Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Am I in the wrong thinking he shouldn't be doing this?

132 replies

Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 20:43

Tell me if I'm wrong. My husband works with a woman who also runs her own lingerie company. It's a home based low scale bespoke type thing and she models her own stuff.

My husband follows her on social media and she regularly posts stories in her underwear and he views them

Am I wrong to find this really inappropriate, to knowingly look at someone you work with in their underwear? I don't mind him seeing lingerie ads etc but it feels very different that it's a woman he sees every day

OP posts:
DartmoorChef · 04/12/2019 20:45

Can't actually see a problem with this to be honest.

AtrociousCircumstance · 04/12/2019 20:46

Creepy and sleazy.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 20:54

Why wouldn't you have a problem with it?

OP posts:
iklboodolphrednosedreindeer · 04/12/2019 20:56

You don't see a problem with him viewing a colleague in her underwear?

Andypromqueen · 04/12/2019 20:57

Ew that’s gross. I’d be livid if my dh did this!

Pilot12 · 04/12/2019 20:57

No, I would find that completely inappropriate and I would be asking my husband to unfollow her social media. I know that my DH wouldn't like it if I was in the same boat with a male underwear model. I already get accused of looking at fit men on the beach!

GruffalOH · 04/12/2019 20:58

People might say that there's no reason for him not to watch the videos, but honestly my feeling is that there is no reason TO be watching. What's to gain for him by viewing them? Is he planning on buying underwear from her? If not, then the only reason he's watching is surely just so he can see her in her underwear... which is...creepy and weird, especially given he works with her.

MonstranceClock · 04/12/2019 21:00

Wouldn’t bother me either.

category12 · 04/12/2019 21:02

Wellll, I have a mate who makes and sells corsetry, and mutual friends including men follow her social media and I think there's a difference between perving on her/her stuff and supporting her online shop as a mate. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion he's perving, but you know him.

FelixFelicis6 · 04/12/2019 21:02

Gross.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 21:03

I think that's exactly how I feel... What reason is there TO watch. He's not purchasing any. She does post other things too, but if you know that she does post underwear pics then I don't understand why you need to watch

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 21:04

To clarify, it's not on a shop or business account, its 'nice' underwear posted on her personal account

OP posts:
category12 · 04/12/2019 21:05

Oh, that changes things a bit. Wouldn't be keen.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 21:17

Could those saying they wouldn't be bothered please explain why

OP posts:
Qcng · 04/12/2019 21:24

If you are a professional underwear designer, you don't use yourself as a model usually.

Same with corsets, it's best to use a variety of different models, because it's more professional.

Otherwise you're just flaunting yourself in your underwear and it can lead to problems.

Qcng · 04/12/2019 21:26

It depends,
Does your husband need to follow designers generally for his work?

Does he follow other lingerie designers?

Does he work on an area that will help lingerie designers?

Qcng · 04/12/2019 21:27

^in not on

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 21:27

Lead to problems?

I'm not judging the woman, she can do what she likes. It's not a professional company, it's a hobby that she makes pieces and posts herself in the design

She could post herself naked and that'd be her prerogative

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 21:28

No, what they do and her side thing are nothing to do with each other

OP posts:
Qcng · 04/12/2019 21:40

Anyone serious about designing lingerie will use a model.
Otherwise she's clearly an exhibitionist.

So, he's following an exhibitionist on her social media.

I'd be a bit bothered by that.

Bleen · 04/12/2019 21:44

I really wouldn’t be happy if my husband was following a woman in underwear that he worked with. It’s not right

user1479305498 · 04/12/2019 21:45

I would be very pissed off, and think it’s sleazy, maybe if I was23 and fit as a butchers dog it wouldn’t bother me , but in my 50s and feeling a bit past my peak- it would.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 21:49

We're all early to late 30s if that provides any context

OP posts:
Nothavingfunrightnow · 04/12/2019 21:53

Fuck that for a laugh. Absolutely no ways would I be happy about that. I bet my bottom dollar he'd have it off with her given half a chance.

Sagradafamiliar · 04/12/2019 21:54

It would only be ok if he were a potential customer. Otherwise why would he be looking? Yuck.