

Notcoolmum dont get me wrong I really liked him as a FWB but there was never anything else that came into it. He supported me through loads of crap with my marriage and I'll be eternally grateful to him.

I'm actually worried that I wont ever have feelings for anyone, my heart is truly made of stone and I have the highest barriers that show no signs of coming down.

I didnt realise he had got the feels for me, I thought we just had a friendship that involved sex. He was adamant he wanted to remain single and didnt think he would ever have a relationship again so I never thought for one minute this would happen.

Its definitely a mine field.

. Am I the only one who thinks old is the most amazing thing ever!!! On the crack of dawn coach home (have to work later) just need to sort out my divorce paperwork and sell my house !

Morning all. I’ve broken many thread rules, I was far too over invested in mr stood me up, far too excited for the date that never happened. I’ve shed tears and sent messages and stalked what’s app to see if he’s been online. He just seemed so keen and lovely and then he disappeared!

I have never met him. He stood me up. This is me giving myself a virtual slap in the face and moving on. I’m putting a man I’ve never met on a pedestal and letting myself be hurt already. I think it’s absolutely time for a break from all this!

That’s twice in the 3 months of OLD that I’ve been upset over a man. Two first dates I’ve cancelled myself (politely!) because I wasn’t feeling it. I need some sort of happy medium!

Thanks for your words of support yesterday

@lifeisgoodagain brilliant!

@Ginghampanther we've all done it. Broken the rules and over invested in someone we've never met.

Before I started posting when I first started OLD I read the rules and thought, wow those are harsh, bit unnecessary. Fast forward 6 months I got them and try hard to stick to them. But they're there to remind us it's not just us it happens to everyone. Chin up.

No one should be feeling bad about themselves or their choices - they are yours to make not ours. All we can do is be there for each other!

Spent an hour on the phone to Mr Moving last night, he’s so easy to talk to. Damn damn damn 😂

@unambiguousbeard I hear you - they are all emerging from the dusty whatsapp archives. Santa shags

Have decided to refer to Mr Pilates as my lover rather than FWB. I like the connotations and the fact it sounds a little less teenage.

Smutty phone call turned into slutty video call and I'm now getting distracting messages at work. Lovely

@Ginghampanther A great piece of advice I got here - early days if they act weird, drop out, go hot and cold, are flakey - Delete their number and the whatsapp thread asap. The faster they're off your phone, the faster you move on. Plus seeing someone 'Online' and not talking to you just feels like being eternally ignored and you make up a ton of stories about why and then end up in a rabbit hole about how you're shit and will be alone forever (apparently)

My dating life - like unambiguous - they are popping up. One I might meet. Slow burn annoyed me on Whatsapp and I told him to f* off. We didn't really recover after that. Third Mr P, lives hundreds of miles away, always have a wonderful time when he's here. Here for xmas so meeting around then.

Gingham I’m exactly the same, been dating for years now and doesn’t get any easier, I still take it very personally when someone stands me up or vanished and often shed tears over people I don’t really know.

Friend sent me a meme today that made me properly cackle:

Break ups are really fucking hard.
Luckily so are othet men's penises

Gingham, I've just had Mr bluenose go quiet on me,after messaging like mad Friday,one Saturday morning and then yesterday nothing. So whether he comes back to me or not,Wednesday wont be happening.

I've just had a strange morning.I met someone in real life . Who asked me out .
At the moment I'm working as a house keeper for several farms. I'm puffing cushions and a man walks in.Have a chat. He says his year has been awful and looking forward to new year. I said me too,things have changed and got son all the time( though ex took him out for bowling yesterday, yay....just not going to go to his dads house where partner is) and he said oh,that's a shame,I was going to ask you out.
So i said,oh,he is 12, he is happy to be left for an hour or two and he got his phone out and took my num!!

This OLD stuff has made me a bit crazy though as then he said I hope you like fun. I said I'm done with ' fun' at the moment and he looked at me a bit strange and said oh,I do,hope you can keep up with me???

Hope he just meant fun things. So let's see. I'm not farmery at all so if I do go out with him,I wonder if he will wear his wax jacket and flat cap .

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking. Lover , I like the sound of that very sophisticated.

Mr gray and I put do not read at work ..... in front of our more racy messages which
I also think is very sophisticated 😂.

Also loving the meme

@kerkaya sounds like fun !

Hi. Can I join?
Very recently separated but looking to the future. May have joined Pof to dip my toes.... So many men!

Talking to a few. But not really feeling like meeting anyone yet.

Hope to get to know you all

Oh goody can I now call mr mad and mr Greedy my lovers now? I much prefer that to FWB, was just trying to be down wiv da kidz 😂

kerkyra that sounds exciting but he is just after sex, right?

Tiger,not sure. Said he needed a good woman as was fed up of being single. I said I could do with a man. Then there was an awkward silence and we both just sort of stood there and then chatted again.
If he does get in touch, I need dates before any sex happens.

He actually lives in my village so it could either be something quite handy,or or ends up like the thing I had with ' village man' back in the spring where it just got awkward. I know nothing about him so yeah,he could be just after a shag. Most men are!

kerkyra it doesn’t sound like the romance of the century but you never know! I would definitely see him, but given his localness I would take it publicly and slowly. Villages! 😱

Haha. Very true,
He has to txt first then no doubt I'll be on here for advice

Thank you all. @supercali77 are you in my head 🤣 that’s just it.. the tears and the ‘what’s wrong with me why can’t I get a date?!’ thoughts..! Good advice, thank you. @Lovemusic33 I’m glad it’s not just me.

@WanderingLost167 welcome!

@kerkyraa a real life one? That’s exciting, keep us posted!