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Original poster

Am I in the wrong thinking he shouldn't be doing this?

132 replies

Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 20:43

Tell me if I'm wrong. My husband works with a woman who also runs her own lingerie company. It's a home based low scale bespoke type thing and she models her own stuff.

My husband follows her on social media and she regularly posts stories in her underwear and he views them

Am I wrong to find this really inappropriate, to knowingly look at someone you work with in their underwear? I don't mind him seeing lingerie ads etc but it feels very different that it's a woman he sees every day

OP posts:
Ashxrenz1 · 04/12/2019 21:54

I'd say it depends on if it's her general social media page with other pictures on or if its purposely for lingerie, i have people I know on my social media who are personal trainers and have there bodys out, but I dont look at that, I just scroll straight past. If its upset you then definitely have a word with your partners.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 21:56

As I said, it's on her personal page. Stories include her lingerie as well as normal things so not a business page or the general feed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 21:58

Borderline devil's advocate, you obviously don't know what a story is until you click on it but if you know she posts underwear stuff then to me you just wouldn't watch any just in case

OP posts:
user1471449295 · 04/12/2019 21:59

Creepy and sleazy. She’s not some model he’s never going to meet. She works with him.

Ashxrenz1 · 04/12/2019 21:59

Men dont think into things like women do, if it was just a lingerie page I'd be annoyed, but I'd definitely bring it up. As I say communication is the key.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 22:00

I have brought it up, that's why I posted

OP posts:
SuperbMonkey · 04/12/2019 22:01

He lacks empathy and sense but that’s probably all!

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 22:02

I don't think it's an overly difficult concept of your wife not thinking it's normal to know what a woman he works with looks like nearly naked though, I wouldn't dumb men down that much

OP posts:
DartmoorChef · 04/12/2019 22:07

Does he constantly like her posts? Comment on them? Does he even pay any attention to them?

Is it much different to being friends with a colleague who posts holiday photos in their bikini or nights out in club type clothing?

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 22:09

He's actively clicking on the stories to watch them so that does require a level of attention paid

OP posts:
Carmenfortuna · 04/12/2019 22:09

I wouldnt be happy with this at all.
Comes off kinda creepy on his part too.
Id request he unfollowed her tbh its not like its some random insta page is it shes a colleague .

Ashxrenz1 · 04/12/2019 22:12

I always just click through my stories so they go away, it's a OCD thing I think. It just boils down to if you trust your man. It shouldn't be a issue.

Cheeseboardcriminal · 04/12/2019 22:13

I think the issue is muddied because its her personal page. If it was a business page or just dedicated to her underwear I would agree with you. However if he is just treating her like any other colleague then I'm not sure you can kick off, he doesn't choose what she posts.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 04/12/2019 22:14

No, but he can choose not to watch knowing she's going to be nearly naked

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 04/12/2019 22:30

He is seeking out and drooling over photos/videos of his colleague in her underwear. Not only is this very inappropriate, but it is highly disrespectful to you.

anothernamejeeves · 04/12/2019 23:25

Not appropriate at all and probably just the tip of the iceberg

Chlosavxox · 05/12/2019 00:20

I wouldn't like it personally - but he does work with her so that's probably why he's got her on social media in the first place, opposed to just following women to see them half naked! I'd tell him how you feel and if he respects you he'll offer to unfollow her Smile

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 05/12/2019 05:13

Thanks all, I do feel less weird about feeling as I do about it now and that it's not just me

OP posts:
ScreamingLadySutch · 05/12/2019 05:19

Your gut is tingling for a reason.

NO. Men are very visual and he is disrespecting you.

Toomanygerbils · 05/12/2019 05:30

I would feel very uncomfortable if this were my hubby :(

HungryBelly · 05/12/2019 05:32

When you brought it up with him how did he react?

Mumdiva99 · 05/12/2019 05:46

It wouldn't bother me. She's an exhibitionist. He might enjoy a look. So what. I'm his wife. He's committed to me.

I would have more issue with him texting a female colleague who wasn't promoting a business....then I would question what's going on.

My husband and I had a friend's daughter as a FB friend. She started doing modelling in underwear. At that point my husband muted her account/hid it or whatever. As we both felt that was inappropriate - we were 40something and she was 20....but we'd known her as a kid and he said it would be weird to look at the pics. I agreed with him.

Bluntness100 · 05/12/2019 05:51

Couldn't say I'd have an issue with it, seeing women in their underwear isn't exactly unusual, it's not the 1920s.

I'd ask myself why you're so bothered, I'm guessing you're jealous and think he might fancy her.

Bottom line is though, even if he didn't follow her, he'd be able to look any time he wished without you knowing, and you're going to look like a right jealous loon dictating he can't look at her in her undies.

Original poster
Pollypocket89 · 05/12/2019 05:55

I haven't said he has to unfollow her because I can't control what he does. I said I found it really weird, he said there's no need

Not to drip feed, as I wanted a neutral response but it's someone he's been questioned as to if they are more than friendly at work. I know that's not true but it just adds to why he shouldn't watch for me

OP posts:
HungryBelly · 05/12/2019 05:58

I would not want to see my colleagues in their underwear. I would just find it totally awkward afterwards.

The whole set up is just weird! I would find myself a new male friend and see how he likes it.

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