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Original poster

Dating thread 176 - where we get through Christmas with team carpark updates

999 replies

NoMoreWeepingAndWanking · 08/12/2019 12:19

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP posts:
unambiguousbeard · 15/12/2019 12:22

I can't tell him he's too old! And I fancy the man he used to be. He's coming to London for other reasons at the end of Jan. I have my kids all weekend which is good. I was thinking about saying I'd met someone in London. I think we would stay friends.

Notcoolmum · 15/12/2019 12:22

Oh @TigerDater I have the same. A lovely, lovely friend I know like Juno at the chance of being with me. He's very kind. Is finally settled. I've known him since we were teens. But I just don't fancy him. I wish I did.

I'm considering seeing Mr B again. Not sure whether this is a good idea or not...

Bluezoo123 · 15/12/2019 12:41

Just hopping on to say shit how are you? Missing you from the thread and hoping you're doing ok

SortingItOut · 15/12/2019 13:10

Notcoolmum - didnt you have a falling out last week?
Sorry if it's someone different.

Do not go back, he's showing you his true colours, you'll only get hurt again.

SortingItOut · 15/12/2019 13:14

*notcoolmum'

You posted this yesterday morning:

Thanks@Marlboroandmalbec34no I've blocked him. I literally feel like a veil has been removed from my eyes. He was so cold towards me in his last message it all just fell into place and I never want to hear from him again. Warning you all off short bearded scousers!!How's mr Big...?

What's changed since yesterday morning??

unambiguousbeard · 15/12/2019 13:29

@SortingItOut that was Mr S. I think Mr B was FWB who got the feels. This is the trouble with going to initials we all get confused! I can't remember what the S or the B stood for mind you...

unambiguousbeard · 15/12/2019 13:31

But I love love love how you stepped in immediately waving a huge red flag at @notcoolmum. I love this thread.

@shitwithsugaron there will be no flaming here. Come back. We'll support you through whatever it is you've decided to do...

SortingItOut · 15/12/2019 13:50

Apologies for any confusion...

If its the FWB who got feels then I would tread carefully, unless he accepts your 'relationship' as the same as you it can only end in tears, probably his, but would you want that worry hanging over you.

I've got rid of FWBs before who got the feels, one was only a 3 month thing but last month I got rid of an FWB of 15 months.

I set out my 'rules' very early on so they know my expectations. Catching feels and telling me is a huge no and will end our arrangement. Yet some guys still catch feels and tell me!!!

Jane1978xx · 15/12/2019 13:51

I’ve been stood up to 😂must be the weekend for it. Something has come up apparently 🤦‍♀️

TigerDater · 15/12/2019 13:52

This may sound naive but what do people mean by ‘catching the feels’?

Lovemusic33 · 15/12/2019 13:55

I went out and bought new underwear even though I don’t really have anyone lined up 🤣, Mr mechanic would be up for it but he’s not really top of my list, he could possibly be a ok FWB 🤔. I haven’t really been interested in sex since Mr Skinny but the urge is returning so I may have to find a FWB (but it’s so hard to find someone who’s amazing at it).

Everyone I chat too on POF end up having major mental health issue, on guy I’m talking too has just told me he has PTSD and a few other issues. I know many of us suffer with mental health issues (including me) but I really want someone who’s happy with their life and has no baggage. I work in mental health, I already find it hard to switch off so coming home to someone who has their own mental health issues is just too much.

SortingItOut · 15/12/2019 13:57

TigerDater
When I say it I mean they admit to liking me more than an FWB should, so basically starting to fall in love with me.

I've got a heart made of stone (thanks emotionally abusive cheating ex) so I make it very clear its a sex arrangement, nothing more and never will be so I set the boundaries early on but still some overstep them.

Lovemusic33 · 15/12/2019 13:57

I was stood up this week too.

SortingItOut · 15/12/2019 14:01

Lovemusic33 have you tried fab swingers?

I used to find my FBs/FWBs on dating sites but guys on there either caught the feels or werent that great in bed.

I joined Fab in September and in my first week met the most amazing local guy, the sex is mind blowing and I can't get enough of him, currently we're having sex nearly every day (he's very conveniently located for home and work)

There is a whole range of people on there, I've met a few just to see whether I could have another FWB but the sex has been nowhere near as good as my original guy.

We even went to a swingers club last weekend....that was an experience!!!

Lovemusic33 · 15/12/2019 14:06

I was on a similar sight a year or so ago and met a lovely guy, he was pretty good in bed but not the best.
Ideally I’m looking for a relationship but at the moment I just fancy a Christmas shag. I really miss Mr SA he was one of the best I have had but my bloody feelings got in the way and ruined everything, I wish I could shag him one more time 🤣.

Jane1978xx · 15/12/2019 14:13

Oh now he’s said his ex is really ill so he’s keeping the kids tonight 😬.. now I feel bad for being stroppy 🤦‍♀️

TigerDater · 15/12/2019 14:32

sortingitout this is what I find difficult. How much/little should a FWB like you to stay a FWB? Mr Greedy FWB is a soppy so and so and is always on the point of declaring undying love but that’s just his way - I don’t believe in love so it doesn’t worry me if he does or doesn’t, and actually I don’t think he does. He just likes feeling fuzzy round the edges one or two nights a week. I don’t see why I should ditch him just because we aren’t exactly on the same page?

unambiguousbeard · 15/12/2019 14:37

@TigerDater I would say there is only a problem if he wants to move it on by being exclusive or moving in with you or something. I struggle with the whole concept of regular FWB. Two nights a week feeling fuzzy round the edges would do me nicely. See I think I want a relationship but I don't want someone moving in, spending time with the kids, spending the rest of my life with me. So maybe I want FWB?

Jane1978xx · 15/12/2019 14:50

I guess a fwb is like a boyfriend but not a partner. I wouldn’t want anyone moving in with me and my daughter. I want someone thou who’d help with problems and maybe go on nights away etc. But I guess you’d do that with a friend so may still fall into fwb x

TigerDater · 15/12/2019 14:50

He does want to move in but that’s because he’s currently paying rent, I’ve got a cosy house and he adores my puppy. That’s not going to happen, even if he pays the market rate! He knows he’s not getting exclusive and is quite happy with that as he thinks it means I’ll do a threesome with another man. Unlikely to happen, but never say never 😉

unambiguousbeard · 15/12/2019 15:12

Hahaha that made me lol. Men are so predictable. Re the three some that is.

Well I want a BF. Not a FWB

Menora · 15/12/2019 15:14

I’ve told Mr Moving that there is no cohabiting on the cards. His house - my house - separate DC (for now at least)
I don’t know why we had this chat, probably As he did move in with his last GF and has had to move out and start again. I would need a huge house which I don’t have and it isn’t fair on my DC. Then irs up to him if he wants to carry on with me

Menora · 15/12/2019 15:16

Oh also I found out last night his MUM is staying at his house. He’s got a good way of slowly dropping these kind of things in Confused
Which is why it isn’t going to be serious and I am planning on mostly just shagging him. Some of what he has going on isn’t what I want in a BF exactly 😂

TigerDater · 15/12/2019 15:21

They are indeed utterly predictable. AP, threesome, squirting yawn yawn.

I want a boyfriend ultimately I guess, no moving in or recognition of rights as a partner though - but whether I’ll ever be able to accept monogamy again I deeply doubt.

Lovemusic33 · 15/12/2019 15:23

I can’t see that it’s possible to have anyone move into my house whilst I still have dc living at home, most men have dc too and I don’t have spare room to sleep anymore children, both my dc’s have sn’s and need their own rooms, they are teenagers and would hate other kids staying in their rooms. I don’t think I could cope with sharing my space either. Though I would love relationship I don’t think it could involve living together.