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Original poster

Guy I was chatting to on whatsapp just disappeared !

302 replies

AL75 · 04/12/2019 11:18

For a month now I was chatting on phone and messaging a guy I met online. Twice we had to postpone meeting due to ill health either he was not well or I was not well. Our last contact was last Thursday night and I have heard nothing since then, it's now been 6 days. I have noticed the last time he was on whatsapp was the last time he messaged me so he isn't communicating with anyone on whatsapp. He definitely has not blocked me as I can see his online status and no reason for him to stop contact as we were getting on extremely well. I called 2 days ago twice and went straight to voicemail. I have no idea if something tragic has happened to him and no way of finding out. I don't know what to think anymore as this is quite uncharacteristic of him to do this. It has been now 6 days which is very unusual for him not to get in touch. At the beginning I was angry that he wasn't going on whatsapp not reading my messages but now it looks like he isn't using his phone completely and am now worried and extremely sad that it looks like it's come to an end. If he was physically able to, he could log on to dating site he found me on from pc and message me that way but he hasn't and not answering to mail from site that I am sending. I don't know what to think. Every morning he used to whatsapp me good morning or every other morning around 5.45 am before he went on his morning run and am worried something happened last Friday when I heard nothing. I feel so devastated 😔

OP posts:
MarianaMoatedGrange · 04/12/2019 19:23

OP you are not replying to any of the many posters who've said you've simply been ghosted. Why is that?

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 04/12/2019 19:29

He managed to meet up with one of his others and is currently having it away in a manger with her

ohmydaysagain · 04/12/2019 19:29

I agree with pp it would seem he's likely married with a second phone

namina · 04/12/2019 19:29

Sounds like he's ghosting u

Boireannachlaidir · 04/12/2019 19:36

He's not in hospital Confused

You really need to drop it and learn from the sensible comments OP.

LunchBoxPolice · 04/12/2019 19:40

You sound way too invested and if you keep on checking up on him you’ll embarrass yourself.

MaryPopppins · 04/12/2019 19:53

What was the last conversation you had? What was the last message he sent you?

Dogladyxo · 04/12/2019 19:54

100% ghosted

Original poster
AL75 · 04/12/2019 20:01

53MaryPopppins just a normal conversation we have always had, ended sweetly with a kiss

23MarianaMoatedGrange i know I am not blocked and can't believe he would go out of his way to physically stop using one phone and use another one all because to avoid me. What about his other contacts? as his phone hasn't been charged its gone dead going straight to voicemail. Weird type of ghosting.

OP posts:
lifegoes · 04/12/2019 20:07

OP. This was his second phone then. He's married and prob uses that for stuff like this so he doesn't get caught.

I'm sure you said he's a builder or has a business. He NEEDS his phone for clients and workers. No doubt about it

I bet the name he gave you wasn't even real. And he'll have a LinkedIn page. He'll have a business Facebook page.

Just chalk it up and let it go. He's not dead, he's not lost his phone. You've not met him.

christmassymcchristmas · 04/12/2019 20:07

Well yeah, unless it's a second phone which it likely is but you won't entertain Confused

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 04/12/2019 20:27

Weird type of ghosting

Not really. Sounds pretty typical actually!

TellItLikeItReallyIs · 04/12/2019 20:34

as his phone hasn't been charged its gone dead going straight to voicemail

You don't know this. A phone can go straight to voicemail for many reasons.

If your number is blocked it will do this. If he's got do not disturb turned on. If the phone is turned off or has no reception.

Windmillwhirl · 04/12/2019 20:43

Did you find his LinkedIn? As a property developer he has to be online in some capacity. Google his name and job title....

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 04/12/2019 20:46

It's a burner phone! 🤦‍♀️

Have you checked him out on social media at all OP? As lifegoes says, he must have LinkedIn or Facebook for his business

Pinkbonbon · 04/12/2019 20:47

Facts are: if he wanted to be in touch he would be.

He vanished and hasn't so much as found you on the original site to say 'hey, phones busted, you can reach me at x,y,z'.

Most likely conclusion: he's just not that into you.

Stop torturing yourself, delete his number and move on.

lifeisgoodagain · 04/12/2019 20:49

This happened to me several times, it's so annoying. So pleased I'm now off the market! Move on there's good ones out there

Groovinpeanut · 04/12/2019 20:58

If he's been OLD he's most likely been talking to others. He certainly wouldn't be sitting there waiting for you to parachute into his life. He's obviously been chatting to a few and he's met up with someone who he's clicked with. He wouldn't probably feel he owed you an explanation as you'd not met and just texted.
Most people who use OLD have a cheap phone to use as they're giving a number out. It's less hassle than changing your actual mobile number if they don't take the hint. A 99p SIM card on a PAYG is easier. He's most likely dating someone he's met and has moved on. If it doesn't work out he may get back in touch.

Scarletoharaseyebrows · 04/12/2019 21:01

When you dig deeper into "property developer" on a c.v, you usually find they've not been working and their missus has asked them to decorate the living room.
OP has had a good talking to, not listened and is still holding out for Brad Pitt pinned to the floor by his own petard wardrobe.

JenniferM1989 · 04/12/2019 21:01

He was abducted by aliens.

Seriously though OP, he is probably married. No Facebook? Red flag. Don't know where he works? Red flag. It was likely a second phone or work phone and he got caught with it or started getting questioned by his other half. Lives with his cousin? Right oh. I'm sure if he took over his dads developing site, he'd manage a place of his own. They all say that they live with a friend/sibling/relative just to put it out there that you'll never be taken to their house because guess what? Their wife and kids would be home and it would be awkward for all involved obviously

Mostlyhappy4 · 04/12/2019 21:06

I did online dating for a few years and I'm sorry but this definitely sounds like ghosting..but you're just not listening to the explanation people are giving you about sim card swapping and second phones. This is sadly very common when online dating and I hope you wise up or I really think you will be vulnerable to being taken advantage of, I'm sorry. Can I ask you something, though, @AL75, are you usually awake anyway at 5.45am? If not, it sounds like you are ready to jump to anotheran's time pretty quickly and I would be very wary of doing that. Honestly, I'm not trying to be mean, I just think you should toughen up if you're going to OLD...there are some odd bods and users out there.

louderthan1 · 04/12/2019 21:07

Op
With all respect, I don't think online dating is for you at this point in your life.
This will happen time and time again. You need a very thick skin!

Mostlyhappy4 · 04/12/2019 21:07

*tune not time.

whattodo2019 · 04/12/2019 21:11

Catfish!

Lotus90 · 04/12/2019 21:13

If you're that bloody worried contact the police! No? Thought not. You know the truth deep down