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Original poster

Guy I was chatting to on whatsapp just disappeared !

302 replies

AL75 · 04/12/2019 11:18

For a month now I was chatting on phone and messaging a guy I met online. Twice we had to postpone meeting due to ill health either he was not well or I was not well. Our last contact was last Thursday night and I have heard nothing since then, it's now been 6 days. I have noticed the last time he was on whatsapp was the last time he messaged me so he isn't communicating with anyone on whatsapp. He definitely has not blocked me as I can see his online status and no reason for him to stop contact as we were getting on extremely well. I called 2 days ago twice and went straight to voicemail. I have no idea if something tragic has happened to him and no way of finding out. I don't know what to think anymore as this is quite uncharacteristic of him to do this. It has been now 6 days which is very unusual for him not to get in touch. At the beginning I was angry that he wasn't going on whatsapp not reading my messages but now it looks like he isn't using his phone completely and am now worried and extremely sad that it looks like it's come to an end. If he was physically able to, he could log on to dating site he found me on from pc and message me that way but he hasn't and not answering to mail from site that I am sending. I don't know what to think. Every morning he used to whatsapp me good morning or every other morning around 5.45 am before he went on his morning run and am worried something happened last Friday when I heard nothing. I feel so devastated 😔

OP posts:
Angelw · 11/12/2019 07:24

Please OP listen to what most people are advising you. I smell a rat! If his aunt passed away he would want some comforting from you and not just disappear. The phone number he gave you is probably not his first line.. I’m a bit like you in a way and like to believe all that glitters is Gold, fact being it ain’t. Take this as a lesson and move on. He ghosted you for whatever reason, best obviously known to him, maybe was with his wife, GF or for whatever reason that only he will know. This is very common in the online world and what is not fair is that you seem very invested in him. Try to think outside the box... some people like to make fun out of others.. if you decide to carry on bear in mind all possibilities Flowers

Grobagsforever · 11/12/2019 07:32

@AL75 Utter bullshit. He had PLENTY of time at the airport to message you and there is plenty of wi fi in India.

His other option dumped him and he got back in touch

Block for goodness sake

afterme · 11/12/2019 07:35

It’s always an elderly aunt.

MyOtherProfile · 11/12/2019 07:38

Did you reply OP?

Original poster
AL75 · 11/12/2019 07:43

His excuse was that he was too consumed by events. Anyway, I am taking everything on board and playing it cool. He is going to have to try harder.

OP posts:
afterme · 11/12/2019 07:44

Just arrange a date?

Hollylolly28 · 11/12/2019 07:46

Exactly arrange a date some where very public if he cancels block him.

Clymene · 11/12/2019 07:49

Am I right in thinking you haven't even met this guy? He probably is the elderly aunt Grin

Lysianthus · 11/12/2019 08:05

Definitely arrange date, if he’s back now. Get a babysitter because the EOW thing is getting in the way.

sableandI · 11/12/2019 08:25

India has wi-fi everywhere and who can live without their phone nowadays. How were his family contacting him? Just be careful Op and keep and try to keep an open mind

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 11/12/2019 08:31

Sounds extremely far fetched Hmm Even if it's true (that his aunt died and he dropped everything and immediately flew to India Hmm the explanation of no wifi or 4g at either side (airports) simply isn't true.

afterme · 11/12/2019 08:32

Does he actually want to meet you?

virginpinkmartini · 11/12/2019 08:42

Load of rubbish. You just knew it was going to be a sob story, because they're harder to challenge, lest you come off as the bad guy.

Ayemama · 11/12/2019 08:56

He couldn't find 30 second ds to send you a quick message saying he was disappearing for a while?

GooseOrTurkey · 11/12/2019 09:05

You’re being played like a fiddle OP, and by a guy you haven’t even met yet. Imagine what he’d be like in person if he plays these sort of games remotely.

You can do much better than this loser.

Mary1935 · 11/12/2019 09:10

Op someone once spent years of there life talking to someone on WhatsApp - they never met, he kept her on a string, she wasted years on him. Don’t waste your time.

happycamper11 · 11/12/2019 09:19

So he is a property developer but was able to go away for this length of time and never need to access the the internet or use a telephone at all for work purposes 🤔. It's not understandable there was no roaming.. there is roaming everywhere in India, my brother travels urban and rural India for work purposes every year and stays in touch throughout. The UK is well behind in these capabilities where I struggle to get a 4G signal in my home in a capital city and it's not that expensive to turn it on for a short time for a WhatsApp anyway.
You don't 'know he's telling the truth' sorry but every single thing he's told you could be (and probably is made up)

God why do people immediately assume he's dodgy??

Probably because some of us have been or know many people who ha e been on OLD a while and seen this exact situation pop up again and again.

CmdrCressidaDuck · 11/12/2019 09:46

Oh FGS this is a truly ludicrous amount of energy to have invested in a stranger you have a fantasy texting relationship with. Texting is Fantasyland not reality, it doesn't mean a thing. This is why you should always meet as soon as possible on OLD and not engage in protracted texting/WhatsApping.

He's a garden variety flake and liar who isn't that into you. Block, move on, and check your boundaries, you can't do OLD this way and you are way overinvested in someone you don't know who cares nothing for you.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 11/12/2019 10:03

Oh OP. You haven't even met. He is just words on a screen until you do. He is just a story of his own making.

forumdonkey · 11/12/2019 11:53

@AL75 message him now and ask to meet up ASAP, see if he's available ?

anotherdisaster · 11/12/2019 12:02

Hang on, the OP hasn't even met this guy yet. So I'm not sure why he owes her an explanation anyway? I'm not saying its not BS but they were NOT in a relationship. They had been 'chatting' so maybe she wasn't the first thing he thought of IF he genuinely had to dash off for a family emergency.
OP, its entirely up to you if you believe him and yes it could be utter bs. He might have been dating someone else then got bored of them - WHO KNOWS. However, he doesn't owe you anything yet so I wouldn't feel too bad if you want to see how it goes. Just keep your wits about you for any other far-fetched stories.

Grobagsforever · 11/12/2019 13:14

@AL75 No one loves their aunt that much.

Loveabitofrain · 11/12/2019 13:33

Can I just say....................

Jesus some of you mumsnetters, your replies?! Not necessary AT ALL. I felt embarrassed. Have a bit of humility!!

There are ways of phrasing things! I wonder how many people don't post on here in fear of having a pasting?!

Groovinpeanut · 11/12/2019 17:05

The likelihood is he'd been seeing someone else, he went to an Indian restaurant with her, it didn't work out so he's back in touch with you.
Just watch he doesn't start spinning the line that as his 'aunt' who used to live in the UK and died in 'India' needs to return to the UK and he's got a cash flow problem.
The mercy dash for dying/ill relatives on OLD is the oldest excuse in the book. I chatted to one guy once his cousin died according to him, 3 days later it was supposedly his Uncle. He obviously got mixed up Grin

1forAll74 · 11/12/2019 17:39

I think that this guy,is just hiding away from you,for reasons that you don't know about,and it seems that you don't know much about him at all anyway.

It seems rather foolish,that you are giving this man so much head space,after only speaking to him for a month.

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