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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Guy I was chatting to on whatsapp just disappeared !

302 replies

AL75 · 04/12/2019 11:18

For a month now I was chatting on phone and messaging a guy I met online. Twice we had to postpone meeting due to ill health either he was not well or I was not well. Our last contact was last Thursday night and I have heard nothing since then, it's now been 6 days. I have noticed the last time he was on whatsapp was the last time he messaged me so he isn't communicating with anyone on whatsapp. He definitely has not blocked me as I can see his online status and no reason for him to stop contact as we were getting on extremely well. I called 2 days ago twice and went straight to voicemail. I have no idea if something tragic has happened to him and no way of finding out. I don't know what to think anymore as this is quite uncharacteristic of him to do this. It has been now 6 days which is very unusual for him not to get in touch. At the beginning I was angry that he wasn't going on whatsapp not reading my messages but now it looks like he isn't using his phone completely and am now worried and extremely sad that it looks like it's come to an end. If he was physically able to, he could log on to dating site he found me on from pc and message me that way but he hasn't and not answering to mail from site that I am sending. I don't know what to think. Every morning he used to whatsapp me good morning or every other morning around 5.45 am before he went on his morning run and am worried something happened last Friday when I heard nothing. I feel so devastated 😔

OP posts:
Freddiemercuarysmoustache · 10/12/2019 22:47

Do yourself a favour op and do not reply to him

bluebell34567 · 10/12/2019 22:50

exactly @Freddiemercuarysmoustache.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 10/12/2019 22:53

Agree. India is very techy. I feel OP is going to believe whatever he says though.

Swirlygirl · 10/12/2019 22:59

RLOU30 she absolutely can. She investing energy in to this man - if he is worth it he will talk to her about it.

She could work any of those questions in to a convo and they should be easy to answer. Too much emphasis is given on not pissing a man off on OLD Incase he goes on the missing list.

MutedUser · 10/12/2019 23:08

OP that update screams lies . But from the sound of it you will believe whatever he tells you as truth.

Canadianpancake · 10/12/2019 23:14

Are people really this stupid?

jelly79 · 10/12/2019 23:20

What did you reply to that OP??

VanGoghsDog · 10/12/2019 23:24

He got back to me today saying he's just got back from India. At the time we last messaged, his aunt past away and he dropped everything and went there.

Hahahahahahahaha!!!

Deadsouls · 10/12/2019 23:26

I smell BS.

He could even take the time at the airport to message you before he went to India.

They don't have wifi at airports. They don't have wifi in India? Anywhere, no 4G? Nothing!
He couldn't send a text!

If I were really giving the benefit of the doubt, then there is the argument that maybe he was too consumed by events that you were out of his mind.

But...phones do work in India, I assume.
You don't know anything about him at all. You're not in a relationship. You only know what he says.

And all this worrying and anxiety you've been through, imagining all sorts.

If it were reversed, what would you have done?
Is there the possibility that you are over invested in this communication? You don't really know what he feels or thinks.

Deadsouls · 10/12/2019 23:27

*couldn't take the time

KaptenKrusty · 10/12/2019 23:28

Oh gawd ... classic 😂😂😂

SilverySurfer · 11/12/2019 00:17

Obviously the woman he chose didn't work out so back he comes. Seriously OP, please don't fall for his bullshit.

If you have only recently broken up with someone, it may be a good idea to have some alone time to come to terms with that. This bloke doesn't sound like what you need.

Probably a waste of time since judging from your posts, you're so over invested after a month without even having met him, you will ignore all the advice. I feel sorry for you.

Gemma2019 · 11/12/2019 02:38

Don't be daft OP, that story is ridiculous.

Spartak · 11/12/2019 03:03

He wouldn't need roaming to use his what's app, wifi in the airport or hotel would work just fine.

He's talking out of his arse. Have some respect for yourself and block him.

Clymene · 11/12/2019 03:24

Ah the old dead aunt story. Come on OP, this is absurd and you know it

MyOtherProfile · 11/12/2019 05:18

Sorry OP but this sounds so unlikely. As pp have said there is WiFi all over. I can imagine him forgetting to contact once he got the news and was making arrangements to go but there would have been lots of opportunity after the initial panic just to let you know. I hope you can back off a bit for your own self preservation.

wheresmymojo · 11/12/2019 05:42

This is bollocks.

There is wi-fi available all over India. Where did he go?

I suspect every cafe and restaurant he's been in has had WiFi!

Oysterbabe · 11/12/2019 05:46

So when is the date?

puds11 · 11/12/2019 05:52

My phone worked in India

YoungHun · 11/12/2019 06:21

Ah yeah, he went to India. His thumbs fell off and he couldn't text. 🙄

He's not that into you.

It's amazing the amount of OLD dating
men who have sick relatives!! My bestie and I laugh about it all the time.

It seems to be the number one excuse when people don't want to meet because a) they're married
b) they are not who the say they are!!

Blueroses99 · 11/12/2019 06:32

I’ve just returned from India, staying with family, no wifi anywhere! Data roaming is expensive so I usually turn it off when I go away but this time arranged a data bundle before I left. There is 4G everywhere so he should have sent you a message either before he left or while he was there, but just wanted to respond to pp saying there is wifi everywhere - not in my experience.

thewooster · 11/12/2019 06:43

Sounds like bullshit to me OP and I certainly would not chase him.

Istical · 11/12/2019 06:56

India or no India....not having the courtesy to send a quick text to let me know would be a deal breaker for me. It takes less than a minute to send a WhatsApp.
Booking a flight, traveling to the airport, security, wait for gate, sit at gate, board plane.....4 hours, absolute minimum...all of which time there's no reason he didn't have a phone signal to give you a minute of his time to message.
He's either lying or an idiot, or both. Either way...goodbye!

WellErrr · 11/12/2019 07:08

Oh you poor thing :(

Unless he teleported instantly, there would have been time between finding out, booking the flight, packing his stuff and waiting at the airport when he could have sent you a 30 second message.

DianaT1969 · 11/12/2019 07:13

When I go abroad I use whatsapp for free. No roaming fees required. I imagine India is the same and that they have lots of public WiFi hotspots anyway.