Dating thread 176 - where we get through Christmas with team carpark updates

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

yeah I dont think they get on at all hence the courts.

same as me and my ex tho so I wouldnt want anyone to judge me on that.

@unambiguousbeard 😂 I didn't actually mean MissH actually (although yes she'd probably do the same) I was just saying that if I behaved like that I'd expect a GF to give me a whack. But yes she is my GF and one that I like more and more as time passes 🥰
In other news my consent order was approved today, so I should be divorced by Xmas 👏🎉

Great news @Ant330

My house is under offer so I might get divorced in 2020. I'm not sure I'll be able to have a proper relationship til then. But hey ho. No rush.

Nice one, Ant! Fingers crossed it goes through.

I can't believe we are so close to Christmas. I'll be glad to see the back of 2019, tbh.

I can't wait to get my divorce through too. Got the decree nisi, no hope of the absolute any time soon 😩

I've not even started divorce proceedings yet. Been separated 2 years and in a nice relationship. We're only married on paper.

Yeah I don't really care in a way, I see myself as completely single.

Although FWB said he enjoyed telling his mates he was shagging a married woman 😂

The thing I don’t like is that it’s still classed as cheating even if you are living apart

Wow is it? Even if you've been separated for ages?

Apparently so unless you get some legal Document saying you are separated

Does it matter now that my decree nisi has been pronounced?

Great news ant re divorce for me I wanted to be divorced so I was financially severed from and independent of exh.
crazy I was in same position as you wrt abusive ex when I met him - I (clearly) didn't write him off for it but with retrospect I would have done. However, every situation is unique so good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Just catching up on new thread. Hope I get names right.
shit that incident sounds awful. You will be far better off without this unsupportive bellend.
crazy I would not touch a soon to be dad who is going through the courts with a barge pole. Not because you are judging him but because that is only going to end up being hassle for you. Why invite it into your life?
pedicure I find most men don't get feminism, even the younger ones. Or they have their own confused version of it. I've only ever met 2 guys who did more listening than talking about it and they were unattractive in other ways!
In other news I am seeing Mr E again tonight and feeling very giddy

Who was the dating thread pregnancy?? I want to know how you're getting on!

Also ant and hairy (are there other men on this thread?) I would like a man's perspective on why a man may not text much between dates. He's definitely on his phone a lot so it's not that. He texts maybe once or twice a day so no proper conversations over text. He always replies but sometimes it can be hours before a reply. And quite often he goes on whatsapp and doesn't bother reading my message. Whyyyyyy

@TheDevilsPedicure I’m not sure 🤷🏼‍♀️. I guess once that’s filed with a reason then no one would go back and change it. Mines not even been filed as far as I know.

@Peanutbuttermouth. He might be messaging his kids or have some sort of football or mates group.

@Peanutbuttermouth it's probably a lost cause hoping that any of them will listen, which is very frustrating. Hope you have a lovely evening with Mr E!

@Jane1978xx I divorced him on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and didn't include the worst examples I could have used! Mind you if he tried to label me an adulterer I wouldn't give two shits tbh 😂

I haven't filed for divorce yet, though I could on grounds of DV. He was arrested and accepted the charges so it's an easy one to push through. Though I don't see why I should take on the financial responsibility of filing, tbh. He likes to refer to me as his wife at every opportunity, the ass. As if that is some sort of declaration of ownership. Whatever.

@Peanutbuttermouth I'm a woman and I don't like lots of messaging. Once or twice a day is more than enough.

I feel like ex has me by the balls while he's paying my mortgage and while we're still married. I thought I was ok with it but have realised recently that I'm not. I feel beholden to him. I hate it.

@Peanutbuttermouth sorry not sure as I'm almost incapable of leaving messages unread 😂
However I do spend a lot of time on WA for mates and football so could easily be on there for a while and not texting MissH. But if I'm on WA and she's messaged me then I will always ping a quick message back.
We've been with each other long enough now though that we know when the other is busy so it's never an issue.
Maybe he's just not into or used to lots of texting?? I never used to be and had to up my game when I started OLD. Tell him and see what he says.

Like Coko I wanted to be financially separated mainly. I took a bit of a leap of faith 13 months ago and without legal advice I remortgaged and split assets so she could move out somewhere decent with my son and make a fresh start.
But I knew that even when somebody says they're happy with how it's been done things can change very quickly, particularly as she had an affair and is in process of buying a house with him. So I wanted to get the consent and clean break orders sorted.
Tbf to my stbx she has stuck to her word, it's all gone smoothly, and we've stayed amicable throughout. But having it all approved now is a huge weight off my mind.

@TheDevilsPedicure I said put me down for whatever is quickest 🤷🏼‍♀️

The problem for me is that I won't be allowed to take the mortgage on myself on our home and I am NOT moving my kids from their home because he couldn't keep it in his pants. So basically he stays on the mortgage or we rent/buy a house that's too small and not in catchment for the kids school.

I would agree to divorce but again, I am not bearing the brunt of the stress and cost because of something he did.

I am burying my head a bit, I know but I am in no hurry to get married again EVER so it doesn't bother me too much. I also intend to keep my married name anyway as it's my kids' name.

Oooh I'm having a nice conversation with the new iron- he's chatty, friendly, some shared interests- I like the look of him in his pics and I've now established he is a decent height (same as my FWB)- just in one of the group shots his mates all looked taller 😂

I really hope he's a decent one, and that we actually go for this drink. It was helpful bringing up on the thread the issues around being a survivor of an abusive relationship- whenever I'm meeting someone new I get a bit nervy again. Felt 100% safe with FWB do it's scary starting again

I want to put the mortgage just in my name and the house but I don’t trust him not to try and take more than he’s entitled to