Dating thread 176 - where we get through Christmas with team carpark updates

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking. I’m surprised you can walk let alone want to go on another date 😂😂😂.

My back? Aching but totally worth it

Is your date tonight @NoMoreWeepingAndWanking ?! You're nearly catching up with my accidental two-shags-in-a-day record... not something I'll be repeating I hasten to add

Yes. Apparently. Though no details have been vouchsafed

And Mr Fast Work just cancelled on me. Big surprise. He said he overdid it at work xmas party and felt shit. Didnt want too spend the evebing with me feeling shit. My Reply:

I don't want to spend the evening with someone feeling crap.

I want to spend time with people who want to spend time with me. And I'm not confident that you do, so here is an easy 'out' if you want it?

I think I've been clear that I was keen. If not let me say that now.

You have a think and let me know if you are interested, in which case tomorrow is still on."

Boundaries clear enough?

I’m not sure I would have even given him that chance. Let us know what he says. was me Pilates a one off ?

Ok. Apparently I'm more invested than him. And dumped.
So now tonight and tomorrow are cancelled. Why do these utter CUNTS not realise that this free time is precious and has to be planned in advance.

Fuckit. I just feel so disposable.
I would feel like this if anyone cancelled so last monute but seriously. Why do they do this?

Mr Pilates is hopefully a long term FWB prospect. But he's not free

Either they are cowards about meeting up in person and/or having sex or they like the flattery. One guy I met up with a few times an d then kept delaying so I said fine but stop messaging me every morning and night and he said I was mean 🤷🏼‍♀️. I’m home alone tonight for varying reasons so I’m having a take away and my fave film and wine and chilling the f@ck out

It has taken me nearly a year to figure out that my ex was emotially abusive. I'm feeling a down at the moment and eating my feelings because my surgery hasnt gone the way it was meant to and I'm needing to figure out a career change. I have put on 5kg since July so I was saying to Mr S that I need to go on a diet and it's the worst time of year to do so because of all the nice food and celebrations. He told me that I have a wonderful figure and that I don't need to diet. This time last year my ex told me that he was banning me from eating cake, sweets, chocolate etc and I stupidly did so because I couldn't see how controling that was.
Having a crisis of confidence that Mr S won't like his Christmas present and I don't know when to give it to him because I'm seeing him next week but then I don't when I will see him around Xmas time as he is going to his mum's.

I'm watching Love Actually. There's so many things with the Alan Rickman/Emma Thompson part that is similar to what happened to me. Getting close at his Xmas party with younger colleague which I was at but naive me thought nothing of it, buying her an engraved bottle of perfume (found the receipt) and me a pair of slippers. Me being dutiful wife and mum to our kids while she was child free.

I haven't watched this film in the two years since we split because I couldn't bear it but I'm trying to enjoy Christmas again so trying exposure therapy.

I was thinking of just taking myself out for dinner. I've got dressed up just as I would have for him.

Is that utterly sad or utter genius? I can't tell.

Do it , go and treat yourself. I’m lazy so I’m having a takeaway 😂

You're worth getting dressed up for. Do it for you.

My dc are visiting their father at the contact centre just now. I have mixed emotions.

It's genius @nomoreweepingandwanking enjoy and you might get chatting to people while out

It's really hard coming to terms with having had an emotionally abusive partner. I just don't picture myself as the kind of person who would allow it to happen, but I did. For 18 bloody years, too.

Anyway, I'm now so hyper aware of any possible problems that I'm convincing myself that I should stop seeing MrN. And he's not done anything! Not LTR material for me, but FWB or casual dating... Yet I can't relax into it and enjoy myself.

Has anyone else had trouble having an orgasm with a new person? We've had 3 overnight dates, lots of sex that I've really enjoyed but I still can't orgasm. So close, but not quite there ... Fantasising about being with him when he's not here is a different matter. I haven't though about sex this much since I was a teenager 😂

@UncorrectedDoormat bizarrely Mr U struggled to make me come. That's not happened with anyone before ever. I'm normally the kind of person who comes at the drop of a hat and wayyyyy too easily/quickly. But it actually made for fantastic sex as it just got more and more intense and I could go for hours. He just couldn't tip me over the edge and it was incredible. It was very odd as it wasn't anything he was/wasn't doing and I found him so sexy and got so turned on. Chemistry/hormones are a mystery.

@UncorrectedDoormat. I didn’t have a problem he barley touched me 😂 but I think I was that wound up. Everyone and every time is Different as long as you are both into it then it’ll happen 🤷🏼‍♀️

PerfectPretender - how are the DC feeling about it?

notcool well done on blocking! In a way it is a good thing. You can really see him now without the rose tint. Mr Big is Mr Big. Never going anywhere but a great shag, good company and a super cook so it will do for now.

salty sorry you had a crap one! It’s a new year soon.

nomorewanking Wowzers 👏

Good luck Mr NN simon

unambiguos only you can decide...😂😂😂

Wow this thread moves fast. I’m heading to my crimbo party. Dateless but sure I will run into a prince of Aldovia 😂

He has plied them with junk food apparently so yknow, the first time he's paid to feed his children in months. I'm a bit of a wreck but the texts coming thru from DC are ok.
Mr G has been supporting me via messages, which is so helpful.

A space has come up at a local singles night, someone help talk me into going please,
I find groups of people I barely know uncomfortable (I know no one going)
There are about three women to every man rsvpd
I’m petrified
I’m trying to talk myself into with the facts it’s 10 minutes away, it’s the only night out I’ll have this festive season and I can always leave after one drink if nobody talks to me, but I don’t know if I can cope with no one talking to me and feeling like a Billy no mates, I’ve got nothing to loose other than a dent in my fragile confidence, thoughts or better yet tips, I’ve messaged the organiser asking for some introductions but she didn’t come over as very friendly

That sounds miserable, tbh! I'd much rather stay in and have a few drinks on my own than subject myself to that.

As I’ve put my pjs on having got caught in the rain earlier I’d say the odds of me making it out are slim!

I go maybe with a single friend and if the ratio was the same but it doesn’t sound great as it is